Their hearts made mine cry!

I just left my PWHD (Princess Warriors in Human Disguise) group of inmate girls. Their hearts made mine cry. We're all girls. We think the same things. Feel the same things. Want the same things. We have the same hurts. Their hearts have been broken just as ours on the "outside" have. They've made mistakes just like we did. They're living their consequences day in and day out year after year after year. And it's hard. But they're doing it. Studying the bible as they go. Seeking God's forgiveness, His mercy, His grace. Reaping His love and the healing He brings!... even if sometimes it's in baby steps. Even if sometimes it's one step forward, seven steps back.....

We had a celebration today. We just finished one bible study before heading soon to a next one. The warden gave us permission to take snacks in. They oohed and ahhed over the pink plates I brought. And then did the same for the pink napkins. You can only imagine how excited they were about the food that went on it. I love their excitement over even the least of things! It's such an honor and privilege to serve them! It's me that leaves with the priceless reward... every time I meet with them!

I got so excited myself today. Just by being there. Just by reminding them that I KNOW THAT MY REDEEMER LIVES... because He's redeemed ME!

I shared with them one of the scriptures that simply sums up my life. It's found in Psalm 119:92 and says, "If Your law had not been my delight, I would have perished in my affliction" !!!

I told them that it's real, and it's true! He and His Word is the greatest Thrill of my life! If not for it, I'd be wretched. I told them that the reason I stay myself in His word is because it's the only thing that saves me. "The joy of the Lord is my strength" (Neh 8:10). And I say that daily, because the joy of the Lord is!

If His word had not been my delight after my misery and my failures, I truly would have perished in my misery! I would have been lost, I would have given up, I would have been destroyed! His Word surprised me with it's "delight"ness! If I hadn't found delight from Him in my turmoil, I would have sought delight from somewhere else. I like to be delighted! I'm going to seek delight from something! And my Lord didn't disappoint me! Any other "delight" would have been a fake facade, and led me only to misery. My God has brought me out of the pit. Ransomed me, redeemed me, refueled me, and restored me. And now I bask in His joy... and it's there (in that joy) that when "trouble" comes that I find my strength! Again, "If His law had not been my delight, I would have perished in my affliction."

Like I said, "I know that my Redeemer lives," because I am living proof of His redemption!

I cried all the way home after leaving the girls. They're so sweet. I know they're wrong (or that they've done wrong), but I hate that they're locked up. And have NO air-conditioning!!! It's horrid around here! The heat is sweltering! They messed up... horribly... and yes, they're now paying the consequences for their actions. It's never off their minds. Even while seeking healing from our Healer, they can't forget what they've done. One girl in particular today started getting emotional, tearing up, but trying not to cry. She's the "tough" girl in the room, the one who rarely shows emotion, so she got ragged pretty hard for "feeling" out loud by the other girls. All in fun, not ridiculing. Wow! I love those girls! They haven't a clue how much I love them... and how much I want life to work out for them. What a blessing God has given me through them! My reward is overwhelming! I can't thank God enough for His goodness!

This was sweet. My youngest daughter and her friend helped prepare me with the snacks to bring. They planned the menu for me and grocery shopped for all the ingredients. They left to go out of town on Sunday, so left me with detailed instructions of what to do to make the dishes they'd chosen. I told the inmates about what they'd done. They loved it! They loved their hearts that showed they cared for theirs. And so, they all wrote them thank you notes on one of the pink napkins. I read it on my drive home. How sweet they are! That's what started my tears and made me cry. At the end of one girl's note she wrote, "P.S. Thanks for sharing your Mom with us! We love her!"

Woe at the rewards God has blessed and given to me through those girls! Who would have thought to... but Him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No doubt there are many people who hate these ladies that I now call mine for the things that they've done. But being priviledged to go on the inside, here's the angle I see. Talking about my heart... I can only imagine what God's heart feels for those girls. As He sees their hurt, sees their sorrow, hears their cries, hears their prayers, catches their tears, cares for each one, and sees them turn His pages to seek Him in His word..................................................... I can only say, it's a beautiful picture and beautiful hearts that I see!