Thursday, April 22, 2010

God's sweetness makes me cry... and NOW would be a good time!

God has been stretching me this week. Kindly He warned me in advance. He prepped me before time. He reminded me of things that He'd said. He answered my questions to things He had already answered before. Confirming to me what I really already knew. Without me even realizing it, at the very exact moment I'd need it, He was preparing me for what He was getting ready to ask. Because of something that had happened and caused my mind to wonder and worry if this was the actual thing that He wanted, He answered all those questions in the wildest of ways so that I would have no doubt.

I was woed by His goodness. Whoa-ed by the vividness in what He had said. Wowed in my wonder of the Great I Am.

And then.

After clarity was made and I no longer had cause to doubt, without my expecting it in my immediate moment, He popped the question to send me on a mission.


So quick?




You are kidding me, right?

My answer when asked was (with my jaw-dropped to the floor) "yes." How could I answer any differently? He was too precise in preparing me for me to answer negatively when asked.

So wow. As Dr L put it, "It's time. You're turn. You're on."

I was scheduled to go with him into yet another men's prison tomorrow. Dr. L was to be speaking at a Re-Entry Program about Faith and Love and it's importance to make it in life, and the importance of having faith in God and loving each other in helping to keep the men from staying out of prison once they had finally been released. He had to cancel due to an unexpected call to somewhere else. So, he told the person in charge there that he couldn't make it, but that I still could. Thus, that leaves me alone as the speaker!!!

I am still overwhelmed by that thought. I still don't know what I am to say. I do believe (because of my week!) that this whole set up was prepared by God. And I do realize that with the sending that God is always faithful to equip. As in my earlier blog, He won't send you to say something without telling you what to say. But the lecture is to be in the morning.... "Lord, how long will you wait until You tell me?"

I am trusting Him. (What else can I do?) But, trust me, I am trusting with a whole lot of fear and trembling!

I know the verses, "But when they hand you over, do not worry how or what you are to say; for it will be given you in that hour what you are to say. For it is not you who speak, but it is the spirit of your Father who speaks in you" - Matthew 10: 19-20

"In that hour" ?????????????

"In that hour" ?????????????

"In that hour" ??????????????????????????????????

Seriously, I hate to rush You, dear Lord. BUT, do You mind? If You will. I know You're able! Can You tell me a few hours before then???

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