Chasing Salt Water Substitutes

The question was: "Tim, the guy on this video says that "We chase after 'salt water substitutes,' things we think will satisfy us but leave us more thirsty than we were before. Why do you think people, even people who believe in Jesus, who read their Bibles and go to church, do this?"

A guy at church had asked my husband if he would be interviewed to answer some questions in class on a Wednesday night? Tim emailed the questions to me and asked me how I'd answer? He called to tell me he'd sent them, to which I replied that they were his questions, not mine. BUT then.... I did have much to say in answers to the questions he sent. :) He knew I would. I'm a "sayer"... I couldn't help but "say"... so here's what I "said" in response to him:

Why do people, even people who believe in Jesus, who read their Bibles and go to church still so often chase after salt water substitutes instead of feeling filled by the Living Water?

Because, I said, rarely are people (Christians) actually FILLING UP on the Word! As a whole most might read it a little bit. Read it enough to say that they did. Or read it because they know that they're supposed to. But most of us are not spending enough time, reading enough, eating enough, filling up enough! And we, as people, like to be FULL! We're vessels, jars of clay, containers... we're made to contain. We're made to fill up! We're made to hold lots of something. And the emptiness inside seeks to be filled to the top. If we're not FULL of Jesus and what He's said (the Living Water, the Manna of His Word), then we're looking for something else to fill us until we're full. A little is never enough! We're seeking a fullness, a satiation, always! If you don't know what you're filled with... watch your spill! (i.e. If you're filled with anger, you'll spill mean. If you're filled with discontentment, you'll whine and complain. If you're filled with lust, you'll talk of your desires. If you're filled with bitterness, you'll be negative about everything.... etc.)

Jesus told us to "abide" in Him and He'll "abide" in us. But instead, we're abiding in television, or abiding in sports, or at the mall, or in gossip, or in jealousy, or in wants, or in an old hurt, or some sort of misery... you name it. We're all abiding somewhere... and what we talk about shows what we're filled with and where we've been abiding.

What are we feeding on? From out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. It's like a spiritual burp. People can smell from our words what we've been eating. It's simply so, whether we want it to be or not, whatever we've filled ourselves with eventually burps out.

I noticed this several years ago. I saw it first in other people and was so astounded by it that I took a closer look and noticed it also in me. There were certain people that I every time I got around them I knew exactly what they were going to say. I knew what their conversations would consist of, because it'd been the same conversation that they'd been having for years. It's then that I so very much noticed their filling, what they'd been feeding on, what they'd been eating. Try as we might to try to hide it, we can't help it, it shows in our talk.

Back to our lack of feeding on the manna of God's Word. I told Tim that sadly "Christians" (not all of them, but way too many) will maybe spend a few minutes, maybe 10? maybe 15? maybe 30 (on a good day) reading the Bible. I told him to try watching a good movie or reading a good book that way, just 10 or 15 minutes a day.. .and now and then skip a few days completely..., read or watch it like that and before too long, before you've watched very much of it at all, you'll soon be disinterested and won't finish the movie, you'll never finish the book. We lose interest, because it took too long. So knowing that, why do we think 10 minutes a day can suffice for our need and fill us up and equip us for the endurance we'll need for our day? Why do we think little bites, just nibbles, will fill us to full and thus, fill the feeling we need filled? Honestly, a bite only makes you hungry for more! A nibble will never be enough, it'll only have you searching more for something!

Here is another thing that I had never really noticed before and put together with "filling" us, or satiating our hunger, our "food" for the soul. In John 4 where it talks about Jesus stopping at the well in Samaria. He sits down there "tired" from His journey while His disciples go into the town to get some food. They come back after He has talked with the Samaritan woman about Living Water and when they try to urge Him to eat He tells them, "I have food to eat that you know nothing about." The disciples are wondering who could have brought Him some food when He says, "My food is to do the will of Him who sent Me and to finish His work."

Wow! "My food is to do the will of Him Who sent Me." His food was to do His Father's work. We're made to DO! We're made to serve! We're made to fill and then pour out and spend our lives for another. Kind of like what Jesus told Peter to do after he'd been sifted as wheat. He told him that when he comes back "to strengthen his brothers." Until we pour out into another one's life, we'll never be filled.... it's simply part of our "food"! Our problem is that we are too self-absorbed... and we're miserable! It's killing us! We're not turning around and spending our lives for somebody and something else living for the Savior and serving our Lord by ministering in all sorts and kinds of ways to His people and those that don't know Him!

To emphasis my above's point, one more thought before I'm done:

Sometimes it takes a fasting to have a filling. Isaiah 58 coins this perfectly! (Of course it does, it's God's Word!) Starting in verse 6, He says, "Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the cains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter - when you see the naked to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood? Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard. then you will call, and the LORD will answer; you will cry for help, and He will say 'Here I am.' If you do away with the yoke of oppression, with the pointing finger and malicious talk, and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday. The LORD will guide you always; He will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail..... If you keep your feet from breaking the Sabbath and from doing as you please on My holy day, if you call the Sabbath a delight and the LORD's holy day honorable and if you honor it by not going your own way and not doing as you please or speaking idle words, then you will find your joy in the LORD, and I will cause you to ride on the heights of the land and to feast on the inheritance of your father Jacob." The mouth of the LORD has spoken."

We need to let some things go, let some people off the hook, stop pointing the finger (no one has right to cast the first stone), and start helping someone else. Feast on the Word and then start sharing what we've learned. Fill up.. til FULL.. then spill out His goodness on others!

So... how much are you eating (reading, doing)? And how "full" are you?

Let's go get full... I'll meet you at the Fountain! And then, let's go and take some Water to someone else that's thirsty! It's a good filling.... and the only kind that can satisfy and fill us up to fullness! I want to be filled with the Spirit and full of my Savior!


P.S. Here's a similar post that talks about our fillings (Evidence proves that I've been on this spill for a very long time **smile**): How are your fillings?

A bad mood in the forecast!

Beep! Beep! Beep! The National Weather Service has issued a warning. There is a severe thunderstorm moving into the immediate area. An advisory is also for the surrounding areas. There have been numerous trees that have been blown over and powerlines down. Take cover! Use extreme caution. Stay inside. Get to an innermost room or under a sturdy surface or staircase. Forecasters say that the storm is capable of producing multiple tornados. Radar shows damaging hail and wind gusts of up to 72 miles per hour and possibly on the increase. 

Not that I wanted to. But all day I could see a bad mood in the forecast! I felt that I needed to send out an alert! And with my thinking, it made me think of how much damage a thunderstorm can do! Especially with the strong winds (the angered breath of one's words) and tornados (targeted fury) that it produces knocking down buildings and powerlines and wreaking disaster and leaving havoc in its wake. It's mean and ferocious! It doesn't care whose in its path or whose house it takes out. Not only that, one thunderstorm often has other storms break off from it causing more destruction in other areas too. Woe, at how contagious it is! Its power is destructive and mighty!

A storm isn't scheduled and doesn't ask if this is a good time. It doesn't require a good reason for coming. It comes uninvited and whether we want it to or not. It does what it wants to, there's no controlling it. Only God can turn it or Jesus peace and still it. But yes, just like then, Jesus can still speak to our storms and stop it completely in its tracks.

I felt like I was on the verge of becoming "a roaring lion seeking who I could devour." Horrors! For that is the description of the enemy, and I didn't want to adopt his trait and his spirit. I wanted, instead, to have the Spirit of my Father and show me as a child of His.

I kept telling God, "the joy of the Lord is my strength" in hopes that He'd send me some. The answer I felt from Him that kept resonating in my bones was that this time your strength will be found in some sleep.. for I have been extremely overloaded and sleep deprived!

A bad mood doesn't look good on anybody. It isn't pretty, doesn't act pretty, doesn't produce pretty, doesn't leave anyone else around it feeling pretty either. Shooo.... I felt the forecast, heard the warnings, and cried out to my Savior that once walked on water. What I can say is this... That when we cry out to Him, He's always faithful and always able. He's spoke to my storm, stilled the winds, and peaced my world! Oh, what a Savior we serve!

Dumb as dirt. Maybe Dumber!

Okay. This has come up so many times in my mind lately (today again too!) that I can no longer refrain myself. It seems I don't have a choice! I've got to stop and blog about it!

On the LPM blog Melissa had posted pictures from her mom's garden. She was asking us if any of us had one and the green thumb that comes with it? Goodness knows, I sure wish I did. Sadly, my thumb's black! Both of 'em! Every plant that's encased in my care soon withers to its death. It's equally as hard for me to care for the artificial kind! I wrote to her in reply to what she asked saying,

Well, to be quite honest, the only seed that I’ve been successful with sowing and God growing is the Seed of God’s Word! I’m like you, Melissa, I’m gifted in killing any plant that is purposed to grow! I hate that about me. But plants don’t want to come to my house! They won't live long. They'll soon have to be cast out!

BUT!

Let me share an example of God's miracle growth with His Seed in my soil! He's faithful to grow what every man can't! I'm living proof of the wonder of His!

On the day before my 40th birthday my husband came in our room to get into bed. I had every version of Bible and every kind of dictionary or lexicon or commentary you could find on it. I had to bring the bulldozer in to scoop it all off. As I was scooping I told him, “I wish I wasn’t so dumb. I wish that I was smarter than I am.”

His sweet response was, “You are smart.”

“No,” I said, “I’m not."

"You are smart."

"No," I said, "I'm definitely not. I should be smarter.”

"You are too smart," he said again.

"No," I responded once more, “I'm not. But that's okay, I'm okay with it. Right now I feel like if you looked at me all that you would see would be just a dirt field. Dirt. Dirt. Dirt. Everywhere you looked... Dirt. Nothing but dirt. Yet I am ferociously planting the Seed daily, and others are watering… and then, in His timing it’ll be the Spirit alone that will bring the increase!”

I not only told him, but I had it written for weeks all over my journal.

Next morning….. (birthday morning) was a Sunday morning. I checked my mail before church. I got a card from some random card company (mind you, no personal friend!, no one who knew me)…. after seeing it I was floored! Eyes widened huge as I turned to my husband and said, “Oh my goodness, I just got a birthday card from God!!!” After looking at it himself he was just as floored as I was and then said the same thing that I did, “Oh my goodness, you did! You just got a birthday card from God!"

It was an animated card and started with a picture of a plain field…. A farmer walked across the screen digging, digging, digging…. then walked back across the screen the other way digging some more. Then, he came back throwing the seed, throwing the seed, throwing the seed…….. both back and forth. Next time, he came with his water, watering the seed that he’d sown, watering, watering, watering, walking across one side of the screen, then back to the other…………. And then, it sprouted growth, a garden grew and then words popped up to tell me: Happy Birthday.

Woe! HUGE! It blew my mind! I’ll never forget it! And the thing of it is, God’s been so faithful! I still have so much to learn, but I’m smarter now in Him than just the dirt field that I used to be!

If you'll click this link you’ll see the card that this card company ‘just happened’ to send that I totally know-that-I-know-that-I-know actually came from God: Blooming Birthday.

I'll never be able to fathom His greatness or thank my Savior enough!

I used to talk to your picture

One of the girls was crying last night at the prison. I wondered what happened? I wondered if I should ask? I was told that she had been talking on the phone and was really upset. Her eyes were red and very swollen when she walked in.

I didn't get to talk to her until afterward. I hugged her big. And told her I was praying for her. She told me that she got a letter from her daughter for the very first time. Then, as she was pulling it out from her pocket she told me that she wanted to read me something.

Her daughter turned 16 in May. She hasn't seen her since she was a baby. She's been incarcerated for a very long time.

She had a three page letter filled on both the front and back in precise teenage print. Flipping back and forth from her excitement, she finally found the sentences she'd been looking for. It read, "I used to carry a picture of you everywhere I went when I was little. I always wanted to talk to you, but since you weren't there, I used to talk to your picture. I didn't know where you were. No one would tell me. But I used to tell your picture that when I turned sixteen I was going to go and find you and that no matter where you were, I'd bring you back home again."

She cried as she read it. I did too. And then she said with tears streaming from her eyes, "I've been a horrible mom!" I said, "Haven't we all in some way or another? That's why we have redemption!"

I'm so happy for her! Happy that after all these years she's finally heard from her girl. Happy for the excitement it brings. Happy... but sad too. Sad for the guilt she feels, because she has it. Sad that she wants to do something to make up for all that's happened, but she's stuck behind bars and can't get out to do it. God can still restore what's been broken, even while behind bars. But I know she wants to get her hands on her... and to have a daily relationship and encounter with her baby girl.... who, I'm sure, greatly needs her mother!

Wow, sin costs a lot... for a long time... for everybody! I hate it's deception and it's trap once you fall for it. Thank God for a Savior that's able to ransom, redeem, and restore it. Tonight, I'm praying for both this mom and her daughter... for God to do a mighty tapesty work of mending, and weaving a display of His Splendor on both of their canvases when done. And I'll thank Him too... for giving a renewed hope for two broken-hearted girls... and for a Savior that came to bind up those hearts that have been broken and to set free the captives.

Dear Tabor ~ A letter to that man-child of mine.

Dear Tabor,

Hey you cute thang!

What do I write to the only man-child of my life? Do you have any idea how special you are? How much you mean to me? How proud I am of you? How much I believe in you in all that God surely plans for you to do?

I prayed for a man-child… and God gave me you. And I’ve been smitten by that smile and charm of yours since the minute you entered this earth!

You’re such a sweet heart, Tabor Lee. You have such a tender heart toward people. Such a caring heart. A forgiving heart. A believing heart. An encouraging one. A pleasing one. One that wants and is willing to serve. So many people look up to you. You are such a leader. And that’s not just because of that charm you’ve got, that’s because it’s a gift that you’ve been given by our Creator.

Remember that picture of you walking with fishing pole in hand, tennis-shoed, shirtless, with jeans? As you know I cried the first time I saw it, because I saw your future in its symbolism. I KNOW that God (in however He wants and plans to do it) will make you into a fisherman of men. For Him, for His name sake, for His Kingdom, for His Glory. You can decide whether to follow Him or not…. but it’s already obvious that He has given you a heart that wants to. You may do things sometimes that you know you ought not do, but He always tells on you and turns you around from the wrong path that you started making steps toward. How good God of to do that! How blessed we are when He corrects us. He tells us He disciplines those He loves… and boy, I don’t know that God lets you get away with anything ((*smile*)). That, my dear child, is a compliment!!! May He never let you get away with anything… so that He can keep you close in the palm of His hand and in righteousness.

Life is hard. It’s so serious. There are so many decisions to make. A zillion daily. Each daring you to make the right one. Satan does his best to lure us with some many very tempting bait. You’re bigger than that, stronger than that, more courageous than that, better than that, and have a greater end planned than that. Don’t let the enemy snag you and trap you into a place that is almost impossible to get out of once gotten into. If not for God, then we’d all stay imprisoned to all the crazy things we fell for. God knows we’ll fall, that’s why He sent a Savior. But don’t ever stay there. Living in a pit is no kind of life to be living! Remember the verse that Buddy just spoke on not so many Sundays ago, “The prudent (the wise men) see danger and seek refuge, the simple (the foolish) keep on going and suffer for it.” Sin has its price… as well, as right does! Everything costs! But sins price is a whole lot harder in the end than the right is.

I love you! I’m proud of you! I have such hopes for you! And I cannot wait to see what God has planned for you! Indeed, He does have a purpose and plan and will for us. May you walk in His plan… and you will live the abundant supernatural Life that Jesus offers. Be a mighty warrior!!! And remember whose side of the war you’re on. Remember who and what you’re fighting for. Don’t forget that this life is a fight! Overcome evil with good. And always turn and help the wounded (or lost) warriors around you! This life’s a fight together. Be a hero in the eyes of the Lord. A man like David with a heart after God’s Own! Read God’s word like it was written to you personally… because it was! It is encouraging, inspiring, equipping, healing, and empowering. There’s no other thing like it in this world. And too, surround yourself by other Christians on fire for their God… so that your fire can burn hotter while you walk this earth.

I love you more than my life itself! May God blow your mind in the wonders of Him!

I love you, Tabor Lee!
Mom

My backdoor is locked... I miss my son!

Awww... I always leave the backdoor unlocked, for its the door of choice that my son choses to strut himself in through. He's a 17 year old heart-throb! A sweet heart! Dashing! And charming! A Mr Flattery King (he has me wrapped around his finger!)! Beautiful from the inside out! He left for California today for camp for two weeks along with his sweet baby sister, Sabrina. She's excited. Ecstatic! Besides herself. She's been on a countdown for weeks! He's less so. Unsure. Not necessarily unhappy, but not superbly super thrilled. As we left he told me, "I'm already missing my truck!" I knew he would be! He loves it!

We left home at 3 o'clock this morning to drive them two hours away to the airport. We didn't go to bed at all last night. It's 9:19 p.m. here right now... and bless their hearts, my babes are still traveling! I just texted them, they haven't gotten there yet. Two planes ride later and a car trip once landing on ground... makes for two very tired children.

I went to let the dogs out a few minutes ago. I came in... locking the door behind me... the door I don't usually lock until he walks in behind it! I couldn't help but think of him when I did. Like I said, I miss my son! And I'm already, too, missing girl! Who will both be fine and having fun without me. Thank You, Lord, for all of those blessings of mine!

Sixteen already???!!

My little girl turned 16 today...... how did this little thing grow up to be so big so fast? She makes me laugh so hard! And love more than I ever knew that I could! Happy Birthday, Sabrina, you're one of the dearest girls I know! Dear Lord, thank You for the wonders You've given me in the three babes You've let me borrow through birth! Each one's a treasure that I could not fathom, so precious, so darling, so stupendous, and so unique.

Dear Sabrina,

Now where do I start with the wonder of you? Wow, you were a SURPRISE!!!.. and a joy from the very beginning. My goodness, you were (and still ARE!) the cutest thing! With your dark hair and blue eyes and sweet chubby cheeks! At church, it didn't take long, you quickly became everybody's favorite! You not only made everybody that was around you laugh, but you had a gift for making them feel special. They all felt that they were the favored! Everyone told me how you liked them the most. The competition to was hilarious! And wildly, you had a super-special gift for making those without children (that desperately wanted children) feel special the most. It was the wildest thing! Remember Halo and Sandy… and then, Donna and George? They loved you for how much attention you gave them. They felt you were theirs! I loved how you loved them! Even Mark felt you felt him special. I so loved how you did that! I still do!  remember them talking to me, they would tell me that it’s like somehow you knew. And wildly (like I said), it seemed like you did!

I loved that even as a little-bitty girl you were content to play with others or content, too, to be all by yourself. You could entertain yourself perfectly for hours, when most children want to be entertained by somebody else or they’re miserable. No. Not you. Your creative little self would find something creative to do. It still does! You can get lost in your room with your thoughts and your stuff all day if you’ve got the time to…. working on something secretly. Simply happy in what you’re doing where you are.

Oh my goodness, remember bitiing that little girl's face at Mother's Day Out? Woe, she wore those teethmarks and that bruise for days! I was so hugely embarrassed! I've forgotten what she did that warranted the penalty, but horrors, her mom was none too thrilled about it! And I hated its constant reminder!

You used to always tell me you were going to have 10 babies and 10 swimming pools when you grew up. And every single new baby-doll we bought you, you named them all the same. Remember that? Every next doll you got, I'd asked you, "Sabrina, what are you going to name her?" And every single time you'd look around and think real hard and say (like you've never said before, yet everytime did), "I'm going to name her Sabby." I'd laugh and act all surprised! We had a gazillion Sabbys! And everyone preciously loved!

I love your creativeness... especially with make-up. WHO does that, but you??? Or your creativeness with any other thing that you put your mind to. Man, you've come up with some wild things! It makes me so wonder what you’ll be when you grow up? I admire you for never giving up when you struggled so hard with learning. I am amazed at how you did what you did when you couldn’t (for a long time) make the words make sense to you. My conclusion was how smart you are! Tremendously smart to have managed how you did for as long as you did! Wow! You just learned a different way of doing it, which proved a whole lot smarter in the long run. I admired your persistence in your struggle and not giving up, not letting it get you down (or at least not letting it make you stay there if it did).

And now, of all three of my children, you are my adventuress! You are always looking for an excursion, a creek to wade in, a lake to play in, a field to camp in, a mountain to climb, a cliff to jump from…. and now, a JEEP to take you to all of those places! Okay… the jeep was a bit of a detour, but it sooo seems to fit with the motif of all of your trails that you love to wander on. Sabrina, I soooo hope you get it!!! And my goodness, I can’t believe that it’s time to! Goodness, I can’t believe you’re already sixteen!

Remember (and of course you do) the night that you cried on my bed for so long because of your want to do right and your want for your friend to do right too? I so admired you for that! That takes more guts and more character than following the crowd does. Or simply not caring at all where they go and what they do. That’s hard. But that’s what Jesus is all about. I don’t know if there was a moment ever when I was more proud of you. Standing up for Jesus and standing firm in how He’s commanded us to live is sometimes the hardest thing in the world. But then, not really! For it’s the life that lives in rebellion that costs the most… it’s that live that will be the hardest in the long run. For it’s fun for a while, but then eventually the sin catches up with you and you’re so caught in its trap by then, and it’s already robbed so much of you that it seems that it’s impossible to get out of and turn your life around. Remember the enemy is deceitful. He’s good at making wrong look attractive, look fun, look harmless, look too irresistible to pass. Stay close to God and keep your life centered in Him and you’ll know when satan’s deception knocks.

I know God has great plans for you!!! We don’t always know what they are, but He does! Goodness, He knew while He was knitting you in my womb! What's wild is that He knew even  before then! He has a plan! He has a purpose! He has a will for your life! He created you and made you for a specific something! You have to keep seeking Him and asking Him and He will show it to you and equip and lead you there. He loves to stretch us from our Comfort Zone, but that’s so that we’ll rely on Him and not rely on our own power. Stepping out and doing what we know we can’t without Him is an adventure in itself and some of the funnest of things ever!

Which reminds me of the devotional you did for school. I was so proud of you in that! You’ve got such a great heart, Sabrina!! Such a tender one! I love how you love what people often think is unlovely. I love how you can make a lesson out of just about anything. I love when you write (you just need to start posting it!)!!! Wow, at what insight you have! I love your tenderness. And my, I love how hard you’re willing to work! I know you know this, but out of my three… who else works as hard as you’re willing to?

You’re one of my greatest treasures! You are absolutely beautiful… stunningly so… both inside and out! And I have never been more proud to call myself mom to the three sweetest children that I know of!

If you’ll follow the wisdom given in Proverbs 3:3-6, then your walk will be straight and you’ll live a blast of a life with our Lord, “Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of the God and man. Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in ALL your ways acknowledge Him (ask Him), and He will make your paths straight.” ….. Another version says of that last part, “Seek His will in ALL you do, and He will show you which path to take.”

May you LOVE God more than any other thing always for all of your life and may you live being a Great Display of your Lord's Splendor!!! Show Him loud! Show Him bright! And help to light the pathway for others!

I love you, Sabrina Wynn Lee,
more than words can say...
more than all of this earth and everything in it!
I’ll love you for always and all ways and forever!
I thank God so very much for you!
Mom

Some things are just too big to tell

That's the way I feel about most of my life right now... a whole lot of it is just plain out too big to tell. God has been rocking our world! Out-doing Himself! Showing up everywhere! Speaking in everything! Thrilling us at every turn! My husband's ecstatic. My oldest daughter is so soaring on Cloud God! I'm whoa-ing in wonder. And my youngest two are about to embark in their own two week "set-apart" adventure seeking Him at a camp that's totally all focused on and consumed in Jesus. How can I thank Him enough for all that He's doing in our worlds?!

It's God-this and God-that all over the place at my house. We're all scambling on top of everyone else's conversations wanting to share the next thing He's done in our moment. I love it! I've never had such fun!

God is especially wow-ing my oldest daughter. She can't fathom His goodness... nor His fun! He's going over and beyond in His woo-ing her and showing her His favor. She can barely ask Him a question or tell Him what she wants before He's answering her already and giving her what she's asked for. She wrote to me during the sermon on Sunday telling me that He was trying to be too cute, for the preacher was saying to her again all that God has already been saying!

She was at a friend's house last night, her and another girl, sharing the awe of their Lord together. I kept texting her from hour to hour wondering when she'd come home. She was basking at 12... and basking at 1.. and basking at 2... and still basking at 3... and then finally at 4 she texted me saying this, "I'm spending the night! God is sooooooo cool! I'm so happy, I was textin Justin and he said, "Are you drunk" I said,, "my cup is overflowing with Him".. he didn't get it. haha. I've turned into YOU! Scary!" 

I laughed and texted her back, "Oh good. Glad you're enjoying God's splendor. night. I love you. God is the God of wonder and miracles. I've told you a thousand times that He is the funnest thing I know. My biggest thrill daily. Who can explain it unless you know? Talk about drunk, God told us not to be drunk on wine, but to be FILLED with the Holy Spirit. Love your fullness to overflowing and your drunkness on Him!"

Can you tell we're having a feast of our Savior at my house? Loving our Lord out loud together. Gapping about the Goodness of God. And seriously basking in His wonder, wanting to share Him, wanting to show Him, wanting to serve Him because of His mercy and grace and the kindness He pours so laviously on us!

Dreaming of the vehicle she'll drive!

Tomorrow is my daughter's 16th birthday! Woe, is she ever excited! I'm not so old that I don't remember when..... I soooo remember.... I soooo know the feeling!

She's not only dreaming of driving... but dreaming of vehicles, a car of her own... perferably a pink Jeep Wrangler! Hey, that would do! But so would a white one, or black, or purple, or blue! :) Awww.... the dreams that we dream... and the fun that we have while dreaming them!

Wildly, forgetting that I'd written this, I ran across a prayer that I'd written last year on the eve of my son's 16th birthday. I loved it. How fitting. I thought I'd share. I can't believe where all God has taken me since!

May 12, 2009

Ah Heavenly Father,

Today is my baby boy's last day E-V-E-R  to be 15. Tomorrow is his 16th birthday. And he is so excited!!! A bit disappointed too, I suppose, though trying hard not to be. He's boiling over with enthusiam at soon being able to drive on his own... but woe, does he ever wants some wheels of his own to call "his" alone to drive! Oh wow, Lord, You have (again!) been teaching me a lot about vehicles (jars of clay, vessels, tents, tabernacles... You're just needing and wanting willing vehicles to ride in on) while he searches and longs and dreams of something similar. It's made me see the "vehicle" You've made in me!

I wonder if sometimes You're disappointed in mine? Glad, maybe for the studying (the fueling) and preparing... but saddened that I have happily "parked" this vehicle of Yours in my bedroom day after day after day and have kept it there. Woe! Do You long to get behind my "will" to drive me where You "will" for me to go in order to do what You want to do? Surely You have fueled me (filled me!) to go!.... Ugh, do You wonder though now why I still sit?

Huge, Lord! That's huge! I do hear You talking to me. Talk on, dear Lord, and open my heart and my mind, as well as my eyes to see and my ears to hear. Move me!! Help me to be willing to go... and to do what You want me to do... whatever and wherever that is!.. and when!.....

Man, that was a little over a year ago when I wrote that, as I sat in my room most of my days studying. Who knew then where He'd have me now in the midst of a half a dozen prisons?... and the list growing to more quite rapidly? I guess when You tell God that you're willing to be moved that it doesn't take Him long to rev-up your engine. It seems that we've been burning up the roads every since... even while I'd forgotten that I told Him I'd go. :)

Ah, dear Lord, rev-up the engines of my own kids. Fire them up, fuel them to go, and send them out into the world to reveal Your Glory! To shine Your Light! To carry another! To do the work that the Father is still working to get done! Fill them with Your Spirit, God, fill them to FULL... so that they won't be empty and seeking another lesser false filling. As You rode into Jerusalem, Jesus, on a donkey to do what You came that Your Father sent You to do... ride inside me, and my husband, and those babes of mine... continuing what Your Father wants done with and inside all of us! Jesus, take the "will"...........!!!!!!!!

P.S. By the way, my son did get his vehicle :)... But my daughter is still waiting on hers.

Speaking of loving my girls!!!!

I do love my inmates group. BUT! There are two girls that I especially love and adore the absolute most! They belong to me! They're mine... or at least loaned to me from God for a time! One's been living with me for 19 years. The other for soon to be 16. Both were birthed from my own body. They're different, but in so many ways the spitting image of their mother! Both as crazy as they come! Both super kind-hearted! Both like to laugh and talk a lot! Both seekers of good-times. The youngest is my Go-Go Girl... for she lives for go-ing! The oldest right now is flipping on fire for the awe and wonder of her Savior! They both are treasured blessings that love and seek to know God, wanting to live to honor and serve Him! I am so proud of them!!! With those two, plus my man and my man-child, I feel like the most blessed person I know!

Loving my girls!

I have MISSED my girls this week! Wait! What am I talking about "missed"? As if it's past tense. Done and now finished. No! I miss 'em now! Then! This very moment! And still! My PWHD group of girls! We've had an off week... and wow, it's been long! Who would have known I'd become so attached to that bunch?!

Last week we had a graduation for our Montgomery group. They have labored and toiled and stuck it out and homeworked and tested and finished a rigorous two-year program. I was so stupendously proud of them at their graduation that I didn't know what to do! We had the best party eva! (inside prison bars, that is!) with pizza and parents and certificates! The officers finally had to run those of us that didn't belong "in" out, because we went overtime and evidently overstayed our welcome. We weren't ready to leave! And then, because of the sweetness of the whole thing, I cried the whole way on my way home! In case I haven't said it before, I love those girls and feel it my honor to serve them!!!!

I told them when I got there that I was tempted to wear my jammies in and ask the warden if we could have a spend-the-night party? The girls laughed at my ridiculousness... but somehow I didn't figure the warden would find the humor in it. Sometimes it's better to keep-thou-mouth-zipped and not share everything that you're thinking. But seriously, honestly, I would have done it if I could have. And upon saying so, I suppose I should also say that it'd be easier and funner to spend a night knowing that I didn't have an endless amount of days and months and years in there, and knowing I'd be able to leave in the morning at my will and when I wanted! Oh well, I would have brought them all home with me and had a spend-over here if I could have... my kids would have loved it and had a blast... my husband would have thought I was crazy and laughed. Can you even imagine the moment???

Toward the end of the party the girls were thoroughly enjoying all of the pictures that our own Mr. Brothers was taking. They posed this way and that, giggling all the way through. At one point I told them, "Hey, let's do Charlie's Angels....".... But OOPS! When I went to strike the pose with hands glasped into a pistol like motion, I rethought the thought quickly. I laughed and told them, "Nevermind! You can strike that! I doubt that's a very good idea in here." You should have seen them laughing! It was a priceless non-Kodak moment!!! Perhaps we shouldn't have laughed? But sometimes... it's just good to!

Being that we're finished with our program and soon to restart a new one with a whole new bunch of inmates, I was horrified in the middle of the night one night realizing that we're about to lose our group, the one I've come to love so, the one I'm so very much attached to, the ones I can't imagine not being there when I go. Thankfully, we're extending their studies if they're interested. Though they're proud themselves for their accomplishment, they seem reluctant for it to end too. You've gotta love 'em! Who could help to? 

God, use those girls for the Light of Your Glory! Both inside while they're still there... and when they get out!

If I love their smiles, and if I love their hearts and their faces, just think of what our Savior feels as He loves them way more than I ever could!
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On the road again....

I found my today's reading in scripture very fitting after my previous post. The bulk of my day today was spent in the first chapter of Ruth. And of all of the twenty-two verses, it was the seventh one that captured my attention the most and held it. I will refrain from attempting to write all of where it took me, but I did want to at least stop there a few minutes to share with you some of where I've been.

Naomi, in this verse, is headed back to the land she had earlier left (Bethlehem) after going to a land that an Israelite was told never to go to (Moab). She's finally headed home, but not after heartache and carrying a burden of bitterness. Verse 7 says of her, "... she [Naomi] left the place where she had been living and set out on the road that would take them back to the land of Judah."

Judah?

I love that...Judah....  because of what it represents because of its Hebrew meaning: praise. Naomi (as have I) left the place where she had been living and set out (even while still embittered) on the road that would take her back to the land of "praise."

The KJV words it, "Wherefore she went forth out of the place where she was...; and they went on the way to return unto the land of Judah."

She went out of the place where she was! I have too! What "place" are you?

Naomi was leaving a place that she was never intended by God to go. I've been there. To that unintended-warned-against place. And I went there for the same reasons that Naomi did, because there was a "famine" / a hunger / a lack / a wanting / an unsatisfied-satiation in my soul.

I looked up the meaning for "where she had been living" and found it to be the Hebrew word maqowm. A word meaing place, just like it said. Place, locality, spot, room, distance, direction, withersoever. Looking up those words help me to see and to understand it even better. I am thrilled to now have left the place, the spot, the room, the distance, the direction that I was in to go back to my land of living in the house of Bread (Bethlehem) to that land of praise. 


I especially like the visual of my withersoever! Ugh! I've been in a withersoever. Been miserable in my withersoever. Wallowed in my withersoever. Almost withered in my withersoever. And wondered how (and why!) I ever ended up in a withersoever in the first place? What was its attraction that lured me? Why did I fall for it? What was its power that drew me to it and stayed me there once I arrived at a withersoever far from my home and far from the place that I ought to be? A withersoever is NOT where I belonged, nor where my Savior willed me to be.

How good it feels to have gotten back on the road, the way, the path, the journey, the direction, the manner, the habit, the course that took me back to the land of my praise! Psalm 107 sings my heart now." Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever. Let the redeemed of the Lord say this....."... I've been redeemed, and so I now "say"... and now thankfully live to continue my "say"ing......

Twelve years.. is a very long time!

I was reading today in Genesis which brought me to a scripture that had stunned and stopped me before. Today, again, I stopped and just starred... reading it again and again... because I was once the "they" that was talked about in the words I read. Gen 14:4 tells us that, "For twelve years they had been subject to...., but in the thirteenth year they rebelled."

The KJV says, For "twelve years they served..."

Woe!

Sadly, I understand the statement. I've been the subjected one in the verse! I've worn the shoes, worn the t-shirt, and was shackled under the rule of my king (my god, my idol) that I served for twelve stinking years myself!

What keeps us locked up for so long? Why do we stay under such bondage? Why do we settle enslaved to our enemy? Why do we let evil rob us of years of our lives? Why keep serving, submitting, staying subjected to, sacrificing to something so stupid? Satan came to steal, kill, and destroy. Jesus came to give Life. Why do we often chose to live in the "came" of our enemy instead of our Savior's?

"BUT!"

Don't you sometimes just love the "but"s in life... especially in Bible stories and real lives lived when God intervenes! I may have stupidly and foolishly and repulsively served and stayed subjected to something for twelve years.... BUT!!! Finally "in the thirteenth year", I rebelled! How I love God for never giving up! For never forsaking those who forsake Him! For His enduring love, despite our rebellion! For that enduring love of His, that never fails!

For "neither death nor life neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Rom 8:37-39). Sometimes I wonder how He can stand us? But then again, it's because of us that Jesus came to overcome all of the trouble that we can get into in the first place! It's His whole purpose! It's WHY He came!

I love that about Him! That He died for us while we were still in our sin, while we persecuted and mocked Him, and refused the salvation that He came to give. I love that He forgives and washes our sin as white as snow, removes it as far as the east is from the west, throws it into the deepest part of the sea... and that He remembers our sins no more..... and yet, redeems our very sin to use as our witness of Him and all His done and our testimony and ministry!

Perhaps there's is a couple of "but God"s that I should close this post with... for Satan may have meant to use my past against me, but God works everything out for good for those that love Him (Rom 8:28) and here's a "but God" that I can live in: "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives" (Gen 50:20).

"Come and listen, all you who fear God; let me tell you what He has done for me. I cried out to Him with my mouth; His praise was on my tongue. If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened; but God has surely listened and heard my voice in prayer. Praise be to God, who has not rejected my prayer or withheld His love from me!" (Ps 66:16-20).

"No man can redeem the life of another... BUT GOD will redeem my life from the grave; He will surely take me to Himself..." (Ps 49:7a,15).

He can and He does and He will and He has! Thankfully there is no thing our God can't or is unwilling to redeem!

I love my Lord and all of His "but God"s!

The ultimate compliment E~V~E~R!

I spent four hours with a friend of mine on Friday. She's a lot younger than me. We don't get together as often as we'd like, but every time we do we spend it in volume. We'll meet for coffee.... or lunch..... and even at wedding rehearsals and fittings ((**smile**))... and before we realize that so much time has passed, it'll be 5 or so hours and we'll force ourselves to leave.

I was in her wedding. I was at her home at the birth of her baby (talk about precious moments!). I first met her several years ago in a Wednesday Bible class that I was teaching. Funny, she didn't know then that we'd become such friends. I evidently didn't give her a great very first impression..... though before the hour was done, she told me she was spell-bound. Our friendship grew.. and we've been friends every since.

Talking about first impressions, let me share hers. I didn't realize how she really felt at first, I found out at her wedding. I thought that I had long past the age for being "in" weddings, yet surprisingly, I was her 'matron of honor'. Man, just the title made me feel old! And then me in my 46 year old skin standing next to a bride with skin 20 years younger than mine, who would have thought it? It felt wild, but what an honor it was! To fully appreciate it, you would have to know the girl. She is so spiritually mature for her young age, so intuned to God. So conscious of Him, so aware of Him, so wanting to live for and to please Him.

At the reception, Aca (the bride) made my husband tear up. Her words had him undone enough that he excused himself to go to the men's room. He had asked her about how we met. He knew that she was in my bible class, but he was asking her questions about how she came to be in the class in the first place and how she got to Landmark (the church we attend) to begin with. Did she come with a friend, he wondered? Did someone invite her? Had she been there before? I knew that that's where we'd met, but it wasn't until she told the rest of the story that I realized that I didn't know the full one.

She said to him, "No, to all the above." And then proceeded to tell him that every time she drove past Landmark she felt very drawn to the place. She said that she would even start crying, she had such an incredible pull that it was overwhelming. But she had heard too many people tell her things about the "church of Christ" and she was afraid that if she went she would get sucked into their "cult." Finally, she said, she was just so thirsty, she had such a need for something more, that she grabbed a friend one Wednesday night and told her that we're going to Landmark tonight. They saw a list of classes hanging in the foyer when they got there, yet not knowing which class that they should go to Aca covered her eyes with one hand and pointed to the board with the other. Her finger landed on my name. So, they took that as their sign and that's where they went.

They were early and so sat on the very front row. They were excited and talking ninety-to-nothing, not realizing the class was filling up. "And then," she told my husband, "Mrs. Sharon walks in with her flowery shirt, jeans, and some high-heeled tennis shoes and I thought, Oh great, Barbie!" She said that her and her friend looked at each other and tried to figure out a way to leave. Her time is too important to waste, she said, and she couldn't imagine that Barbie would have anything of any substance at all to say. But... they were in the front of the room, it would be too obvious if they walked out, they felt trapped; and though they didn't like the idea, out of curtesy, they ended up staying anyway. She told him that from the minute I started talking she was entranced... spellbound. "It was like she was just pouring living water into me to fill my thirsty soul." She said, it reminded her of the song, "O soul, are you weary and troubled? No light in the darkness you see? There's light for a look at the Savior, and life more abundant and free! Turn your eyes upon Jesus, Look full in His wonderful face, And the things of earth will grow strangely dim, In the light of His glory and grace..."

Wow!

Like I said, even I didn't know all of that until then. It's amazing how God connects different lives to one another in the wildest of ways and makes them stick regardless if we first think that they will... all for His reasons... for His purposes... for something more than we realize in things we often can't see. Who would have known then that we would end up friends as we are?

Though that was a huge compliment, it wasn't the ultimate! The ultimate didn't come until the end of our visit on Friday.

We'd spent a fabulous several hours together. I was hugging her bye. She was thanking me for coming. She told me that she had needed this. She told me that she had other close friends that she spends lots of time with, but our friendship is different. Our friendship is all about God and building each other up in Him. She said, "You know, I was thinking earlier, that I really don't know anything about you. I don't know your favorite color. I don't know your favorite things to eat. I don't know your favorite restaurant. Or what is your favorite things to do. I don't know what most friends know about each other. The only thing I know about you is God."

Wow! I thought a lot about what she said since I left. What a compliment and one I want to continue to live! Not that the other matters aren't fun things to know. But when I leave this earth after God's called me Home... the only footprints I want left are His... not my own!

fire WORKS!

I was reading a post from a fellow blogger who's saddened by the loss of a "light that went out"... for some lights seem to go out too soon. It reminded me of something I wrote once. So I decided to post this in the honor of a "light" that I never knew.

I was reading. Tim wasn't home. Prissy and Brooke were Internet-ting Online. The other two kids were at Granny's. As I read, I kept hearing a booming sound outside and couldn't figure out what in the world it was. I kept reading and kept hearing, kept reading and kept hearing, reading…. it continued in this cycle until I finally recognized the boom! Bolting, I ran toward the door yelling to my girls on my way, "Fireworks, girls! There's fireworks outside!"

The girls came, but only stayed for a peek. Their interest had already been captured and snared by a 15 inch boxed screen. The world's on fire outside, with a display of splendor, and they trade its wonder instead for their tranced-fascination to a box. So, I sat outside alone, yet not really, for I talked a storm with my Father out there! I watched the display of lights, and then, one long firework seemed to catch my attention. It soared higher than the others before it burst into its array of grandeur. This was when HE spoke to me there, and made me shake from within. I came in and wrote to my Lord in my journal:

Oh Dear Lord,

As I was studying Your Word I heard the sound of fireworks and I ran outside to watch their display. I talked to You there as I did. Sitting there all by myself... with YOU! After watching a few I zeroed in and watched one lone firework do its thing. I watched it do what it was created and planned and purposed to do at its making and its "hope" (anxious expectation!) from the one that created it, and also for the one who lit a fire to its tail, and for all of those gathered to watch. I watched the long trail of its blaze as it soared to its heights in the sky… it climbed higher than the others. I watched a long trail of a single light climb higher and higher and higher… and then, I watched its lone light burst into millions! The magnitude of what I saw frightened me… for I pictured it as "us" and what YOU plan for us to be and to do!

Our lights are lit to be the Light of Christ…. and as we study and learn and come to Your throne in praise and prayer and hear Your Word, we soar to great heights as You draw us closer to You. And then, when we are ready - as You have purposed and planned and waited with anxious expectation: Your "hope" of what You created us to be, we burst from the fire of Your Light lit within us, we explode with its Brilliance, and we light many more lights throughout the whole earth as we tell people of You. Sometimes, one at a time. One torch, one soul, lit up for Jesus can explode into millions. One tells one or two or three or more..… and one or two or three or more tells another one or two or three or more…... and those ones and twos and threes and mores in turn do the same…. for generations and generations and generations! Until multitudes are birthed and blazing in Jesus and another Light has been lit to pass on. Too many to count. Too many to number. After all, isn't that how Abraham started? As one… then two…. then three…. then more……… and now, how many is its number?

That one particular one (that took longer to explode captured my attention), it climbed higher than the others and blazed with a long trail before his blasts lit up the sky with thousands of tiny lights. I thought: It takes some longer than others, doesn't it, Lord? Me? Me? Is that what You're telling me? Yet still, in my loneness, You draw me closer to You!!!!

I noticed, too, as with the firework show, before the light completely fades from one that there is already another light birthed and shot out from behind it before all those lights were completely snuffed out. I liked that! I thought and wondered at all of the firework blazes that came before me that You've used to light the flames within my soul ....... Abraham… Isaac… Jacob… Joseph… Moses… Joshua… Elijah… King David... Isaiah... Jeremiah…. Ezekiel(!)… Matthew… Mark… Luke… John… Peter… Paul… Charles Spurgeon…. Oswald Chambers…. Jim Elliot… Granddaddy…. Beth Moore… Kay Arthur… Jill Briscoe… Julie Courson… Jeannie Allen... Bridget Smith....!!!! Torches in my world along with so many others!... flaming the fire within me!!! Lighting fires all over the world! As one, turns two, and two turns three…. and three and four and five… until they turns into millions! Whoa, at such fire!

At first, I was saddened at how quickly they faded and the lights went out. They all went out! That bothered me horribly! I thought: they don't stay lit. Why, Lord? I hated that picture. It was only moments before I felt so clearly that You said to me, "Their lights do not go out, Sharon, I just took them Home!… and their lights (My Light) still blaze behind them, lit inside another's soul!!!!!" Whoa! That's Good!!!! I could not help but grin at that thought! I felt You said to me, "I always replace their lights by others behind them... the fire, the Light NEVER goes out completely (Lev 6:13)! There is always a new light being born for the generation that's coming." And I sat there watching the sky light up ... by one… and then another... and then another… and then another…. Until! the grand finale of it all, of when You'll bring 'em (us!) all Home!

I want to light torches, Lord! I want the fire inside me to so explode that I can be used as a tool of Yours to light the multitudes and keep the flames burning! I want to tell them! I want to help people see Jesus! Fire works, Lord! It's blaze is contagious! Continue to take me to the heights! Draw me closer and closer to You, and show me more of Your Glory! … And when Your timing is right and my season has come, let me, like the Spring that comes after the Fall explode with Your Glory... and light fires inside the hearts of the multitudes... so that they in turn can light a multitude of lights inside a  multitude of others!!!!!

I love You, Lord! And I want others to see the magnitude and glory of You. You are Wonder-FULL who fills with so much wonder! May I be one used as a Display of Your Splendor! Draw me to You... while drawing others too!

In Jesus Who IS the Light!
Amen

January 15, 2007

Wanting to say with lips sealed!

I was trying to work on something else, but kept thinking about this as I did. So I finally gave up that, to do this; so that perhaps when done I could actually get back to what I was working on. (Were you able to follow all that?)

I know that a teacher loves to teach. Being that last night was Wednesday night and my teaching quarter was finished five weeks ago I am missing my not being able to teach on a night that I normally would.

Although it truly scares me how to death, it's in my bones... and I miss it when I'm not doing what burns inside my bones to do! I feel so full of Him that I can't help but want to share it! Both Job 32:17-20 and Jeremiah 20:9 say what my heart feels better than I ever could. It says, "I too will have my say; I too will tell what I know. For I am full of words, and the spirit within me compels me; inside I am like bottled up wine, like new wineskins ready to burst. I MUST speak and find relief; I MUST open my lips and reply."... "But if I say, "I will not mention Him or speak any more in His name," His word is like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones, I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot!"

These scriptures seem to perfectly paint the picture of my feelings. Truly, it's in my bones! I feel like I'll burst if I don't find relief! I need a place to say what I've been filled with! I do still teach in two prisons... but sometimes it doesn't seem room enough for enough said! :)

Thinking of all that I couldn't help but remember God making Ezekiel's "tongue stick to the roof of his mouth" so that he would be silent until God wanted something said. Granted He was keeping Ezekiel from being able to rebuke the rebellious people, but surely there can be a myriad of other reasons for sticking a man's tongue to the roof of his mouth to keep him silent for a time? So here I sit in my part of the world with my tongue currently stuck to my mouth's roof. And knowing that it's not necessarily a bad thing if it's God that's stuck it there for His reasons. You know?

So.

I am trying to have joy in my stuckness. That is until God deems it unsticked. And I pray that that's the only likeness that I'll share with our friend, Ezekiel. For who wants to yell at a city drawing that you've made and built siege ramps up to as if taunting it into war, while lying tied up beside it for 390 + 40 more days.... though being spared from having to use "human excrement for fuel" to cook your food off of? Just thought I'd remind myself of all that, because matters could be worse, you know?

Hmmm... in my weirdness, can you tell that I'm dying to "say"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE God's Word!!!!... and now I live to tell about it! :)