Tuesday, December 15, 2009

What is it you're Seek-ing?



A friend sent me an email. One that I'm sure many of you have seen about America fervently needing to turn our faces to God and pray for our nation. Mostly because of our steady move away from God's principles and His commands. The email cries out, "America, prayer is our only hope!." The inspiring verse used to encourage us is 2 Chronicles 7:14 which says, "If My people, who are called by My name, will humble themselves and pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from Heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land."

Wow, a powerful truth! IF ONLY we could see the magnitude of it! God not only wants us on our knees humbly bowed to Him, but also us seeking forgiveness for our lack of urgency, for our failed sincerity, for our busyness, for our distractions and our loss of focus, for the idols we've erected and now worship and serve, for the gods we've made, and for our rebellion to sin simply because our flesh wants us to.

While we stood singing in church on Sunday morning about seeking God's face, I wondered if we truly are seeking His face for real? Or rather, instead, if most of us are just really seeking our own (without our consciously being aware of it)? Seeking recognition? Seeking acceptance? Seeking justification? Seeking significance? Seeking accolades? Seeking promotion? Seeking satisfaction? Seeking comfort? Seeking my wants? Seeking someone to notice me... seeking someone to see me, so that I'll know that I matter somehow, so that I'll feel that I'm special, so that I won't feel so alone? Do we seek Him really? Or rather seek what He can give me? what He can do? how He can help? I don't know. I don't know why I wondered. It's just a thought that while singing popped into my head.

I've thought a lot about "seeking" since then. We're seekers at heart, whether we know it or not. We seek what we want. We seek to fill. We seek finding our face on another's (Am I on anyone's mind? Is anybody thinking of me? Do I count to anyone?).

Some seek revenge. Some seek to find refuge. Some seek the face of their enemies... watching everything they do, magnifying their wrongs, slandering their sins, showing their faces to others after we've painted them ugly and mean. We'll seek a kind word. A pat on the back. Someone to take our side. We'll seek healing, or something to soothe the pain that's hurting within. We seek money to pay our bills; and before they're fully paid, seek another something else to buy that we can't really afford. We seek for the next product that'll make us look prettier, or thinner, or tanner, or younger. We seek just the right food to satiate our palette, but we often leave feeling overstuff and hate ourselves after we've eaten. We seek love..... and once married often we fight against the very one that we've chosen. We seek! We seek! We seek! But what is it that we're looking for? And where is it that we're honestly looking?

I don't think we mean to get distracted, and I think we are rarely aware that we've actually been distracted when we have been. And I'm thoroughly convinced that we're often guilty of thinking we're seeking God, when it's not really Him at all that we've been seeking. It hasn't dawned on me before now, that often when we call ourselves "seeking" God in prayer, that we're really just seeking Him to do something for us, to bless our latest endeavor, to help us in our needs, to give us what we want. That's not truly seeking Him. That's seeking Him to do what we want, praying for Him to provide, praying for our wishes not His will. There's a difference. We are so easily deceived!

We'll sing songs about seeking God, seeking His face, seeking His presence. But then, do we? Really? Are we? Do we even find the time or feel compelled to bother to look at all for Him in His Book?

That "seek" word really just stood out to me this week. I've not been able to get it out of my head. I honestly just really want to be genuine, a serious seeker, one that truly seeks only my Savior. One that doesn't just seek Him in all of my day around me, but actually opens His Word to find Him there and see what He has to say in order to guide me, lead me, change me, transform me, renew me, restore me, redeem me, and refuel me.

What am I seeking?

Where am I seeking?

And in seeking my Savior, how often to I bother to seek Him in the book that He's written?

Oh, we're all seeking. We're all searching. What is it that you're looking for?


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