Thursday, September 17, 2009

I could use a new skin... or at least a good ironing!!!

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It's not easy being me. Honestly, I'm not exactly sure how hard it really is, I really just wanted to say so. I suppose I'd rather be me than anybody else I know. And I'd be horribly embarrassed for anybody else to have to be the me that I am. I may at times be hard on myself, be ashamed of myself, be disgusted and dissatisfied and discouraged with myself, often not like (and even hate) myself... but I guess I'm comfortable here. I wouldn't know how to be somebody outside this skin of mine.... although, I would truly be tempted (if the option were there) to trade skins with lots of others I've seen while still keeping the inside the same.

Wouldn't it be neat to simply zip out of your skin because you didn't like the shade or the shape or the age or the color of the one you've been wearing (it's too big, it's too baggy, it's too short, it's too saggy).. and zip into another that you've specifically picked out to put on? Or even better yet, wouldn't it be fun to have a closet full of skins to wear on the whim of the mood of your moment?

I don't know. I'm mostly prone to sameness. Too many skins hanging in my wardrobe would be too overwhelming and probably rot from lack of wearing. I'd probably have a favorite... and I'd wear my favorite daily. All the time. Night and day. Inside and out. Tanned year round! Skinny forever! Perfectly proportioned! Beautiful always! Sensationally stunning!

Okay. Well then, if I had the option to look like that, then surely I'd think again about settling for this inside I've got. It's far from perfect and I've got so much work to do on it. It's too unorganized, too ditzy at times, frazzled too often, and way too flittery. It procrastinates, hides when it's scared, and lives in denial when things are too painful. It's happier than it used to be, and laughs a lot; but still mean comes out uninvited at times in a matter of only a second. It can be proned to rebel rather than simply submit, and is often stubborn over things that is really quite silly. It beats myself up, and sometimes others too, but mostly because it's mad at itself and not at you. God's working on it and I'm trying to repent and relent, but His work's not done and won't be finished and perfected until He comes to take me Home to Him. I suppose until then I'll continue to pray for the changing He's doing, and pray that He'll tender my heart into willing!

Wow, at the patience He has! At His unfailing love! At His faithfulness that's everlasting.

Wonder if sometimes He'd like to respond to my earlier statement and say, "If you think it's hard being you, you oughta try being Me! It's surely not so easy! I've got beautiful skins that don't know that they are, and insides that forget that I'm living inside them!"

Wow... when you put it like that!

What an honor!

God has that wardrobe of skins in His closet that I suggested that it'd be fun to have in mine, and He's picked out and chosen each one individually.... and actually wears them all - all the time! Not one's too young or too old, too tall or too thin, too wrinkly or too heavy. Each one is proportioned just right and sized and equipped for His journey. He's made some into doctors, some into teachers, some into drivers or lawyers or scholars or preachers. He has some shaped for sportcoats  others purposed for gym shorts, some uniformed as cooks, or cut out as nurses. He's molded some to be stay-at-home moms, and some He's made as moms that are working. Some have been formed as artists, or framed as beauticians, or made into waitresses or writers or welders or wrestlers. Some sit still and are wheeled in chairs, and some due to illnesses are, for this season in their lives, mostly sleeping beauties. Some wear white, some dress in stripes, some sleep in the day, some sleep at night.

Skins! In colors of all kinds. Shapes of all sorts. Each sized to perfection. Contoured from all ages.

Beautiful!

Every single one in His eyes He sees as beautiful to Him. And amazingly, He finds each one that wants to worthy of wearing Him.

He's honored to wear our skin. He wants to! He died to! He resurrected from the dead to! He fights to! He intercedes to! He graces, gives mercy, forgives to! He bought the thing! He bought the thing! He bought the thing! He paid for it with His own blood! He died to ransom it! To redeem it! To restore it! To renew it! To refuel it!

It sounds so overwhelmingly wonderfully crazy to me! But Jesus wants to wear my pitiful skin to display the splendor of His Glory in! Incredible! And not only that, He wants to display His splendor inside the skin of you too!

Fantastically miraculously amazing! No matter what my outside looks like, I'll always be beautiful when He's in my in!

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