Just as God commissioned and sent the disciples.... He commissions and sends us today. And just like Moses and Joshua and Jeremiah and so many others, I'm just as scared as they were when they went.
What's the fear, I wonder?
Failure...
Wow. That popped out fast! So fast, in fact, that after I'd typed the answer to the question it stunned me. So much so that I just stopped a minute and found myself stayed starring at it. I wasn't expecting it. Or, maybe, I was expecting more. I didn't know I knew the answer. And I guess I didn't, until my fingers typed it for me.
What's my fear? Failure! Failing! I so love the Lord! I so love His Word! I so love those girls that He sends me to minister to! What if I fail them? What if I can't get the Word across? What if I don't present it in such a way that they can hear it? What if I mess it up???
I'll be speaking for this coming up Wednesday night service in the women's prison. And I'm torn, I'm not sure what to say. Actually, a subject has been placed on my heart and hounding me for months. But in my sureness of it, I'm unsure of it. I guess, I'm unsure of how to present it. And unsure, also, of how they'll take it.
And yet, I know that with the sending, with the commissioning, with the command to go, God is faithful to equip me with the Word He wants told! I know this! I tell it others this! And yet when it's me, my insecurity peaks and does its dead-level best to make me miserable in my doubtfulness.
"Go. I am sending you"..... Well, wow! When You hear HIM! And really realize it's really HIS voice!
Funny... I had typed this yesterday, and today, He reminded me TWICE with HIS sending again! TWICE, I heard the "go" and the reminder that HE is the One sending! And with that twice, I was reminded both times, too, that with the sending He ALWAYS equips the sender!
I LOVE His kindness! I love His love! I love His patience! I love His reminders!
And... speaking of His reminders..... without MY meaning for HIM to, look what He just happened to have me land upon today: Dreaming of the vehicle she'll drive (click on the blue link to take you there). Wow, an old post... but woe, at His point in His reminding me in it!
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