Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Is it just me?
I'm tired. Really tired. And my day is not done. I really probably shouldn't be blogging. NOT, mind you, because I haven't finished all that I have still got waiting on me to do yet. But rather because, I'm tired. Really tired! And not in the best of moods. It's not my best moment. My countenance isn't officially 'downcasted'...., but it's definitely lower than it was this morning.
Not in a bad mood really. But tired sometimes is quick to growl at and bite at a thing (or a person) that wouldn't normally set one on edge. Thankfully there are no-bodies around me. Everyone is safe in my loneness!
Did I say I was tired?
Tonight (in my tired-mode-of-the-moment), I'm wondering just what I must look like to people? Do I look like the person that has nothing to do but wants to, so is just waiting to do all that you'd like to get done but don't want to do yourself? Do I look like I need a to-do list of some sort? Do I look anxious to start the long list that you've thought of to give me?
Just wondering. Just curious. Just thinking I must!
Is it the clothes? The hair? The attitude? The perfume? Thus far I have had so many people lining up my new year without checking with me first. My day has been full of doing things that this person or that decided that they wanted me to get done, and I can't think of one thing that I've done that I planned for myself.
Is it just me? Or, is it you too? Who's planning for you all the work that you do?
Okay. I'm sorry. I feel better now though. My 'whine' has energized me and given me the 'umph' that I so desperately needed to get back to another thing someone else planned for my day that I didn't have the time earlier to do.
I'm at the office. Just got here. I'll be working until.....................
Hopefully I'll be home before morning. :)
Now, after a refreshing, here's what God so graciously did. He reminded me of what I'd said earlier in an earlier blog. The thing about wanting to serve, wanting to help others, wanting to do for somebody else instead of being so self-absorbed and only serving myself.
Woe, was all this a pop-quiz again without me recognizing it as another test I'd been given? Ugh, how much does whining take from the grade on that I'll be making? Or does it render me simply as: Failed!
Oh God, YOU are so GOoD! Please forgive me when I whine! Even tired has NO excuse. I want to be used in any way You see fit! Mold me. Make me. Change my ways to Your ways. And transform my me-way-of-thinking inside the workings of my mind to think as Jesus would think... and to quickly wash another one's feet! Lovingly! Graciously! And with a merciful want-to to do it!
P.S. Honestly, nevermind all that. My want to whine doesn't even have to do with all that. The main reason is like I said, I really am overly tired. I love Christmas and New Years, but I have been running around for weeks like crazy. Plus, we've had company non-stop for who knows how long since. If we've not been out-of-town, we've been entertaining. We finally just got back in town ourselves late on Sunday. Then, yesterday I had another all day drive to New Orleans again and back! We've had workers in the house all day. And, I've been gone all day again doing all sorts of others things. I'm not only ready to be back home and back to our normal. But I'm also ready for all guests to go home!! I love you! But go home and give me a few minutes of refueling. I found out just a little while ago that we have more company still. And I am totally afraid of just how LONG this particular sweet one plans to be staying.
Oops! My whine is spilling from my jar again. Will I ever remember to put a lid on it and rejoice in the wonder of my God!
Ah... just thinking of You, Lord, can make me smile! Forgive me! I love You! I am richly and wonderfully and mightily and bountifully blessed! Help me to be a blessing to others... even when I'm tired!!! :)