That was on the way to....
On the way from? It was totally different. The excitement gone! The fun depleted. The promising of it, no longer promising. The thrill sucked out. My bubble popped. Cruelly so. Hope was lost. It was doomy and gloomy and depressing. I wanted only to go home and go to bed, pulling all of the covers over my head.
And so. I did.
That's when God kept saying to me (saying all through the night), "Sharon, look at Me! Where are you looking? Why are you looking at that? Look at Me! See Me, and quit glaring at that. Quit scrutinizing your problem. Keep your face focused on Mine." And then every time my face would turn again to that other thing or something else, He'd say, "You're looking at what you can see, Sharon! I'm GOD! LOOK at Me!"
He had been teaching me different scriptures that I had been enamored with. And yet, enamored for all the wrong reasons. I loved what it/He said. I loved the emphasis of them. I couldn't wait to share it. And yet, I didn't realize the distance I'd put between me and Him saying it specifically to me. That is, UNTIL I heard Him echoing it inside my mind all during the night as I tried sleeping and kept loosing my look.
He spent the night saying, "Pay attention! Listen to Me! Change your look! Where in the world is your look looking? I AM GOD! Be still! And KNOW, Sharon! I'm GOD!"
Over and over again He'd remind me to fix my face (Heb 12:2-3)! I didn't hear Him audibly, but in my spirit I could hear Him say clearly, "I told you not to look there," because I'd focus on Him for a second, but quickly turn my head to what my thoughts kept thinking. And wildly, because He kept reminding me of it, I realized what I was doing while I was doing it. It was weird! And the battle was fierce. I wanted to analyze what had happened. I wanted to feel sorry for myself. I wanted to scrutinize it. I wanted to build my case. I looked for every wrong I could find to magnify my feeling. All the while conscience of Him fighting for my face!
He kept reminding me of Scripture. He kept giving me the answers. He kept telling me the solutions. He kept telling me what to do!
It was so ridiculous! It could have been so simple. He was right! He was so right! He is so right! Of course, we know, He's always right. He so knows what He's telling us. He so knows what He's talking about. He knows what works. He's for us and not against! He knows what will heal, what will help, what will quit, what will stop, what will trump and overcome our battles inside. If only we always would "listen"... "pay attention"... and follow (do!) what He's saying to us! It was true, my countenance was happier, my attitude healthier, my mood better when it was His face that I had my look fixed upon. All the while though, the enemy kept fighting, too, for my look!
"If you listen carefully to the voice of the Lord your God and do what is right in His eyes, if you pay attention to His commands and keep all His decrees, I will not bring on you any of the diseases I brought on the Egyptians, for I am the LORD, you heals you." (Exo 15:26).
"but I gave them this command: Obey Me, and I will be your God and you will be My people. Walk in all the ways I command you, that it may go well with you. But they did not listen or pay attention; instead, they followed the stubborn inclinations of their evil hearts. They went backward and not forward... day after day, again and again I sent you My servants the prophets. But they did not listen to Me or pay attention. They were stiff-necked and did more evil than their forefathers." (Jer 7:23-26)
"From the time I brought your forefathers up from Egypt until today, I warned them again and again, saying, "Obey Me." But they did not listen or pay attention; instead, they followed the stubbornness of their evil hearts..." (Jer 11:7,8).
"Hear and pay attention, do not be arrogant, for the LORD has spoken." (Jer 13:15).
"Do not be like your forefathers, to whom the earlier prophets proclaimed: This is what the LORD Almighty says: 'Turn from your evil ways and your evil practices.' But they would not listen or pay attention to Me, declares the Lord." "... they refused to pay attention; stubbornly they turned their backs and stopped their ears." (Zec 1:4; 7:11)
If you think about it, weigh it, consider it... you'll discover that the reality is that so much of our mood or our trouble or our problem is caused (and kept there) by a mere look. Even with our eyes closed, we'll find ourselves "looking" / watching / seeing / thinking about / scrutinizing something. We're rarely truly stayed "still"! Our body's may be, but our minds can be complete and utter turmoil! In total chaos and running wildy! Yet if we truly fix our faces upon our Savior's it'd uplift our countenances and keep us equipped and encouraged. It'd "still" us, as He wants and He's told us to be! "Be still, and know," He says, "I am God." But too often we call ourselves "still" and we don't "know" Him, but we "No" Him instead because we're refusing all that He's saying!
Be careful with your "look"... and don't let every little nit-picky thing have such control and turn your sweet head!
P.S. God has recently been working with me on this before (See here), but I evidently don't learn lessons quickly, because He's been trying to teach me this lesson for years!
It's simple: fix your face! And keep it fixed there. Let nothing tear your face away from His!