I know this girl. I've been this girl. I am this girl. Yet sometimes she leaves.. Though soon if she does (if she somewhere disappears) give me a minute (sometimes two) and I'll be back and be her again after those flickering flames for those pair a minutes or two.
Sometimes I feel so full that I think I'll burst if I don't find release in writing it down. I'll grab a napkin, tear a corner off a cup, write on my leg, or the leg sitting next to me if I need to and can't find proper paper to write it somewhere.
Sometimes I feel all dried up. Like my saying is dry. I'm empty inside. There's nothing left in my cup.
I hate that feeling. I like to "say." I love the emotion and the full feeling that must be said. The fill that's so full it automatically spills. Even if not another soul stops and bothers to read what I've written after somehow penned.... I so often can't help it... I have-to say!
To be honest, years ago I use to pray for that fire. That continual flame that burns hotter and hotter. For God to always make sure this bush keeps on burning. A fire that nothing or no one can dare quench or put out or change its mind or opinion! A desire that must seek Him. An unquenchable hunger that must read His book. An overwhelming thirst that must drink the Living Water from the stream of His Son.
I often feel like Jeremiah said he did, like there's a fire shut up in my bones and that if I try to hold it in, indeed, I cannot (Jer 20:9)!
Today as I drove the Interstate to an out of town place..... I thought that I'd simply burst with the feeling (or should I say filling?) of my Savior as I drove! God is so GOoD! I cannot but help to stop a moment here and thank Him for the Filler-Upper He is... and for a Filler-Upper that is good at continually filling! He's the flammer of my heart, the fire of my soul! How can I ever thank Him enough?