The word comes....

    "And the word of the Lord came to"...____ Abraham.... Moses.... Samuel.... Nathan.... David.... Solomon.... Elijah.... Isaiah..... Jeremiah.... Ezekial.... Hosea..... Joel...... Jonah.... Micah..... Zephaniah..... Haggai.... Zechariah...." and on and on and on and on and on... until "the Word" of the Lord "became flesh"!!!

     You know my thinking, "the word of the Lord" STILL COMES!!!!! I love that! The Word of the Lord still comes!!!!!

     And so does the "time come" still to accomplish the word that was sent. I love that just as surely as the "word comes" so does "the time"!!!! God just SAYS... and it IS! "For He spoke, and it came to be" (Ps 33:9). The word of the Lord still comes.

      Often it "came" directly to a person, and often it "came" through others. I, indeed, feel that as I sought His Word this morning that "the word of the Lord came" to me today.

"We, however, will not boast beyond proper limits,

but will confine our boasting to the field God has assigned to us,

a field that reaches even to you" [and in my case, to those in the prisons]

2 Cor 10:13

The KJV says it this way (with the words defined from the Greek word's definition in brown):

"But we will not boast (to glory on account of a thing)

of things without measure (beyond measure),

but according to the measure (the determined extent, the portion measured off, our measure or limit)

 of the rule (a measuring rod, a carpenter's line or measuring tape, a definitely bounded or fixed space within the limits of which one's power of influence is confined)

which God hath distributed (divided, separated into parts, cut into pieces, distributed, bestowed, imparted... a part due or assigned to one, lot, destiny) to us,

a measure (the determined extent, the portion measured off, our measure or limit)

to reach (to stretch out; to touch or grasp by extending a part of the body (as a hand), to extend to) even unto you."

    Whoa! For do you see what it's saying? Even in the Old Testament times God distributed the land by lot to the twelve tribes of Israel as He Himself alloted it.... as He Himself determined it... as He measured it... and divided it.... and imparted it... and bestowed it... and assigned it to "each" one as He purposed. It is HE that measures His determined extent for us. It is He that measures the portion of fields that He's assigned us. It is He that gives us our measure and the limit that He Himself has already determined for each one of us in the work that we are to do. So that we can "reach".. stretch out and touch or grasp by extending a part of our body (like our hand... and our heart...) even unto all the ones that He's meant and planned and purposed and hoped and willed for us to. Jesus Christ, "the Word that became flesh" (this time in me, and this time in you!) still "being about His Father's business!"

"In Him, we were also chosen,

having been predestined according to the plan of Him that works out everything

in conformity with the purpose of His will,

in order that we.. might be for the praise of His Glory.

For we are God's workmanship,

created in Christ Jesus to do good works,

which God prepared in advance for us to do.

I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened

in order that you may know the hope to which He has called you.

He made every nation of men... and He determined the times set for them

and the exact places where they should live.

The word of the Lord came to me saying,

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,

before you were born I set you apart;

I appointed you..."

"Ah, Sovereign Lord," I said, "I do not know how..; I am only a child."

But the Lord said to me, "Do not say, "I am only a child."

You must go to everyone I send you to...For I know the plans I have for you..."

We have different gifts, according to the grace given us.

For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for [those in the prisons that I'm granted to go to] will arise from another place..

And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this? 

I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send?

And who will go for us?"

And I said, "Here am I. Send me!"

I became a servant... by the gift of God's grace given me through the working of His power.

Although I am the less than the least of all God's people, this grace was given me:

to preach to the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ."

"See to it that you complete the work you have received in the Lord.

.. (in) the field God (that) has assigned to (you),

a field that reaches even to [again, those that I'm sent to behind the bars of a prison]."

Eph 1:11,12; 2:10; 1:18; Acts 17:26; Jer 1:4-7; 29:11; Est 4:14; Rom 12:6; Isa. 6:8; Eph 3:8; Mark 13:33-34; Col 4:17; 2 Cor 10:13

Shall I just say, hmmm.... tired!

It's been a ferociously busy week this week. Full from the start. With each day starting way way way before dawn! Needless to say, I feel I've forgotten what sleep is...... It seems a rare jewel that I'm searching deligently for and craving greatly!

Nothing profoundly wonderful to say. Just that life is good, because God is...... and I'm really really tired.

Here's what's hard...

It's knowing that God can, believing He will, and then He doesn't that's so confusing and so hurts our feelings.

His ways are not our ways.... but He's always right, He always knows best, and His ways are always good.

I told God on Friday that I don't know many people that don't believe that He can, that don't think He's able to do the impossible. I told Him that it's not that people believe You can't, most people believe You can, Lord; it's just that most people don't believe that You will.

We're told that the faith the size of a mustard seed can move mountains... and to be honest, the way I see it is that if you're praying, then you already have at least mustard-sized faith. And it's not like God measures the faith that you have and when you come short He says, "Oops. Can't do it. It doesn't measure up. It's not quite enough." All God really requires is the smallest of faith... not a certain measure.

I think we often get that mixed up. I feel too often that we think that if something didn't happen that we prayed for, that we blame ourselves for not having the 'enough' faith that it took.

Can I be bold a minute? Can I be rawfully honest?

It's verses like these that get me....

“What do you mean, ‘If I can’?” Jesus asked. “Anything is possible if a person believes.” - Mark 9:23.

"When He came down from the mountainside, large crowds followed Him. A man with leprosy came and knelt before Him and said, "Lord, if You are willing, You can make me clean." Jesus reached out His hand and touched the man. "I am willing," He said. "Be clean!" Immediately He was cured of his leprosy" (Matt 8:1-3).

"As Jesus went on from there, two blind men followed Him, calling out, "Have mercy on us, Son of David!" When He had gone indoors, the blind men came to Him, and He asked them, "Do you believe that I am able to do this?" "Yes, Lord," they replied. Then He touched their eyes and said, "According to your faith will it be done to you;" and their sight was restored" (Matt 9:27-30).

"Jesus replied, "I tell you the truth, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to that fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and it will be done. If you believe, you will received whatever you ask for in prayer" (Matt 21:21-22).

""Have faith in God," Jesus answered. "I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours" (Mark 11:22-24).

""Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned. And these signs will accompany those who believe: In My name they will drive out demons; they will speak in tongues; they will pick up snakes with their hands; and when they drink poison, it will not hurt them at all; they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well" (Mark 16:16-18).

"While Jesus was still speaking, someone came from the house of Jairus, the synagogue ruler. "Your daughter is dead," he said. "Don't bother the teacher anymore." Hearing this, Jesus said to Jairus, "Don't be afraid; just believe, and she will be healed." (Luke 8:49-50).

Jesus wasn't impressed with those that were seeking a miraculous sign for Him in order for them to believe, so I know that it is not right in that. So, it's not the miracles I seek in order to believe... for I already believe... but it's things that He said like this that makes me wonder what I'm missing in Him?

"Believe Me when I say that I am in the Father and the Father is in Me; or at least believe on the evidence of the miracles themselves. I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in Me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. And I will do whatever you ask in My name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. You may ask Me for anything in My name, and I will do it."....... "I tell you the truth, My Father will give you whatever you ask in My name. Until now you have not asked for anything in My name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete..." (John 14:11-14,23-24).

What about the story of not only Peter walking on the water... but what Jesus did when they got to the other side of the lake?

When Peter "saw the wind" against him he began to sink.... Woe, watch where you're looking! Never take your eyes off your Savior!

‎"You of little faith," Jesus said to Peter, "why did you doubt?" Hmm... indeed! And then, when knowing all of that, why do we?

"When they crossed over, they landed at Gennesaret. And when they men of that place recoginized Jesus, they sent word to all the surrounding country. People brought all their sick to Him AND BEGGED HIM to let the sick just touch the edge of His cloak, and ALL who touched Him were healed." ~~~ l LOVE THAT!

So the other day with Faith... so many of us were grabbing at the hem of His garment and hanging on to it for all that it's worth hoping and begging for a healing.... although God chose her healing to be in Heaven instead of here.... and though we know that that is best, sometimes still that's hard to hold.

Now... even while saying all that I've said... and still not understanding all that I don't... this I still know. (As I said earlier) God's ways are not our ways. God always knows best. And God's ways are always good. It's not this life that we're living for, but we're striving for the next one. And dare we forget what Jesus said to us after John the Baptist didn't understand what was going on in his world, "Bless are those who are not offended in Me." Basically, there are some things we don't understand... but I chose to trust Him anyway. I know He knows... even when I don't. I know His purpose and plan is still being worked out.

Wildly, God has done more in that little 7-year olds life than most people who live a full lifetime! He has done more through her without any effort on her own than we could ever imagine. Therein... lies the miracle! Therein we have MUCH to be thankful!

"The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised" (Job 1:21).

(Another "hard" while still knowing God's good: The Lightning Took Him Home)

Speechless

... Earlier today Faith left this home to go to her Heavenly One.

Friends?

A tender-hearted new friend of mine introduced me to the "Big Book." At first I thought he was talking about the Bible. No, for the Bible's not referred to as the "Big book," instead, it's "the Bigger Book." The Big Book is the book: Alcoholics Anonymous.

So, this afternoon, in hopes to learn lots of things I do not know, I find myself settling down and enveloping myself in this Big Book anticipating what it has to teach me.

Already, I'm intrigued. I'm an underliner. A noter. A highlighter. But this book is Online. I find myself greatly needing it typed on physical paper. I feel I must capture the moment physically in some form of action in order to sow it deeper into my brain and I cannot. Perhaps I'll soon have to buy the book in normal book form?

Believe it or not, I could say a lot already just from the Foreword and The Doctor's Opinion, but I'll refrain and note something I've just read in Chapter 1's first paragraph. He writes, "I was very lonely and again turned to alcohol."

Woe!

Alcohol is not your friend! It's not a friend ever at all to anybody! It's desire isn't to help you, but to harm you, to enslave you, to master you and make you bow to its bidding.

And still...

Wonder at all of the things we 'turn' to in our loneliness? Wonder at all the things we reach for in our search for a 'friend?'

I have much to read. But today, just now, at this time, in this hour, in this minute, I'm pondering the things we seek in our loneliness to find "friends" in..............

Oh... at the deception of the enemy that disquises in order to deceive us!

There's no place like Home!

.

There's no place like home! It may be messed up, not perfect, or in great need cleaning... but it's mine! I like it best when it's clean... but still even still when there's work to be done.

 

A friend of mine owns some rental property. The lease for his recent tenants just ran out. They're moving into another home. And thus, he's renovating. Repainting. Repairing. Refixing what again needs to be done.

While painting in a closet he saw the above note written in crayon in a corner... "I love this house. Thank you, Mr. John Rite (Jon Wright). Love Beata C. Huntington." How preciously sweet is that! Jon told me, "I'll never paint over it."

For some crazy reason it made me want to cry when I saw it. I'm just that sappy... it doesn't take much to turn my facet on. Not only are my feelings wired to extra feeling, but my mind is crazily wired too. Here's where it went when I saw it:

It immediately reminded me of a different "house." God calls us His temple. His dwelling place. The skin He now lives in. The place where He camps. The place where He lives. And I could picture Him saying to me today, "I love this house! Thank you, Mrs. Sharon Lee. Love, Jesus." What an honor for my Savior to live here inside me!

It's not perfect. It needs renovating. It needs to be washed. It needs to be cleaned out. It needs repairs. It needs repainting and refixing, ransoming daily and redeeming, constantly restoring, and renewing. And as awesome as my Jesus is.... He's the Carpenter that came to do it! And as feeble as  I am,... as fallable and sinful and dysfuntional, He still loves "this house" (my skin tent) that He's chosen and where He now lives! He's still working to beautify it... and ready it for eternity's bliss!

And too...

Churches often get a bad rap. They're full of imperfect people. People that He's not finished working on yet. But still... it's His people, His body, His house, His tabernacle, His temple, His dwelling place.... and no doubt, though all of the work that's still to be done, He loves His "house." He's still working to build it.

There's no place like home, right? God loves the homes that He's picked to reside in. Again, woe at the honor that He'd live here inside it! 

I love 'em!

I love people! I love 'em! All of them. Red, yellow, black, and white,... men, women, and children,... old, middle aged, teenaged, or babies. No matter where they are, what they've done, what they've got on, what their faces look like...how big or tall or short or little..... made-up or un-made.... dressed-up or dressed-down.....  I LOVE people! And I especially today loved those I met with this week in the prisons!

I was in the men's prison on Tuesday, and two different women's on Monday and today. And I cannot even begin to share with you the blessing.

Some I've been meeting with on a weekly basis for a while. But the guys? I'd only just met. We shared, we laughed, we joked, and we got serious. And I can't forget the skins that their hearts beat in. :)

Lord, please bless those guys and those girls. I don't know their sorrows, I don't know their joys, I don't know their obstacles, their hopes or their tears... but You do. You know their need and their feelings. You know their strongholds and temptations. You know their reasons and their whys. You know during the day or at night why their heart cries. Help them to turn their faces to You. And may they feel the saving grace of Christ Jesus. May they set their hearts like flint, Lord, and fix their faces on Yours. Give them a determination that won't be moved. And, one at a time, may they all make a difference touching the multitudes.

Build Your kingdom, Lord!.... using "the foolish things of this world"! I love how You chose to do that! I love that You died and was raised for us all. May they know of the love that You bled for them. Thank You, Lord, for those I love. And even more, thank YOU for loving them more and first!

Struggling to let hope go... while holding onto Faith

 

Prissy with Faith...  

Ecclesiastes 3 tells us that:

"There is a time for everything,

and a season for every activity under heaven:

a time to be born and a time to die,... 

a time to weep and a time to laugh,

a time to mourn and a time to dance,...

a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,

a time to search and a time to give up,...."

And... there are more times that those. Some are not listed. But one thing I know, some "times" are harder than others. Yet each "time" has its reason and purpose. Today's "time"....?

Last night a nurse for a little girl named Faith in Columbus, Ohio, told her mama that "it's time".... So she snuggled in and stayed for the night in order to be there to help her.

Faith before she got sick...

Faith on this past Monday

Woe! That's a hard time for Faith's mama! It's a hard time for a lot of people. And it's also a very hard time for my daughter. She got home from Columbus just last night from visiting with Faith. And so last night, after spending several nights with her and sleeping in Faith's bed, Prissy crawled up in mine and cried until the early morning hours. No one is ready for this time. Everyone wishes, though is powerless to, to stop this clock from ticking.....

It's especially a hard time when you know God can heal her. When you've begged Him to. When you've believed He would. When He hasn't yet. And it doesn't look like He's going to heal her here on this earth.

Faith's mom said this morning, "Faith is still breathing although she cannot move anything or open her eyes. She has said mom three times."

Wow! Faith is still breathing... although it cannot move or see.... is true in a whole lot more ways than one! Faith is still breathing... and so is hope.... although hope is getting weaker of what we had hoped for. But we'll still have faith... even if our hope isn't answered in the way that we wanted it.

That doesn't mean we trust God any less. God has already used Faith to build others faith in miraculous ways. I don't think it ironic that that is her name. Laura, Prissy's friend said it beautifully, "Send prayers of healing and comfort up for sweet Faith and her family today. I love you so much Faith, we really did see a miracle this weekend.. you! God is in control."

Faith is the miracle! For she's already affected and changed so many people's lives. My daughter's for one! In tremendous ways.

We're still praying for Faith! And trusting our Savior! And you know, we never have to lose our hope... because our Hope is always in Him!

Prissy kept playing this song last night while tears were streaming:

You can find Faith's CaringBridge site here.

Father, forgive them, they know not what they say

It's obvious if you've read many of my post that you know that God has given me a heart for those imprisoned. I can't help it. I didn't choose it. I didn't go looking for it. I didn't ask for it. It chose me. It gripped my heart. It's just part of who I am. Evidently part of what I was made for. Part of my purpose. Part of God's plan. Part of how I was created. Part of God's will. It's what my feelings bleed for. They've captivated my thoughts. I cannot help but think about them and want to help. It's my passion. A "compassion" if you will... because it's a passion that has to go, has to "come" to them. My love compels me. Or rather, God's love in me compels me and moves me to do so.

So... it's in the prisons I go.

Granted, it's not for everybody. None of us all called to do everything. My calling isn't yours. And your calling isn't mine. And aren't we glad, because there's so much work everywhere to get done.

Here's my problem.

I didn't mentioned it to the person I was talking to. They brought it up. They knew that I went. And here's what they said, "You know, in the bible when we are told to visit those in prison it was talking about those imprisoned for preaching the gospel."

The statement stunned me. To be honest, it hurt. It startled. It saddened. It devastated. It was a Christian that said it. I didn't see it coming. I love the one that was saying. I highly esteem them. I respect them greatly! I guess that's what hurt me so much. And all that I could answer back was, "But Jesus came to set the captives free, to release the prisoners from their darkness" (Is 61:1).

Jesus said, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick..." Mark 2:17.

Seriously, are our hearts so blind and hardened that we miss that? I can't tell you how many times I have been discouraged from going. I can't tell you how many times people, in essence, have told me they're hopeless. I can't tell you how many times that I've been told that they're "cons" and they will never be anything different. I can't tell you how many times that I've been told that they are "the scum of the earth" and aren't worth the trouble. I can't tell you how many times I've been told that there is "no rehabilitating"....

And sadly, it's "Christians" that are the ones telling me.

Father, forgive them. They know not what they say. Change our hearts. Change our attitudes. Heal our blind eyes from their darkness. Transform our minds and our thinking. And fill our hating hearts with Your love.

She was different today

She was different today. And I'm angry. And aggravated. And frustrated. And tired.

But I'm proud too.

She sported a different look than normal when she walked in. You could spot it immediately. She said that she needed to talk. She needed to say something that was hard for her to say.

She proceeded to tell us that she's been incarcerated already for more than 10 years. She comes up for parole in March. March the 25th will be her 11th anniversary inside. "But," she said, "I want to see if I can get them to postpone my parole hearing for a year. I'm not ready to get out and go home."

Wow. That's a new one. That's different. That was a surprise. That wasn't expected. That's one that I hadn't heard before. And, of course, I couldn't imagine it, and wondered why?

Here's what she told us:

She told me that the use of drugs contributed to her crime and is the reason that she's here. And yet, she's still been doing drugs the whole time of her incarceration. She's still using. "And," she said, "I need to get myself well. I don't need to go home still having this problem. I'm afraid of what will happen if I do. I mean, I want to go home. I know my family, my daughter(!), wants me to. But they don't need me like this. I'll only make things worse if I go home still sick."

She's signed up for all of the drug rehab programs. She's got a determined mind. She wants to be different. She wants to beat this thing.

She cried the whole time she talked. Her tears literally dripped from her cheeks. I don't think she could believe that she was saying it. She said that the people will think I'm crazy in here. Who does this sort of thing?

I've never been so proud of her. I guess I'm totally clueless. Though I knew something... this, I never would have known. But, like I said, her face already looked different. More relieved. Tired. But more open. Beaten. And shamed. But looking up because she'd hit rock bottom. Hopeful. Relieved. Ready. :)

I don't know if the extended stay is her answer. We're working toward figuring that out. I think that perhaps if we could get her paroled that we could get her in a transitional home with programs to help and perhaps that would be better than the place that she's in. I'm searching for answers, asking people who know more than I do, and praying a lot. God will give us the wisdom. I trust Him to lead us in the right direction.

Meanwhile...

and this is what gets me.

Though I guess I've known about it, I've been infuriated ever since! It's not new news. I've heard the tales. I've been told the stories. It seems to run rampant in most (if not all) prisons. But why can't we do something about it? Why can't we stop it? Why are drugs so prevalent in our prisons? If drugs are so often the enemy behind why the person was imprisoned in the first place... then why can't we get it out of the prisons while they're incarcerated in order to help them detox??? How are they doing this? But more, what can we do about it? Ugh... tonight it makes me saddened and sick that our system so very much fails us.

Tempted... to tuck tail and run

I need to get over myself. And I will. But....

I get scared. Overwhelmed. Find myself wondering, "Oh my goodness, what in the world am I doing?" And fear wants to take hold of me, grip me, ensnare me, trap me, and turn me around.

I found myself there today. Several times.

I was on the way to the Criminal Justice Building for a meeting. The same building that I am soon to have an office in, with a swipe card for the locked-security's entrances, and a computer that supposeably already now sits on 'my' desk. What am I doing with an office there? How in the world did they let me in? Accept me? Welcome me? Invite me? Allow me?? Having nothing to offer them in way of knowledge, or training, or credentials? Without asking? Without planning it? Without getting paid. Without thinking it? Without even imagining it? 

This is pure proof that God confounds the wise and uses the foolish things of this world. Me, being the foolish thing in this particular scene! It doesn't make sense for Him to use someone like me... yet, it looks as if He's decided and chosen to do so in the most unexpected and strategic of places.

I rode to Birmingham today with one of the assistant commissioners and the re-entry coordinator for the state Dept of Corrections for a Critical Incident Debriefing of a suicide incident that happened to an officer in one of the prisons. How I managed to find myself on the Critical Incident Team is another wonder of mine??? But I am. And I did. And oddly, here we go.

Too, Dr. L told me yesterday that as soon as the recently purchased building for our inmates gets renovated that he hopes to set up an office in the prison there for me, as well, so that I can at least go in once a week to do I have no idea what at this moment, but I guess something he knows.

Plus, I got another email yesterday that I have yet to respond to asking me to speak again at another men's prison. And honestly, I'm scared! I look around and none of it makes any rhyme or reason without God. None of it makes sense. And though I have no doubt it's Him, I am so unsure of  myself! My mind goes through things like: Who am I? What do I have to offer? Why would they want to listen to me? What good will one visit do? What lasting effect or impression can happen in one hour?......?..........?.......................? The questions stalk. The questions bombard. The questions continue. 

Fear is knocking! It's trying its best to stay me.

While riding in my car lately I find myself riding in silence. When praying I shake my head telling God that I don't know what to say. I ask for His wisdom and His will and His empowerment. Yet lately, I am so blown away that I haven't a clue how to verbalize it. I think it's awe-struck-ness. Woe-ness! Whoa-ness! Uh, what? And wildly, wow! Who knows really, other than the fact that I'm stunned into silence.

I'm embarrassed now for even saying all this. I don't exactly know why I did, other than perhaps it's somehow therapeutic in the saying?? 

Forgive me. Ignore me. Pretend I didn't write. I know that God hasn't given me a spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind (2 Tim 1:7). Yet honestly, sometimes we're simply really scared.... but we have to refuse to bow to the feeling and get up and go anyway... not because of our trust in ourselves, but because of our total trust in our God and our Savior.

I suppose I'll get up and email the prison's director in the morning to let them know that I'm coming. God has given me a huge opportunity. One like I said that totally doesn't make sense and isn't given to everybody. How right would it be for me to refuse it and turn my back on what "I could do" for fear that it's too little really to be enough?

I don't think it's ironic that God has reminded me of all of the "fear not"s in His Book. I don't think it ironic that tonight's studying took me to Jesus feeding the 5,000 with five small loaves and two little fish. Nor do I think it ironic that it also took me to the pages of Jonah when God told Jonah to go, but he turned instead and went the other way. And mostly, I don't think it ironic that God reminded me of the scripture that tells of the woman who "did what she could." God didn't expect her to do what she couldn't. As I once wrote earlier in another post, "every could that does counts."

Nope. I don't think it ironic. I think it's my Father trying to encourage me. The Holy Spirit trying to comfort me. Jesus wanting me to follow Him. He came to set the captives free... and sometimes He uses the skins and feet and mouths of people to help Him do just that. It's not what we can do... it's what He can and plans and purposes and wills and wants to do through us! It's not just about us, it's about the people He still wants to reach.

Oh, Jesus, do only what You can do and let this skin of mine be a "Jesus with skin on" to those looking and longing to see Him.

She's hungry!!! (And I am too!)

A friend of mine was talking to me. In the present, she's about as down as they come. Depressed. Unsettled. Unfulfilled. Unsatisfied. Not happy. She's got nothing really to complain about, yet everything. Not really. But depression produces reason to complain... it's got to look for some place to lay blame. So, it seeks something somewhere and decides surely that's why, surely that's it, surely it's this reason or that one,... or if this particular thing happened, I'd instantly be happy again.

Yeah.

Right?

No.

I doubt it.

That rarely happens.

She told me, "Seriously though," she cried when she said it, "I don't really know why."

I know. I could relate. I understood. I've been there. I could often find myself there still if I didn't refuse the offer to join when my own pity party invited. Sadly, the invitation tries to come often. It comes in all forms. I'd say "no two are alike," but that's not true. The party that you've pitied in before very much remembers. It keeps your name on the list and invites often as if hoping you'll come back again to join it. And yet, new invitations in all sorts of disguises come too. Satan came to steal, kill, and destroy.... he's creative in the ways he tries to take and butcher and devastate you. It doesn't have to necessarily even be sin. It's so crazy that sometimes it really doesn't have to have a reason. We can fall in despair over an "I don't know." We can sulk in a stew of depression with no real why of doing so. What crazy creatures we are! How easy it is to have an unfulfilled feeling.

Personally, I think she's hungry.

Matter of fact, I know she is.

How do I know?

Because I've been her. And sometimes I am her still.

She lost her job a couple of months ago, so she's antsy. A bit anxious. But, it's more than that. Like I said, I think she's hungry for real. Just because we don't live in poverty in another country and our bellies aren't caved in or protruding from starvation doesn't mean that we're not starving on the inside and in desperate need of feeding!

In John 4 we find that Jesus talked with the Samaritan woman... the woman at the well... the woman that had been married five times and was now living with a sixth man. Jesus, no doubt, knew she was coming and had made it His purpose to 'happen' to meet alone with her there. The sixth verse tells us that He was tired from His journey..... (again) no doubt, He knew that this woman was tired from her 'journey', as well. (How I love that about Him!)

The third and fourth verses say (KJV), "He left Judaea, and departed again into Galilee. And He must needs go through Samaria" (emphasis mine). That "must needs" is the Greek word dei. That particular word is often used in scripture when talking about the plan or the will of God.

Examples, dei is used in:

·    Luke 2:49 when Jesus asks His parents, “Did you know not that “I must be about My Father’s business?”

·    Matthew 16:21, “"From that time forth began Jesus to show unto His disciples, how that He must go unto Jerusalem, and suffer many things..."

·    Matt 24:6, "And ye shall hear of wars and rumors of wars: see that ye be not troubled: for all these things must come to pass, but the end is not yet."

·    Mark 13:10, "And the gospel must first be published among all nations.”

·    Luke 4:43, "And He said unto them, I must preach the kingdom of God to other cities also: for therefore am I sent."

·    Luke 24:7, "The Son of man must be delivered into the hands of sinful men and be crucified..."

·    Luke 24:26, "Ought not Christ to  have suffered these things, and to enter unto His glory?"

·    John 9:3b-4, Jesus is talking, "... "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in His life. As long as it is day, we must do the work of Him Who sent Me..."" (NIV)

·    John 20:9, "For as yet they knew not the scripture, that He must rise again from the dead."

The definition insinuates that it was necessary for Jesus to go through Samaria, it was needed, it was a "necessity in reference to what is required to attain some end." Jesus didn't say or act anything or in anyway except what His Father told Him to do or to say. In other words, it was necessary for Jesus to go there in order to establish the purpose meant by His Father to do and to say what God had willed to be done and so told Him.

Jesus' disciples had left Him earlier to go in search for food. Upon their return and at their urges for Jesus to eat ("Rabbi, eat something") Jesus said, "I have food to eat that you know nothing about."

Confusion set in among them. They wondered with each other over who could have brought Him some food?

That's when He answered. "My food," Jesus said (listen to this!), "My food is to do the will of Him Who sent Me and to finish His work." To which then He continues, Open your eyes and look at the fields, they're ripe for harvest!

In other words, He's about His Father's business. Even this was the will of why God sent Him. Jesus considered it His "food" to do what His Father willed for Him. It filled Him! It made Him NOT hungry! No food is like our Father's food! And not only that, there's so much more work to be done.

There is a satiating filling in accomplishing the work that God's prepared for you to do. There's a hunger inside us to do! If we're not fulfilling our purpose, accomplishing our work, doing what God has created and willed for us, going about our Father's business...then, we're left lacking. We're empty. We're anxious. We're depressed. Unsettled. Unfulfilled. Unsatisfied. Not happy. We've not really got anything to complain about, we don't even really know why but.......

We're frazzled, not 'right', not filled in our feeling!

You know?

We're not only hungry for the manna of God's Word! But we're hungry to do His work! What's He's willed for us, what He's made and created us for, what He's purposed and planned... the work that God prepared in advance for us to do before we were knit inside our mother's womb (Ephesians 2:10, Psalm 139)!

It's back to the verse we talked about in my last post, "Turn from evil and DO GOOD." We're to turn from.... but then, we're to turn to and in turn do... something good, something useful, something to benefit.

Jesus told Peter, "Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat, but when you come back, strengthen your brothers." He gave Simon a purpose, a job, a will for His life, a something that God wants done and wants him to do, after he'd returned from his sifting.

Whether we like to think so or not, we're made to labor, we're made to serve, there's fulfillment in the work that God's given and left for us. The harvest is plentiful! We're called to be a worker! We're called to labor the fields! And we'll be hungry, lacking, unsettled, unfulfilled if we don't.

I understand such hunger! Being hungry is good! We need the stirring, the anxiousness, the growling. It points us in the right direction. We need to feel empty, we need to feel lacking, we need to feel some dissatisfaction... so... that we'll feast on the "food" of our Father! First His manna... and then, on the work that He's planned and given us! Not the work that He's given to somebody else. Only our food will satiate, sustain and satisfy. Only what He's purposeably made for us each individually to do.

I like the hunger. It's an invitation. The growling is purposed. Perhaps it's one of the greatest blessings ever for it causes us to be uncomfortable and gets us to search for our 'food'... the feast that awaits us that our Father wants to put on our plates. May I never feel so filled that I miss the ultimate filling!

She's hungry. I am too. We all are. We have need because we're made for something to do....

I'm hungry, Lord! Show me, Father, what You want done!

We're Do-ers! We're gonna Do!

Sin is a tempting thing! It's often hard to resist. Its lure is deceiving. It looks good! It appears promising! The wrapping it comes in hides the snare inside it. And once you fall for it and it's caught you, the trap is often one of the hardest things in the world to get out of. Even with the want-to behind it, it's that imprisoning. It's that deep of a pit.

But then....

Once you've finally worked your way out with the power of God and all the determination it took... what then?

Not too long ago my daughter was talking to me about it. After days of being determined to "not go there again," she told me, "Mom, I can't keep focusing on what I can't do. I'll never make it if I keep focusing on my can't. I've finally figured it out. Instead of focusing on what I can't, I've got to instead focus on what I can."

Amen! She's right! Focusing on what we can't do only makes us miserable and keeps us on the verge of falling again. We're Do-ers! We're made to do! Regardless of where we're focusing we're always going to be do-ing something!

I've got the verse for that. It's found in Psalm 34:14. It's simply put, but profoundly said. It's wise in its wisdom. It says, "Turn from evil and DO good..."


Turn...

• Depart from
• Turn aside from
• Avoid
• Remove yourself from
• Go away from

from evil...

• from bad
• from evil (pain, unhappiness, misery)
• from disagreement
• from malignant things
• from unpleasantness
• from sad
• from unhappy
• from distress
• from misery
• from injury
• from calamity
• from adversity
• from wrong

and do...

• accomplish
• make
• produce
• work
• act, act with effect, effect
• prepare
• bring about
• execute

good...

• good
• pleasant
• agreeable
• excellent
• rich
• valuable in estimation
• benefit
• happiness

Instead of doing what brings havoc and makes miserable... Turn from that! And... DO GOOD! Things that are beneficial, things that are if value, that are rich and excellent, that are pleasant, that brings happiness.

I like that. We're made to do. We're gonna do. We're Do-ers. That's what we were created for. It's not To-Do or NOT-To-Do! It's what you're do-ing that counts. It matters at the end of the day what you've done.  It just depends on what you're do-ing that either makes sad or produces happiness.

If it's not a good thing...TURN FROM IT... and do a worth-while thing!

\

We couldn't... so they did!

We totally had one of the very best nights E~V~E~R!

Our inmate girls just finished a two year program. Tonight we had their graduation. Diplomas and all. It was such fun! I was so proud of them. It's hard work to last that long, to give that much time, to be that committed, to refuse to quit when the want-to hit and persevere after it. 

We wanted to throw them a party. We did for our Work Release girls. But the warden in this particular prison refused our request. And... being that we couldn't throw them one... they simply threw one for us instead!

Wow!

How sweet! I wanted to cry all the way home. It's been a sappy day, why not add to that and cry more? I kept thinking that though they don't have much everyone pooled together and gave what they did! We had popcorn, and cookies, and "prison smores," and small sandwiches, and canned cokes. When asked how they got the sandwiches, we were told that they got them in the sandwich line. They bought several and cut them up to make them multiply into enough. They were good. Perfect. But the thought and the price even more!

Precious!

Priceless!

How can you thank such hearts as theirs? We went into the prison to bless and we're the ones that are daily reaping the blessing.

We weren't only proud of them, they were proud of themselves. It showed. They grinned. As my husband would have put it, they glowed! We all laughed and cried and shared stories and jokes with each other. There's a sisterhood among them, and we are included as one of their sisters! I loved every minute of it! There is grace, and love, and sacrificial lives living their sentences out in the prisons! I know. I've met them. And I feel God's favor for giving me an opportunity to serve and be served by those ladies in their uniform whites with robes of white awaiting them in Heaven.

PWHD, indeed! Princess Warriors in Human Disguise!... I know Jesus is loving living out the Display of His Splendor in their skins!

Here are pics... not of tonight's group, but of some of the girls in the other prison

I looked a mess!

I didn't sleep a wink last night, so my eyes were already red. I did the best I could with make-up, but still my eyes burned with fury from my night's abuse. It wasn't that I hadn't planned on sleeping. I did. I went to bed earlier than usual, about 11 o'clock. Early for me, because I knew my morning would start especially early. I needed to be up by five, definitely not a minute past 5:30.

I turned the light out. Turned over. Pulled the cover up just right. And snuggled in. And then...

My oldest daughter walked into my room. She peeked at me, then turned to tiptoe back out. I rose up to tell her "Hi."

She answered, "I thought you were asleep."

"No," I said. "I just laid down."

So....

She crawled up in the bed with me and her talking began. She'd been out-of-town. She was asleep herself when I got home. But now she was awake. And she wanted to share. So share she did. And we had the best time. She didn't leave my room until two o'clock this morning.

Woe. By that hour I knew I didn't have long. But I was wired. No sleepy at all anywhere in my body. I got Online to do a few things, hoping the screen's reading would make me sleepy. It didn't. By the time I probably could have gone to sleep, it was too close to time to get up. I vetoed the whole idea and just got on up anyway.

That was part of it, but that isn't the total reason I looked so bad.

Today was one of our oldest girl's parole hearing. I couldn't wait. I was excited. Giddy. Wanting release for her so badly, but scared for what might happen. It's my first parole hearing to attend, I'd never been to one before. I was so proud of her family and friends. She obviously has lots of support from those that love her. I met her sister, and her aunt, and her daughter. Their similarities were striking. I imagine with a bit of make-up (and a wig like theirs **smile**), they would even be more so. Ah, I could picture it already... our girl all fixed up on the outside of the fence and smiling her million dollar smile of thanksgiving!

We sat there for 2 1/2 hours before her name was called. We lined up and marched in. Quiet. Hopeful. Full of wonder and silent prayers. We packed the house on our side of the room. The lone woman on the other side was an assistant to the District Attorney General.

Three of us from our side were given the floor to speak of the reasons we deemed her worthy of being released from her sentence early. The other lady spoke of the reasons why she shouldn't. Her mercy (or lack thereof) now sat in the hands of the parole board that we sat before. They told us that they had heard both arguments and now they would deliberate and give us their answer. Surprisingly to me, they stayed sitting right there while they discussed. Everyone's eyes in the room were riveted toward theirs. No one said a word. No one moved. Everyone speaking with silent prayers.

The verdict was in. The decision had been made. And we were told that her parole would be granted!

I could hold back my tears no longer. My mascara was making a mess of my face! After hugs with the girl that I teach with and her family members, I was too full, I had to spill out. I cried myself all the way home. If that was me, just imagine what the news will do for our girl once she hears it! We'll get to see her tonight. She should already have been told by then. I can only imagine that I'll be a mess herself when I see her! Today, I'm fine with looking a mess! Today's "mess" was totally worth it!

Tears always talk. Tears always have a message to tell. God doesn't just keep our tears in bottle, but those tears have something to say to Him. Indeed, today's tears were no exception. Today our tears thanked our Savior! He came to release the captives. He came to open the doors of the prisons. He came to lose the bonds and break the chains that bind. Today He opened the door and gave flight to a girl who once sinned, who's sorry, who hates what she did, but now is grateful way past saying to a God that forgives, heals, and redeems!... so, her tears and ours talk to our Jesus to say what verbalized words will never have power enough on their own to say! Some things aren't said with voice. Some things are said through a liquidized dripping!

Thank You, God, for setting this captive free!

For another post that talks of our tears click here: He Keeps Our Tears In His Bottle?