I had a super hard (challenging!) last 5 weeks. Then, on top the turmoil, last Saturday I fell.
I don't remember what happened either time. To put it simply, I suppose I just blacked out; though normally I know I'm headed that direction because I feel in advance the light-headedness starting to take over. Such feeling gives me time to put my head down, and wait until the feeling passes over me; thus preventing such falling from happening.
Not this time.
The first fall wasn't too bad. The second? Left evidence! Though I cannot tell you anything that happened, by deduction I've figured out what it was that I hit. A huge concrete urn that sits right inside my front door. It cracked my tooth, cut a place underneath my jaw, hit my cheek bone, tore up the top part of my ear, scraped and put a huge knot on my head behind that same ear, and whopped the top of my arm and my hip. Today I am sporting a rainbow of colors such as purple and blue in some places, and I'm wearing a putrid green upon my face.
But that's not why I'm writing.
In my month of "hard" (Lord, please forgive me when I whine!)... I switched only between two sets of clothing. The first: "Trying". And the second: Plain out "Ugly."
Now, after the fact, I feel horrid! That being so, I texted my daughter (who during this time so very kindly listened to me), my husband (who patiently tolerated me), and my best friend (who sympathized despite all of my ridiculousnesses). I typed to all three:
God so gently and sweetly and tenderly (but seriously!) reminded me of a portion Scripture that I quote and think of often. The part that I often say to others and that He reminded me of is that we are to be "a display of His Splendor" (Isa 61:3). I cannot tell you of the countless times that He has stopped me in my tracks with the ever-knowing admonition that in my present mood of the moment that I am failing to display any Splendor of His at all. I am displaying alright, but it's only a nasty look!
I am ashamed and horrified and embarrassed and sorry for all of my ugliness these past few weeks!! Please forgive and except my apology.
Then today, just now, God wildly reminded me that another part of that very verse says that we are to wear "a garment of praise" instead of being clothed in "a spirit of despair."
I will be honest and tell you right now, I had been garbing myself daily from the wrong wardrobe!
Yuck! He's so right!!! I have very much failed Him. The garment that I have been clothed in was a pitiful unexplainable darkness of despair that I looked (and felt!) horrid in!... simply no joy (no praise!) at all within or without of me.
Please forgive me when I whine! For I have so much to praise God for. Indeed, the JOY of the LORD is always our strength. I love, too, the reminder today and the admonition from my Lord.
Like I said, I sent this to Prissy (my daughter) as well as the other two; later to find out that Prissy had been having a very hard day herself. She didn't get off until 11 p.m... and on top of everything else in her day, she found out on the way home that she had company staying with her, knowing that she had work again at the 6 o'clock hour in the morning. For lack of a better way of saying it, she was wearing the same shoes that I had previously been wearing... She was tired, stressed, and in mood.
After her unexpected guest greeted her at the door with prayer!!!... she immediately "chose" joy and to receive the blessing being spoken over her. She later texted me back. I L-O-V-E what she wrote!!! Wow at the blessing that this child is to me! She responded to what I had earlier texted. She said:
Wow!!! Amen!! I couldn't have said it better, and what perfect timing. HE'S SO GOOOOOOD!!! His mercies are new every mourning (yes, I spelled that wrong on purpose, and yes I am my mother's daughter!). Declaration: Tomorrow I will display Your Splendor for all to see, I will wear Your praise gladly on my lips, face, and actions and I will notttt fall into the pit of despair (noun: The complete loss or absence of hope). You are the Lord of all! And I receive Your joy for tomorrow for both me and my momma!
I so love her heart!!!!!! AND her misspelling!!!! Perfect! And beautiful! ('His mercies are new every mo(u)rning!') I'll never see that verse the same now because of her!
"His mercies are new EVERY".....
Thank You, Lord, for all of the "EVERY"s that You cover!