A slip of a word!

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Interesting! For real! Super so! At least I thought so. I found it before, but had forgotten it. The rediscovery was especially exciting! I wouldn't have remembered that I'd found it if I hadn't written notes concerning it. I LOVED the reminder! I LOVED the find again! I LOVED the dig! Have I already said, I LOVED the discovery?! Whoa, God's Word never ceases to thrill me!

It's found in a small five letter word. One little word.... but oh, the meaning goes deep!

It's a slip of word. "Slip" as in a garment you slip on. Like a sleeve. Or a bag. Or a pocket. Or a dress. Or a coat. Something you wear. But wow, at what is contained in the garment. It is no ordinary covering. And, it's no ordinary thing that that covering contains!


Actually, it's even better than that! Better than a coat... or a dress... or a pocket... or a bag... or a sleeve... or a slip! It's a skin! A human one! Flesh itself... is the covering!


It started here. In Genesis 2:21-23. (Stay with me, because you'll soon see a very surprising unexpected!) "So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib He had taken out of the man, and He brought her to the man. The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman,' for she was taken out of man."


I have purposefully bolded, in the verses above, my word of interest. The five letters that first seemed so normal, yet is far from it, and soon to excite me are: f.l.e.s.h.


Crazily (because I love so much to look up all words in any passage I'm reading), I went to Strong's Lexical Concordance for flesh's definition. 


Here's what I found: The English word flesh here, is basar in the Hebrew. And means:

• flesh
• the body itself
• the exterior skin
• It's also: animals, or mankind, or flesh as frail and erring (man against God)

Basar comes from a root word... another word spelled the same: basar. And this basar is defined like this:

• to bear news
• to bear tidings
• to publish
• to preach
• to show forth
• to gladden with good news
• to announce
• to be a messenger

It's the combined definition of the two that so very much whoa-ed me! From the two (and from other backup verses that I'll mention below) this is what I concluded: 


That, I guess, it could be said that our 'flesh' is just the 'skin' that God created in which the 'good news' could be 'published' and 'preached' and 'shown forth' in! The flesh (or skin) was made to be the vessel (the dress, the vehicle, the container, the jar of clay!), the 'bearer,' in which to contain and carry and to bear the good news to others in! The 'skin's container has purpose to encase the good news, the message.. and is the 'skin" in which to publish it, to preach it, to announce it, to SHOW the salvation of Jesus to all those around us!


Let me elaborate on all that was just said with a few proof examples.


1 Chron 16:23-27, "Sing unto the LORD, all the earth; SHOW FORTH [basar] from day to day His salvation. Declare His glory among the heathen. His marvelous works among the nations. For great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised.."


Isa 52:7, "How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of him that BRINGETH GOOD TIDINGS [basar], that publisheth peace; that bringeth GOOD TIDINGS [basar] of good, that publisheth salvation; that saith unto Zion, Thy God reigneth!"


Isa 61, "The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is upon Me, because the LORD has anointed Me TO PREACH GOOD NEWS [basar] to the poor. He has sent Me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners..."


Note that we're told of Jesus in John 1:1-2,14, "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God from the beginning.....And the Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us...." 


God once took that "Word" (Jesus) and wrapped Him in human skin (flesh) so that He could witness of Him, and we could see God, the Father, in the Son He sent.


Notice, too, what we're told in the same chapter of John (vs 6-15), "There came a man who was sent from God; his name was John. He came as a witness [maturia = testifying; to be a witness, to testify, to record, to report] to testify [martureo = to be a witness, to bear witness, to give (not keep back) testimony, to utter honorable testimony, to give a good report] concerning that Light, so that through Him all men might believe. He himself was not the Light; he came only as a witness [martureo] to the Light.... The Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us.... John testifies [matureo] concerning Him. He cries [krazo = to cry out, to speak with a loud voice, to vociferate] out, saying, "this was He of whom I said..."


Can you see it??? 


I don't know if it did for you what it did for me... but wow, still I'm blown away by God's wording and His working. Flesh / skins [basar] made to contain and proclaim [basar] Him! Skins to hold the Savior and His Spirit... while those very skins are used to voice Jesus!


It's as Jesus says in Acts 1:8, "you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be MY witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth."


It's surely easily seen in Christ Himself as The Word that became flesh to show and make God's Glory known. And then, we see it again in the example of John... he being sent by God Himself to be a "voice" - the vessel that calls (proclaims, witnesses, bears good news, brings good tidings) in order to point to the One that is Glorious and thus being a vessel of His to (also) display His Glory. 


Wooo... we're made to tell! May we "witness" and "proclaim" and "testify" well! 


May His Word come in flesh again, as it did in Jesus, in our skins!


"Let the redeemed of the Lord say...."  (Psalm 107:2)... and I myself must say, that I LOVE to be saying..............!!!!


Woe, what I KNOW is... is that this flesh of mine is gonna be proclaiming something! This mouth of mine has a need to voice it's feeling... and, too, it's FILLING! I already knew that. But now that the knowing has made itself in deeper with these new words God has so preciously revealed to me, may I NOT waste time and words to what the enemy's done and is doing, but may my words be careful to publish and announce and be a messenger alone of all that my Savior has and still does!
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My very last day EVA!!!!

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Today is my v.e.r.y  l.a.s.t day EVA to be 48! The clock is ticking... only a few hours left of the day, and then tomorrow? I embark upon a new year in my becoming (Oh goodness... Gasp!).... 49! Only a year away from my 50!


What awaits me there, I wonder? What has God ordained (before one day of mine was yet to be) for my 49th year? What has He planned? What does He hold in store for me? In this very moment next year (if I'm still here), what kind of year will I have deemed it to be? Time sure goes fast. It seems to get faster everyday. How many days, really, do I have left? On the calendar that bares my name... how quick will all of my days on this earthly sod be forever gone?


Oh Lord, I love Your wonder! I'm constantly amazed at Your GOoDness! I'm consistently awed by grace... by Your mercy... by Your faithfulness.... by Your LOVE that is forever unfailing! I LOVE the Author that You are! Not just a Father. Not just a God. (As if those were not enough.) But also, The Author of our stories!!! How do we ever deserve such attention! The ever-watchful eye of Yours that is so very much into every second of our lives! One who cares like You do! Who rescues us! Saves us! Gets us out of our trouble! And then redeems it all for our good! Who "works everything out"!!!!!!!!.... who alone, but YOU!

How exciting! I am anticipating my days ahead. I've still got breath yet... meaning, He then still has purpose for me here! May I be more than ever tuned into Him! May He make my ears keen to hear like never before! Give me eyes to see, Lord, what You envision! Give me a heart that yields! Redeem the years, Lord, that the locust have eaten! Make the most of my every day left! Use every single bit of it for Your glory! I long to do Your will, Oh Lord! I long to be busy only about my Father's business!

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I want my write back!

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Dear Lord,

I've lost my write!!! And I cannot even begin to tell you how much I miss it! LORD... I want my write back!!!

I feel like a well that's all dried up... dry, bare, lacking, a hole that's vacant, void, hollow, hungry... and yet, in all of my great hopes I keep sending the bucket down to only draw it back up again empty and without. I've got lots to say..... I just DON'T KNOW HOW to say it!!


Please fill my well! I was born with this, I have need to tell! Please give ink to my pen again! Please put paint on my brush! Please give me words to put on a page! And thank you for all of the blank canvases in the past that You gave me voice once to fill up.
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WAKE UP, Oh sleeper!

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Ah, I find myself having a perfect day of total slowing-down.... opposed to so much hype and hurry that my days of late have been so incredibly filled with. I'm so excited about having NO WHERE that I have to go today that I can hardly stand myself. I don't have to fix the face, nor doo the hair, nor even find something cute enough to wear out in. My kids are either at work or school, my husband out of town, and I've decided to ignore whatever the house begs my attention for to sit instead and drench myself in God's Wonderful Word. I can't even begin to tell you my excitement in its anticipation. And yet................ I find myself so fantastically sleepy that I'm having to fight every second to hold my eyes open to stay awake. I'm so aggravated and frustrated at myself ! It's 9:52 a.m. already... and I've hardly done a thing. The soaking I'm trying to sink myself in seems to be the very lull that puts me to sleep. And I was wanting a fire that starts blazing inside, not a light that seems barely burning and one that's about to be blown out to total darkness.

"Ah, Lord God, wake me up over here! I need a jolt of "Light"ning's power to wake this girl up from her sleep! I can't help but think of Your Scripture and hear You say them to me:

"Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead,

and Christ will shine on you."

(Ephesians 5:14)

Or, as the King James Version words it:

"Wherefore He saith

Awake thou that sleepest,

and arise from the dead,

and Christ shall give thee Light."

Ah, indeed! It IS that "Light" that I'm longing and looking for!

"Awake" - is a word defined as meaning: "to arouse; to cause to rise from a seat or a bed; to raise, to stir up." So... I've roused myself up from the seat where I've been sitting; and I've heated myself a hot bowl of soup to sip with my cold can of Coca-Cola Classic in efforts to stir my heart's beating..... 

"WAKE UP," I say to myself! I've let the dogs out, and started the dishwasher, and put away a few things left out from the night before's busy..... "WAKE UP," I yell! "WAKE UP," because time's ticking! Yet it ticks and it tocks in its tremendous great hurry and quickly I'm losing the morning that I was so wishing to be able to hold on to in efforts to accomplish all that I had planned for it.

In remembering the verse that I'm using again, who was it that was told to "awake"? Awake thou that sleepest." "Sleepest" being defined from a Greek word as meaning: "to fall asleep, or to drop off to sleep; to sleep normally / (or) euphemistically, to be dead / (and) metaphorically: to yield to sloth and sin, and to be indifferent to one's salvation." That one word alone seems to hold so much meaning that I could live and chew and ponder and glean and yield from that one lone word by itself for days. In my immediate moment, it's the first word's defining that fits me. I just need to wake myself up from falling off to a normal sleep or dropping off to my slumber. In my days before my salvation, it was the second "sleepest" definition that I needed wakened from.... From the dead! For in my sin and without Jesus' salvation, I was doomed an eternal death. But it's the third definition's meaning ("to yield to sloth and sin, and to be indifferent to one's salvation") that is the scariest of all.... and I've been there in that "sleep" as well. And oh, what a sleep that needs to be shaken up and waked up from! 

"Awake thou that sleepest" - Awake from your place of yielded slothfulness. Awake from where you've given over to sin! Awake from your realm of total "indifference to salvation"! Ooo... scary thought! Oooo.... every scarier place! And too many in this world are sleeping... while those of us that are "awake" allow them peace inside their slumber. Ugh, what are we thinking?! We're left here to rouse them from their suspended state of unconsciousness... yet in our hustle and bustle of busy we leave them in their tombed cocoons and don't think to give another thought of it. I've been guilty. Am guilty now. I feel the overwhelming conviction! And I wonder if you're guilty too? Oh my, for I now wonder if God's Spirit hadn't led me to that Scripture this morning on purpose, because I've got MORE places to waken from than just merely fighting a morning's need for a nap that looms to take over me?

Is there someone sleeping in your world? And (if you bother to look) might you find them all around you? Snoring in their stupors? Tossing in their tombs? Groveling in their graves? Deep in their darkness, while you're living in your "Light" and happily leaving them alone there in it? Darkness has their minds dulled to the Truth and someone needs to run in to turn on the "Light"! Sleep is dulling, sleep is numbing, sleep is an oblivion to the world and all that goes around in it. You haven't a clue what's really happening in reality while you're sleeping. And something far worse than a threatening storm or a tornado's warning is coming to swallow till all of eternity all of those that are found still left in that sleep. Many of those are our loved ones! Why do I leave them there? Why don't I bother to run in my panic to wake them from their sleepiness?

What do we do with those sleeping around us? What do we do with our dead?

"Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine of you."...... "Wherefore He saith,  awake thou that sleepest, and arise from the dead, and Christ shall give thee Light." 

Jesus, when He came and walked this earth in human skin, went to the tomb of a dead man named Lazarus that had died four days earlier. We're told that He cried when He saw Mary crying. Then He went to the tomb and called Lazarus forth from it, raising him from the dead. And we're moved by the compassion that moved Jesus to do it. We are often told this part of the story, yet, it's the earlier verses that perhaps we should give more of our attention to? At which Jesus replies with, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes on Me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in Me will never die. Do you believe this?"

Do you?

Do you believe what Jesus said? That He is the resurrection and the life? And that he who believes on Him will live (even though he dies)? Do you believe that? I'm sure that most of those reading this does. Yet think of what Martha said of her brother, "I know he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day." That's a great feeling and there's great satisfaction and a fantastical peace that washes over us in being able to "know" that about our loved one that's died. Yet how many "dead people" are walking around us that won't be, because they're still sleeping in their slumbers while we leave them there because we don't bother to wake them?

Perhaps this verse carries two messages to us? One) we need ourselves to wake from our normal napping. And Two) we need to start turning on the "Light" to those around us instead of leaving them lying there. Forr, how will they wake if someone won't help to rouse them?

Again I wonder: What do we do with those sleeping around us? What do we do with our dead?


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The King is enthralled with your beauty!

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I know my Tutwiler girls laugh at me. They did several times last night. But I hope what I'm saying is beginning to really sink in.... because I so very badly want them to KNOW W-H-O they are.... simply because of WHOSE they are!

Our lesson last night was on our being "ambassadors" for God in His Kingdom. And how we live in a foreign land to represent Him. Represent... as in re-present (as I like to think of it).... re-present or to "present" (as in GIFT) Him again to those who don't know Him!

At the end of the lesson I reminded them of a story about me that I'd told them before. A silly one. But one that to me is really, really real... and means a lot to me (even in its craziness).

I was in the middle of teaching a Wednesday night's series at church about our INsides showing OUT. Several times I had reminded the girls (in our church group) of who we really are in God's Kingdom. His daughters. His "princesses". Our Father is The King of all kings. The Lord of all lords. Our Prince... our Knight in Shining Armor... was / is, no less than, The King's Son Himself! A girl in my class had made a gift for me for my birthday. It was a pink cowgirl hat... with ribbons and feathers dangling down the back in the girliest colors. After leaving the restaurant where she'd given it to me, I pulled off on the side of the Interstate and cried over how much it meant to me. The symbolism in that crazy looking hat! I felt I had been "crowned" by the King Himself... as if I'd been given a royal tiara that perfectly was individualized and made specifically to personally fit my head, my character, my personality. I went out of town soon after that blessing to visit an out-of-state best friend. I wore my hat along the way on the road and knew I looked silly to all those who passed. I kept thinking IF THEY ONLY KNEW what it meant!

I had to stop to get gas. I debated on rather to wear my "crown" inside the station where I'd stopped. I thought that if anyone asked that I would talk to them with an adopted accent and tell them that I am a princess from a foreign land, that my Father is The King, that I have been sent (by Him) here on a mission, to bring others back to Him as His adopted children.

I wasn't brave enough to go to that extreme. But I FELT the 'royal' blood that now poured through my veins! I felt the urgency of the mission that I'd been called to and thus sent on. I knew I now live on alien soil, only awaiting my time to go Home, but first there was work to be done!

The girls always laugh at me when I again remind them of that story. Their current 'home' (their alien place) right now consists of a prison. But just as surely as they were sent there because of something they had once done, they've now been redeemed!... bought with a price.... adopted as daughters (by the Heavenly King).... and they are now not only there because of what they've done, but also now there because of what they could do! Their mission (for the moment) is on that soil. And they are to tell others of the Prince that desires them... and the Father Who wants to adopt them... to give them a Life that they've only dreamed of yet never known.

Funny! I came home last night to my daughter packing for an out-of-town trip with a friend. You'll never guess what she held in her hand as she was leaving. A crown! A tiara! Only a fake one. But I laughed when I saw it! I thought: she is her mother's daughter! She KNOWS W-H-O she is... and feels like royalty! :)

I was thinking about the girls in my class and decided to look up the meaning of their names to see "who" I had sitting there before me on the days that we meet. I found we had:

Terry - "the harvester or reaper."

Geraldine - "mighty with a spear"

Rebecca - "servant of God"

Joy - "joy; rejoicing"

Alicia - "sweet; of nobel birth"

Leah - "weary"

Deborah - "honey bee"

Melinda - "honey"

Amber - "precious jewel; fierce"

Elaine - "light; shining light"

Gloria - "glory"

Connie - "strong willed or wise; constant; steadfastness"

Matty - "strong fighter; strong in war"

Anna - "gracious; favor or grace"

Janice - "gift from God; God is gracious"

Michelle - "like God; close to God"

Woe! True royalty sitting all around me! Me, as one, and sitting with daughters of a real live King! A REAL LIVE KING!!! In a real live Kingdom!!! 

How can I not be reminded of the verse, "The King is enthralled with your beauty, honor Him, for He is your Lord" ~ Psalm 45:11. Oh, at the beauty that sat all around me!!! Oh, at the beauty that our God sees!!
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I laughed til I cried!!!

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I got this in an email from a sweet friend of mine. I got so tickled when reading them that I could hardly see to read the next line... and hardly had the voice to continue to read them aloud. These are hilarious! My husband loved them! And some (perhaps all?) are at times a little too close for comfort!

NINE WORDS WOMEN USE... Just for fun 


(1) Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

 (2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

 (3) Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something(!), and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "Nothing" usually end in "Fine".

 (4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

 (5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of "Nothing".)


(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. "That's okay" means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake. 



(7) Thanks : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say 'You're welcome.' (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'You're welcome'.. That will bring on a 'Whatever'). 

(8) Whatever : Is a woman's way of saying...Go away! 

(9) Don't worry about it. I got it : Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man (or her children) to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.
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She begged for a king...

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I friend of mine Facebook messaged me to tell me that her daughter is getting married.


I messaged back telling her that I'd heard, my daughter had told me. I asked her what she thought about it.... telling her that I didn't know the guy so had no opinion of him. 


She replied:

"Well, I don't know how I feel truly. Or, maybe I do... I feel like I love her more than life itself and her decision is made and that I will be by her through thick and thin. Remember when the children of Israel begged for a King and God tried to warn them, but gave them what they wanted? Well..... that is the example that keeps coming to my mind..... The children of Israel and all that God did to give them what they wanted..... all the while knowing it wasn't the best thing... but still.... loving them beyond what we can comprehend. He is truly an amazing God and all that I know to do at this point in my life is to look at Him and try to do as close to what He would do as my human side will allow. I know that doesn't really answer the question.... well, yes it does.... because I know this is Spirit talk and we Spirit talk well together."


I wrote her back:


"My first thought (because of something I'd just written) was: He can turn the heart of a king!!! Because where I am right now (in prison), I am definitely being privy to see His workings in doing just that. Wow though.... in all that you wrote................... We do pray for "kings", don't we??!!?......... Not realizing the journey that they will one day take us on..... nor all that they'll require and take from us. We sure, too often, make this road we walk on harder than it ought to be, you know? I am reminded often of what I heard Jill Briscoe once say that someone said to her. She told her, "I'm living right next to King David." Woe! I know that you were talking about a different king (not King David, but King Saul), but even that one, at one time, was dangerous! 


Why do we so wish for, want, and long for kings? Kings of all sorts, really. Yes, kings as in knight-in-shining-armors. Kings, as in jobs with bosses. Kings, as in desires.... like drugs and drinking (though never at first would we see such as kings!)... as in things that rule us (without ever truly realizing that one day they will). Wow... you've prompted so many ponderings inside me..... I could go a thousand different directions from what you've provoked my mind into thinking. I'll try to resist and reel it all back in and rein it back to your direction............ You said that often we beg..... and that when we do, God gives us what we've begged for, pleaded to Him for, and wanted so badly......... How scary! How seriously badly we want it. But how scary! The great thing about God though.... is that (usually after a detour of horror), He can ransom it, redeem it, renew it, refuel it, make it better, show His glory in it, make it a Display of His Splendor. We may be scarred... but mended. Hurt... but healed. Broken.... but repaired and made better. And then, wildly used for His Glory! A testimony to tell of His Story.


Just remind her before she says her "I dos" of the Velveteen Rabbit..... You don't become real overnight.... it's when someone loves you for a very long, long time, not just to play with anymore, but really loves you through everything still, then you become real. To make it "real"... it takes a lot of tatters. You get forgotten and left in the rain sometimes. You get hurt. You get torn. Your skin tears. You become really shabby. Your hair falls out. Sometimes your eyes do. You'll be worn.... but you'll be "real." And everyone knows that once you're "real" you can never become unreal again.


Crazily, I said all of that to say what God said in His way even better. Love is patient! It's kind! It keeps NO record of wrong! It isn't easily angered. It isn't rude. It forgets. It keeps on. It always protects. It always trusts. It always hopes. It always perseveres. It doesn't self-seek...... It covers a multitude of sins!


Meanwhile.... before these "I dos" take place, I will be praying. God knows what I don't. I will fervently be seeking His will and His way and even His words to pray.


I love you! Oh goodness, girl, there's LOTS to do if there's soon to be a wedding! Oh my... the thought is staggering...........


But.... back to the king issue. What kind of "king" have you been praying for? You don't know it's a "king". It doesn't look like a king. No one's ever called it a king. But make no mistake, disguised as it may be, it may very well be a "king"... and if it's a "king"... underneath its deception it's mean, and it wants to control, master, and rule over you.
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So here's what I want you to do...

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Romans 12:1-3,

"So here's what I want you to do,

God helping you:

Take your everyday, ordinary life

- your sleeping, eating, going-to-work and walking-around life-

and place it before God as an offering.

Embracing what God does for you

is the best thing 
you can do for Him.

Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking.

Instead

 fix your attention on God.

You'll be changed

from the inside you.

Readily recognize what He wants from you,

and quickly respond to it.

Unlike the culture around you,

always dragging you down to its level of immaturity,

God brings the best out of you,

develops well-formed maturity in you.

I'm speaking to you out of deep gratitude for all that God has given me,

and especially as I have responsibilities in relation to you.

Living then, as every one of you does, in pure grace,

it's important that you not misinterpret yourselves as people who

are bringing this goodness to God.

No, 
God brings it all to you.

The only accurate way to understand ourselves

is by what God is

and by what He does for us,

not by what we are

and what we do for Him."

(The Message)

I love the old way that I am used to of seeing these Scriptures (in the NIV version)... but today, I was blessed by seeing them afresh in a new way.

I was blessed too by the way the New Living Translation put half of the second verse, "Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think."

Again, "FIX YOUR ATTENTION ON GOD"... and "YOU'LL BE CHANGED from the inside you."

"So," as the writer writes, "here's what I want you to do...".(I love that line!).... simply give your everything to Jesus... and let Him, the Son of God, transform you!

It sounds so simple. And, the thing of it is, it is(!)... but only when we simply just do just as He's said! Hey, "FIX YOUR ATTENTION".... and the rest is up to Him! :)

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She's back... and the news devastates me!

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The news was like a punch. It hurt. My breath seemed almost kicked right out of me. I felt sick. I felt weak. I wanted to cry. I still do.


I just found out she's back. And I so don't want her to be! It's almost ruined my day. I wish it weren't so.


I met her for the first time at 8 o'clock on a November 9th, 2010, Monday morning. Having never met her before then, we picked her up from prison upon her release. I wrote about it then. You can meet her here (Kimberly). 


I guess unconscious concern for her as I was working the next day popped a horrified visual inside my head. Sadly, my visual proved almost providential. The traps, indeed, were set. She took the bait. She reached for the cheese (click here). The spring snapped. And she got caught again.


Really.... I don't know what to say. I'm sad................... But hopefully, I'll see her soon. I can't wait until I get to.


Ugh! I hate the evil schemes of the enemy!
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An Update to the Update... and the post that followed

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Wow. 


I just got up off the floor from bawling. I mean, for real, it was the complete uncontrolled embarrassingly ugly cry. And while there I kept saying to my Savior, "What are You doing? What are You doing? What are You doing?"


I said a whole lot more than that. We had a great intense unadulterated pouring out of overwhelmation on my part. I keep saying to others that God is blowing my mind.... well, minute by minute He continues to.... and I can hardly, at times, anymore stand up under it.


After finishing my earlier post.... I mean, even before I had a chance to "publish" it, I got a call from  the commissioner's office. Without even knowing what I've been saying on here the past couple of days, the man that called told me that I have "no idea what is about to burst open. This is about to be BIG!" My response was that that didn't surprise me.


He said that he'd just spent the last hour with SBC. For those that don't know, Justice C is a former Chief Justice of a state's Supreme Court.... who may (only time will tell) one day run for governor. He told me that she said, "I don't want to steal her from you, but I want to meet this girl that I keep hearing about." Hmmm... without realizing it, that "girl" is me! She, too, has a heart to help those incarcerated (wild to think such from a judge!)... and who knows where all her plans plan to go from there?? Partnering of some sort with us somehow, I know for sure.


"You know what this means, don't you?" Dr. L said to me.


No. It sounds huge, but no, I really don't.


He said, "This means that we're about to have possible input into the legislature. All of this is about to get official" And... he said a lot of other stuff that went way over my head. 


All I know is.... is that I don't know. All I know is..... is that God does! And I keep thinking about what I said (in the earlier "MOVIE NIGHT in the prison" post that I wrote), "Thank YOU, Lord God, for loving me!!! Thank YOU for loving the "least of these"!!! And woe... blow our socks off tonight as we start our new programs (also behind bars) exercising for Jesus!!!!! They have no idea, do they Lord? And I grin as I say that, for I feel You saying back, You have no idea either, Sharon! Just wait! As it is now, your mind cannot even begin to fathom!!!!" .......... WHOA!""


Wow! We'll just wait and see then.... because as it is now, right now,... I'm awed at whatever it is that He's doing without me even realizing whatever it is that that "whatever it is" is............ It's a good thing that I don't have to figure it all out, because He already has......... and as I keep telling Him, thank You for choosing and allowing me to be a part in whatever it is that You're doing. I LOVE those incarcerated! I mean, I LOVE (with an unexplainable love... with a love that so often loves so big that it hurts!) those in prison! Man, woman, and child. No matter where they've been or what they've done. No matter what they look like. No matter their size or their color. I have a love for them that is beyond  my own comprehension. I want them all to know Jesus! I want them all to feel (and to be filled!) with His freedom!


The sweet part of it is... actually, the best part of it is... that GOD loves them BIGGER than I do! It's God that's placed the love for them inside me! And more than I ever could, God wants to free them more than anybody! He sent His Son to save them. And sometimes... on some days... He sends me.......................


WHO is like the God that we serve!!!!!! Who can fathom His wonder!


"..."Who is like You, O Lord? You rescue the poor from those too strong for them, the poor and needy from those who rob them."........... "For who in the skies above can compare with the Lord? Who is like the Lord among the heavenly beings?.... He is more awesome than all who surround Him. O Lord God Almighty, who is like You? You are mighty, O Lord, and Your faithfulness surrounds You." - Ps 35:10b-11; 89:6-8.
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Oh my! Look what I found!

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Wow.


I don't know where all that this has been. I don't know how long I've had it. I don't know how it ended up in my drawer. I don't ever remember seeing it before. But. It sure was a wild feeling finding it here today.


A cancelled check.


Drawn on: Union Bank & Trust Co.


Against the account: Wadsworth Angus Farm


Written to: St. Margaret's Hospital


Dated: October 5, 1962


For: Wadsworth, Mrs. Sally


In the amount of: $130.00


Signed by the very hand of my daddy: Sonny Wadsworth, Jr.


The check won't mean much to anybody anymore. It's old. Already cashed. No longer worth monetary value. The account no longer exists. The bank doesn't either. Nor does the Angus farm. And saddest of all, my daddy's gone too (though the happy part of that is that he's moved to Heaven).


So. Why so significant? Why so exciting? Why so priceless? What is it about it that so moved me?


Me and my twin sister were born on October 6th, 1962. By Sally Wadsworth. Fathered by Sonny. In St. Margaret's Hospital. Just a mere one day after this check was written. Whoa... at all the what-alls that's happened since!


I miss my daddy! I miss the farm! Crazily, that bank was ours for so many years, that I miss the bank and hate when they closed. As for the hospital??? Want to know about the hospital??? My head is doing its shaking-back-and-forth thing again. My lips are grinning. Because you know what? That same hospital that I was born in that no longer exists? It's now our Criminal Justice Building. That same building that I've been wildly excepted into without asking. That same building that I've been given the keys to without human reasoning. It's where the Dept of Corrections is found.... with the Re-Entry Coordinator that's for some reason (God!) has decided to adopt me into voluntarily assisting him.... with his office in the commissioner's offices... who has also welcomed me into their world. 


Wow. That check is priceless... for a whole lot of reasons! Most too tender to put words to.


But I find it wild, also, to know that when God had my mom at one time birthing me there that He already knew then that one day He'd bring me right back to that same building to be doing His Kingdom's business in! A "birthing" of another kind! One, right now, that is too huge to fathom! Too huge to wrap my mind around! Too huge to even begin to wonder at what all is soon to be happening......


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That was SO MUCH FUUUUNNNNN!!!

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Update from last night (after yesterday's post)....


And... as this post's title reads: THAT WAS SOOOOOOO MUCH FUUUUUNNNN!!!!!!


I bet I echoed that a thousand times after I got home last night. "Oh, that was so much fun!" "That was so much fun!" "That was sooo muuuuch FUN!" The kids eventually started mocking me and echoing me as well. But, I'd been filled to spill.... and I couldn't put a lid on it. It's excitement kept spilling out of me every time I opened my mouth. My heart was full... and my tongue had to tell of it!


Woo! God has just opened a door that the whole campus wants to flock to. The debilitating part of it is that our space is so limited. And sadly, too, our time!


Look at me. I'm a constant glutton. Give me a little... and I want more. Yet in this case we've already been given a LOT... and this "lot" has only whetted my appetite.... and from this one spark, my vision (my want!) has sparked to much greater wanting! It'd be too long to even begin to write here of all of my mind's dreaming!!!!!!!!!!!! But trust me on this.... the wheels are turning!!! And I'm so excited where this might could lead that I can hardly stand it!!!!


It was perfect! It was fun! The girls loved it! The warden loved it! The instructors loved it! The chaplain loved it! The participating officers loved it! The UN-participating officers (those that chose to be by-standers gawking and laughing at our ridiculousness) loved it! And now... we ALL left with a "continual lust for more"!!! We are GREATLY anticipating our Thursday night's meeting!


Oh Lord, talk about me dreaming.... I'm sure my mind cannot even being to fathom where Your mind is going on this. What Your plans are! What Your purpose in all of this is. I'm sure that  my mind can only think "this" far.... while Your mind KNOWS and Your mind has NO LIMIT! And thankfully, Lord, not only do You have the knowing, and the unfathomation (made-up word) of it.... but You've also got the power and the ability to accomplish it! You, dear Lord, can turn the heart of a king....... and oh my, how clearly obvious that is here!!! You so blow my mind! Do this thing, Lord! Raise up Your Kingdom behind the fenced in walls of a prison. Change and transform these girls from the INside while they're on the inside... to then send them out so that others can see You! I cannot wait. My excitement has me holding my breath and hardly breathing..........................


I feel (I KNOW!) that I can only see the tip of the ice burg.... and what lies beneath this thing that's started (that is only one, lately of so many) that's yet to be revealed has me baffled to speechlessness! I left our Zumba class and after quickly changing ran to our Bible study. I sat there stunned as I told our group of girls there, "Oh my goodness, girls.... I think we have no idea what's about to happen. Ya'll may not can see it from where ya'll are sitting.... but girls, God's favor and focus is ALL OVER this prison!" I told them to pray... to pray like they've never prayed before.... because God is opening doors and doing things that doesn't make sense to man. May He finish what He's started......... and rock our worlds, blowing our minds and changing our lives forever eternally with His wonder! May He light a fire inside those walls whose fire is wildly contagious! May He (as I prayed on the very first night that I ever walked in) turn this Maximum Security Women's Prison into a Maximum Security-IN-Jesus-Christ Facility. May He raise up mighty warriors and send them out doing His Kingdom's Business when they leave. Wow, woe, whoa..... there is no limit of what can be done with Him!


Thank You, dear Jesus, for this incredibly wild adventure and opportunity that You've allowed me to be a part of! Give me vision... and boldness.... and may every day I be about doing all that You've purposed and called and planned for me to do in this wondrous plan that You've come up with. I never could have guessed all this..... and now, You've got my engines roaring! Point me in the direction.. and fuel me.... guiding me and empowering me every single step of my way! Awed! I'm simply awed at my Savior and at all the work that He's done and is STILL doing! Glory! Glory! Glory! I love You, Jesus!
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The countdown draws closer

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As silly as this sounds..... and as excited as I've been.... now, as the countdown begins..... I'M SCA-ARRRED!!! 


I'm dressed. I'm ready. I'm early. I've got my clothes packed for a quick change after exercise class in order to go straight (stinky, sweaty, melted and all) from there to teaching Bible. I'm prayed up. For them. For me. For the instructors. For the officers. For the warden. For everyone in proximity. And now... I'm thinking...... .............. ......... ............... ............ ...... WHAT IN THE WORLD AM I DOING ATTEMPTING TO play a part and participate with them??????????? I don't DO exercise! I've not exercised in..... what???.... how many years (if EVA!)??? And here I am trying to start out cold-turkey in a Zumba class? Okay, with prisoners, who maybe have never exercised either.... BUT STILL!!!!!!!!!!!!! Where is my pride???? (And I know exactly where my pride is.... my vanity is hollering: "STOP HER!!!!!")


Oh no! Somebody hide me!


This sure oughta be fun. I'm sure I'll be soaring upon my hobbling exit. I'm sure I'll leave as high as a kite just as I left prison last night. But for the moment, fear grips me...............................


Dun...dun...dun... dunnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!


Okay... all that.... and even while shaking, I'm grinning......
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MOVIE NIGHT in the prison!

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I can't tell you how often I leave that place wishing I had a picture! Their faces were priceless! They're such a fun crowd! Always animated! Boisterously verbal! They holler. They laugh loud. They talk to the screen. They talk to the characters. They yell at the ones they feel worthy of yelling at. They encourage the one they feel need encouragement. They praise Jesus! They "Amen!" They "Glory!" They dog the devil. They get so into it. They're great participators. I LOVE being a part with them! They're often more fun to watch than the movie we're showing. 


I was simply soaring when I left. I came home and my daughter asked me what I'd been drinking? She was kidding , of course. But I'd been drinking Jesus and yes, filled with HIS Spirit!


The girl that I go in with on Sunday nights is quite a character herself. Older lady, but beautiful and very young looking. She's a fiesty thing. She went in early and set everything up. She'd spent the whole afternoon popping popcorn to bring. She couldn't stay though. So after set-up she left and I was left manning the program alone. I called to tell her how it went after I got home. She wasn't there, her husband answered. After getting off the phone with him, I wondered what he makes of her? She's so fired up and full of Jesus! She's bottled up wine and spilling over on all who near her! You add her fire to mine and we're a serious fire that no man can put out! I love the people who God has coupled me with to serve! I'm constantly floored and amazed at all that He's doing! Boy... BoY... I mean, BOY... He's sure all over and about the prisons right now! He's sure got a mighty thing going!!!!!!


I lay in bed last night... awed with His favor! Shaking  my head at what He's accomplishing that makes no sense in man's mind to accomplish. I often think of the song that sings, "His eye is on the sparrow".... and the "sparrows" that He's so seeing right now with mighty magnified vision are celled in the prisons. If only they realized His intense and intentional focus... and yes, like I said: His favor!


Wow, Lord,.... I don't quite know what to say. Tears are streaming as I wish I could verbalize my heart's filling/feeling......... I'll never be able to thank You enough for the grace You have... Your mercy.... but most of all, Your unconditional, unfailing, never-ending, all encompassing LOVE! It cannot be measured! It cannot be contained! It cannot help but run and seek to show itself to all of us... even those, who'll never chose to see and accept it. Who are You that loves us so... and who goes to such extremes and measures in hope to woo and captivate us in order to SAVE us?


Thank YOU, Lord God, for loving me!!! Thank YOU for loving the "least of these"!!! And woe... blow our socks off tonight as we start our new programs (also behind bars) exercising for Jesus!!!!! They have no idea, do they Lord? And I grin as I say that, for I feel You saying back, "You have no idea either, Sharon! Just wait! As it is now, your mind cannot even begin to fathom!!!!"............. WHOA!


Do it, Lord Jesus! Do what You do!!!!! With all power and praise and honor and glory... magnify Your glorious name!
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