I suppose that there's something about standing on the threshold in between two years that ignites the flash-backed memories of where you've recently been and what might yet lie ahead waiting for you. When the tolls sound to ring out the old and ring in the new, there's either some sort of automatic nostalgic want to hold onto things (memories that's past) that the old year held that it no longer holds... Or, an anticipated anxiety that anxiously awaits for some specific things (dreams and desires) hoped for in the new one that the old year never did bring about though you desperately wanted it to.
Many times there's a sigh of relief for the one that is closing, because the year held nothing more than bad memories.... And there's a refreshing relief for start-overs in a new year that hasn't yet had time to be marred by anything you've done or that's happened to you... Instead it offers a new chapter, a blank page, an erased picture, a new beginning, a fresh start, a clean slate, a magnified Do-Over... hope! And so you start it with a held breath and a wide-eyed hopeful wonder that has a trust that this year will surely be better than all of the others that's passed you.
As I stand between this door of time, I find myself both looking back at the old like we all do, and looking forward to the new one too.
Looking back over the year that's just ending, I find that I ran the full gamet of emotions for one reason or another. Some things I'd like to hold on to. Some things I'd like to let go of. Some things I'd like to improve on. Some things I'd like to begin. Some things I'd like to end. Some things I long for in my past. Some things I long for in my future. Some things I'm thankful for. Some things I regret. Some things I'm thrilled that I've weathered through. Some things I have hope for yet.......
I find that I like both the old years... and the new. And that I wouldn't want one over the other. Without one ~ I wouldn't be who I am. Without the other ~ I couldn''t become what I can.
I had originally elaborated on all sorts of things as I mulled over my 365 days that's recently passed... but then I felt myself too vulnerable, too naked, way too exposed. I suppose some things are meant to be shared, but some things are meant only for one's own memory.
It wasn't all perfect and I definitely didn't make all the right decisions... but I made more right ones this year than I did in some of the years before. I like surprises along the way, and we're all quaranteed some! Some we want. Some we don't. Some we wish we had, but didn't. Some we wish that didn't, but did. I got my share of those. Some were totally unexpected and fantastically fun. But even with the ones that weren't, we have a promise that I can't forget and it's that God "works EVERY-THING out for GOOD for those that love Him." Who can hang their heads for long with a promise promised to us like that?
Then, here's another interesting thought of a whole different matter. A friend of mine is out of town tonight as the countdown begins, she called me a few minutes ago. She was telling me where she was and what was going on and what they were doing. After she hung up I called her right back just to remind her that she was in her new year already, while I was still in my old one. I don't know why, I guess I get a thrill out of the weirdest of things. That seems awfully neat to me. And it served as a reminder to me too that we're all at different places in our times... even when still in the same one. I'm at a sweet place tonight at home while pondering back over the old years that have long gone and the new ones to come. I wonder where you are in yours?
I can say with no qualms at all about it, I had a very good year. And I am looking forward to all that awaits me in the year of 2010.
My hope for you is that you have a very good new year too!
God KNOWS the plans He has for us (Jer 29:11)... My prayer for you is "that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may KNOW HIM better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you MAY KNOW THE HOPE TO WHICH HE HAS CALLED YOU, the riches of His glorious inheritance in the saints, and His incomparably great power for us who believe." (Eph 1:17-19a) For we dare don't want to waste our days nor miss our calling, our purpose, His plan in the time we've been given!
Go out and live as He's purposed for you in this new 2010! May it be one of our most effective years for Him ever!