Friday, October 30, 2009
Wonder what God must think when He sees?
I checked my mailbox before leaving to go out-of-town hoping that I'd have something that I was waiting for in it waiting for me. And I did! I found his "handwriting" there. Yay! So I got to take it with me when I left. I was so excited! Thrilled with anticipation! Curious with wonder!
I couldn't wait! I began reading it on the way. I read as I drove until the sun disappeared and I could no longer see to. And then I read the rest of it as I sat in the Baggage Claim Dept in the Atlanta Airport waiting for my sister's arrival. His 'notes' that filled the pages of his Stenographers Notebook ended with this question, "Did you really read all of this?" My answer back to him? Every single word of it! Every single jot and tittle! And some of those? Even more than once!
Well, what can I say now after I've read it? I don't know how to tell you what it meant. I don't know how to tell you how I felt. I can't verbalize my reaction. It's too big. Words can't capsule it. But I'll tell you this much, for miles I couldn't read a word of it... because instead, I just held his words written in his spiral notebook to my chest and cried.
I loved that he sent the whole notebook, and not just loose papers. I don't know why... but I did. I wasn't expecting it. Nor was I expecting the original thing, I was expecting Xeroxed copies of his notes... and typed ones, not hand-written. The originals scribbled in pencil made it a zillion times better. And to think what God must think about the time and the effort and the heart that he put into writing things about Him and His Truths..... I don't know, I had never thought about that before that very minute while I was reading it. But WOW, at what God must feel towards those that do. Towards those that delve deep into His word. Towards those spending their time with their heads bent over and eyes held squinted in deep thought or held wide in wonder. Towards those that spend hours upon hours upon hours in searching His scripture. Towards those that take time to pencil, or to pen, or to type, or to text worlds of notes from their meditation over the words that they'd read... because they'd meant so much, and because they didn't want to forget them, or because they wanted to share them with another.
The notes that I read that I talk about above that was sent to me by a friend are the notes that my friend had written and taken with him on a mission trip to Peru to teach those people that live there of God and His Love-filled Son. It's a friend that I haven't seen since right out of high school. And one that obviously loves God and His Word. I was incredibly impressed with the thoughts that he'd written to share. He did an excellent job of explaining sin, the atonement, and justification by Jesus's blood. And if those were "just his notes",... then wow, at what it must have been like to hear his audible! I would have loved to. I wish I could have. Just by seeing what he'd written I found him precious and I loved his heart!
The next day after being so moved by all that my friend had written I went to the funeral of my daughter's boyfriend's father. Dustin read a poem that he'd written about his dad and then told some things and stories about him. How precious it was to hear the voice of a child's heart for his daddy!!!! Needless to say, I was fine until Dustin got up there... but then when he did my non-waterproof mascara ran faster than I was able to wipe it. That was one of the things that I also felt yesterday as I was reading my friend's notes. I almost felt it too intimate to read. I felt like... I felt that I was holding a piece of his heart that he'd taken the time to use his hand to pen on a page about his own Father and Savior. I can't tell you how precious I thought that that was. Almost too precious to hold... too sweet to handle. Too priceless of a thing to be able to peek into.
Reflecting over all of that since and being whoa-ed with wonder at what God must think as we search so diligently and deeply and hard for Him in His words. Seeing Him see us as we reflect on what He's said, as we ponder those things in our hearts, as we mull over His commands and contemplate His will and His heart.... noting on paper with pen what moves us; I wonder again, what He must think when He sees? How it must make His heart soar. Especially after He's penned His own heart, for after all, He has sent us His "handwriting" and wonders too, watching us to see if, "Did you really read all of this?"
After writing about my feelings of how I felt in response to the notebook of my friend, I wonder if I feel the same way about Jesus's words? Do I go to my 'mailbox' (His Bible) and wonder if I'll find His handwriting to me there? Can I stand to wait? Or do I find I can't, and feel compelled to read it on my way?
Oh yes! I DO love His word! I can't wait to see what He's said! Sometimes it so moves me I can't even read because my heart's too overwhelmed, I'll simply just hold the words He's written to me to my chest and cry there and love Him even more. Yes, I do this too, not just for my friend... but also in reaction to the words of my Savior:
I check my mailbox before leaving to go on my way hoping that I'll have something that I am waiting for in it waiting for me. And I do! I find HIS "handwriting" there. Yay! I get to take it with me when I go. I'm so excited! Thrilled with anticipation! Curious with wonder! What does my God have to say to me today?
I can't wait! I begin reading it on the way. I read (sometimes) as I drive until the sun disappears and I can no longer see to. And then I read more of it as I sit in different stops throughout my day. His 'notes' that fill the pages of my Bible don't necessarily end with this question as my friend's notes did, "Did you really read all of this?" but I wonder if He asks? I wonder if He wonders if I will? I'm sure He hopes I do! My answer back to him if He did? Oh yes, Lord, yes! Every single word of it! Every single jot and tittle! And some of those? Even more than once! And all of those, hopefully a whole lot more!
Well, what can I say now after I've read it? I don't know how to tell you what it meant. I don't know how to tell you how I felt. I can't verbalize my reaction. It's too big. Words can't capsule it. But I'll tell you this much, my God loves me and that's why my Savior died! He's written notes to remind me. He's shared His heart for me there. He's shown me what He's done. He tells me what He's to do. He advises me. Equips me. Warns me. Empowers me. And even once, He brought His Word off the page and sent them to us in the form of His Son! How's that for personal "handwriting"! Wow, He's written notes to you too. How I hope (though He hopes even more) that you will take the time to read it! You've got mail!!! If I were you I'd go check and hurry to read it!