They called him "Fancy"

Being that I just pulled up a very old thing that I'd once written about my oldest daughter, I can't leave my other two children in the cold. I must show you something that I written once about them too. :)

So today, we'll continue with Tabor. Tomorrow I'll share my Sabrina. 

May 13, 2006

Today's my man-child's birthday.Thirteen years have past since God has given his entrance into our world! Who would have ever thought the joy he'd bring with him? The love that he'd take? The hearts he'd steal? The laughter he'd share? I never dreamed then of the blessings wrapped up inside the skin of that child and the pleasure that would be released all in the right time. Who knew then what he'd mean to me now?

As I'm typing this Blog he's sitting shirtless on the sofa opposite mine, eating wings from Zaxby's and licking the juice that drips down his fingers; staring at the box (TV) in front of him that captures the attention of millions of people all over the world. He has an ugly scab that's capped an earlier evil wound from some sort of fall or skid or another. It's his regular attire for which he most wears - full boy, running at full speeds in whatever is his mind's focus for its moment. It gives cause for lots of bumps and cuts and bruises. Big brown eyes and having a good hair day! He may be mine, but he's LQQKing mighty fine sitting where he's sitting right across from me, totally unaware that he's my focus for my moment while his focus is stayed upon his box. Me watching him while he's watching it. What he doesn't know (and won't know until he has his own) is that I've been watching him for 13 years, and I'll continue to watch him every day for the rest of my life whether I can see him with my physical eyes or not. He's a constant focus in my mind's eye, my heart, my being, my everything. My goodness, how I love that child so!

I wrote what I'm copying and pasting below two years ago (in 2004), but it seems to still fit for today. I thought that I would paste and fit it here on this 13th year of my son's envasion into my heart and into my world.

They called him: "fancy".

"fancy? fancy?," I asked, "Why "fancy"?"

"Because," I was told, "he's a purty boy!"

And he IS! And he's MINE! and I love him, And indeed, he IS a purty boy!

I picked my gorgeous guy up (my God-given 'man-child') from camp yesterday evening. He barely had time to oblige my hug when I arrived to see him - for he had a girl, and he was grinning, and he was HOLDING HER HAND!

Her name was Jennifer, and she's from Prattville. NOT, mind you, from somewhere far away like: Houston, Texas; or Portland, Oregon; or San Diego, California; or Baltimore, Maryland, or even Tallahassee, Florida would do! But NO, she's from Prattville, Alabama - driving distance between my house and hers. Waaaaay, waaaaaaaaaay, waaaaaay toooo close to home! I liked her. She was cute - but my son seemed fixated on her - and he was holding her hand!

Last Sunday night we dropped him off at his campsite for the week. As I did, and he went about his way (oblivious to the fact that I was even there - I don't think that the girls saw me or even realized who I was) I heard the girls flocking together and saying in ultra-loud whispers, "Tabor's here! Tabor's here! Tabor's here!"

My lips spread into the grin that flowed from the swelling inside my heart, because it couldn't help but to, for Tabor's MINE! And I'm so proud of him. I just politely backed back, turned around, and tiptoed out of their oblivion. I went back to my vehicle and said to those still enclosed inside there, "Y'all, all those girls are running to each other and saying, "Tabor's here! Tabor's here! Tabor's here!" And I kept grinning, because my heart was still swelling inside!

Then last night (after the week), we went to pick him up; and that's when I was introduced to Jennifer. To my surprise, Ta left as soon as he saw me. I went inside his cabin to pack his things and load them up in our vehicle in order to take them home. I was more excited to see him, than he was excited to see me - for he was still excited over seeing Jennifer!

"But he's still mine!" I thought, "And I'm the one that gets to take him home!"

He told me as soon as we got in the Durango to go, "I know her phone number!" Not, "I missed you, mom!" or "Man, it's good to see you!" But wearing the grin from his thrill he blurted, "I know her phone number!" Like I was gonna get excited over it or something! What? - And who cares? - And can we lose it quickly?

We went to chapel before we left (the last event of the week) and I sat with Tim and Lucy and Sabrina. Tabor sat two rows up in front of us. With Jennifer.

He held her hand there - and grinned! The dad sitting next to me was actually honored by having his daughter choose to sit next to him, though I doubt that he even realized his honor. My son sat two rows up - not with me, mind you - but with her.

They called out each child's name to give them some kind of paper, an award of sorts. One child's name was called after another. A few hoots and hollers in between. When they called Tabor's name the whole place hollered. And most stood while they cheered. I'm still thinking, he's MINE, as my heart soared! Even if he wasn't holding my hand, he STILL held a tight grip on my heart!

We got into the vehicle to come home, and before we could even pull out of the camp's drive Tabor was already saying, "I miss camp." He's been gone from me a whole week and I've missed him terribly, and thought of him everyday; as of yet I've not been told that he has missed me. This morning he's already up and out and gone, but he talked to me a lot before he left. He still didn't mention missing me, but he misses camp, and he misses Jennifer; I can tell - he talked a LOT about JENNIFER!

Again (!), as I wrote of before, another Season's come. And I see its forecast. And I don't know that I like it!

Last night before bed was when he told me that they called him "fancy" at camp. That is when I asked him, "Why?" And that's when he told me the reason that they had given him was, "Because you're a purty boy." I know he's mine and all, but even I have eyes and can see, and yes, he is! He IS a pretty boy! My, he is a handsome thang! Handsome, handsome HANDSOME thang! My heart's still soaring in my overflowing feeling of what I feel for him in it. I DO love that man-child that God graced and gifted me with!

And if I were in the heavens, and had the power to do so; I, too, would open up the clouds and look down below and say to him and to all within hearing, "This is my son in whom I am well pleased! And I am so proud of him!"

Why? Why? Why am I so pleased and so proud? Not yet, because of any great thing that he's done, but because he's mine, and I bore him, he belongs to me, and I love him so.

I know that God was proud of His Son when He opened up those clouds to tell Him and to tell us so, but I don't think it was just because of what He "done",- it because of Who He was. Who He is. And Who He was to come. Because Jesus was HIS, and He just plain out LOVED HIM so! And God couldn't contain His love inside - the swelling inside His heart HAD to tell Him and tell us! For "from the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks." And this was one of those times when God HAD to just say it out LOUD!!@! The overflow couldn't help but to become vocal and tell it!

That's what He's done for us, too! NOT because of any great thing that we've "done" - but because we're His! And because HE bore us! And because He loves us so! This time His heart's overflow became "vocal" by sending His Son to show us, so that we could see, and so that we could hear, and so that we could know! HE opened up those clouds for us, just as He did for Jesus; and didn't just say it with words from His throne on high, but God sent His Son down through those clouds to walk the ground where we walk, Jesus Himself became the vocal to tell us so. He became real vocally like - by hanging on a cross - to get the message across to us! He didn't just "talk the talk" to us, but He walked the talk out LOUD!

Yesterday, I was ecstatically proud of my son, not because of anything he had done, but simply because he's mine, I'm his, he belongs to me. My Father is ecstatically proud of me, not because of anything that I've done, but simply because I am His, He's mine, and He loves me so. So He sent His Son to pick up the tab to pay all the debt that I owe, because I couldn't get Home any other way. I didn't have enough money or anything else to pay the ticket's fare to get me there. God sent His Son to pay the cost because HE WANTS TO bring me Home! Simply because (and for no other reason) He loves me so! He feels an even greater, "She's MINE" toward me, than I feel for my son. The love inside His heart for me soared and swelled, bringing an overflow. And His overflow came in the name of Jesus!

He may allow me to "hold hands with Jennifer" for a while, but when the lights are out, and the camp's week is all done, He's riding up on His white horse, and He's coming to get me and bringing me HOME!

Fancy me, I got to bring "fancy" home! And fancy, God sending His Son one to bring me Home to Him when the time comes!

Written: May 13, 2006

"NO BOYS ALLOWED!"

After reading my sweet daughter's latest post (See her blog here: Tired of "the Game?" ), I couldn't resist from going back through my old files and finding a copy of a letter I once wrote to a friend of mine (on February 8, 2004) about her (my daughter’s) new season in life......(Woe, 6 years ago!). After reading it again, I couldn't resist from copying and pasting and posting it here. It's old, but perhaps someone else can relate to what I could.

Dear Rhonda,

I LIKE the sign that you suggested to me for my daughter:

But, as I said in my earlier email, I fear that I have just entered a door, stepping into a new season of life that I KNOW I’m not ready for. And I don’t think I like it!!!!!

Mr. X …… the one who came knocking tonight … and I let him IN!!! … to my utter amazement: I let him in!!!!!!!... he is the very same one who dug deep into my daughter’s heart and opened the gush of waters from the depths of the soul within her, causing her to sob buckets of gut-wrenching tears earlier this very week.

Why?

How?

Basically because he “broke up with her.”

I watched my daughter bawling horribly. Mostly though, I have just listened to the horrid pain of her heart that was too horrible to contain inside her. With the gushing from within her, I thought: I’ve entered a new season … and I don’t think I like it! A season that lasts a long time. And a season that brings many torrents of rains with it. For very seldom does this season bring only “showers.” What it usually brings with it is more termed as “thunderstorms,” and dark, dark, dark lonely nights with overwhelmingly sadness-filled hours.

Lucky for Mr. X On the very same day this week when he did that to her they got back together. He mended his ways! I told Prissy later, “The one who cause the storm also brought the rainbow. Lucky for Him!” … Because this mom HATED watching the storm, and hated not being able to prevent it! And HATED knowing that there are MANY more “Mr. X” out there. They're just wearing different names and different faces, different sizes from different places … but all wearing the same gloves … Using my daughter’s heart as a punching bag to pound and bruise and break along the way.

I stood alone in my room as I listened to Prissy sob and understood a little more of God. I talked to Him about it. I can love her with all of my heart, but I can’t touch her pain in the midst of it ………………………… because she guards it and recoils, and holds it, and nurses it, and rocks it, and stews in it, and basks in it, and watches it over and over in her mind as her own video in which she plays the leading role, rewinding the scene of the pain of it over and over and over again and making it hurt, and won’t let it go ….. until ONLY SHE is ready!

I can know that she’ll be okay, but she won’t understand it, or believe it – if I tell her so. It’s a journey that she alone must take ... we all do, a season that comes whether we’re ready for it or not …… as if it says to us while jumping at us with a spook: “Peek a Boo! Ready or not, here I come!” It runs in for the kill and begins its battering! Ugh! Rhonda! This time, this season is messing with MY child! And did I say, I really don’t like it!

Rhonda, she’s only 13 and TALLER than her mother already!!!!!!!!!! She’s beautiful! With the prettiest smile. And laughter that one would melt for! She has a beautiful laugh!!!!!! Such a beautiful smile!!!! A smile that covers her whole face!!!!!!! And lights up her eyes. Oh! How I love her laugh! And now, the season’s come that tries to rob that from her! That tries to beat it out of her! That puts forth all of its efforts to kill, and steal, and destroy her in it! How can I tell her big enough for her to hear to, “Baby, Guard that with all that’s in you!!! … and don’t let any person take that from you!!!”

Ah, she’s fine. I’m fine. We both survived it! We got over it quick enough, though the night seemed longer than it was. Then, two days later, Mr. X breaks up with her again. Well, not really, that’s not the way it happened. This time, she was more ready for it, and had learned to read the signs ahead of time, and saw it coming … so she (like we all learn) beat him to the punch and said, “Let’s just be friends,” to save her face, and her dignity … and this time, she DISGUISED her pain and HID it! It’s a cycle, no doubt, that she will get better and better at … she’ll paint the face, she’ll mask the pain, she’ll fake the feeling, and she’ll cover and conceal it with all of her might … because we know of no other way to handle the pain of it! I hate that we’ve begun our season!

Okay, so let me tell you a little of Mr. X. He really does not have a lot to do with my feelings that I’ve written above. He’s just representing the icon of the season that I’m talking about. Prissy and Mr. X have been what they call: “going out” for almost a month! To her it seems a lifetime! Why in the world they call it “going out” when they don’t “go” anywhere. I have no idea. But that’s the new generation’s naming of it. They talk some, but not much, he doesn’t go to the same school. He wanted to come over with a couple of his friends four weeks ago (as they scouted the neighborhood on their Mule), but I was going out-of-town, and I was caught TOTALLY UNPREPARED for even the idea of it!!!!!!!! A boy wants to come over to see my daughter?????????? What? And WhY? And I don’t think so!!!!!!!!!! So, I ran them off with only the thought of it in their heads! I told them, “No!” And they didn’t come near my door!

After their breakup TWICE this week he shows up at the ballgame she’s attending. WHY? I just wonder and want to know: Why? What for? For what purpose? What’s its meaning? Didn’t we just breakup? … and finito the relationship (IF you can call it that … but after typing that word I’ve decided that I DON’T like that word!). And then today, he POPS (“Ready or not, here I come!”) up at my door!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Again, I wonder, “Why?” And I think and notice that: THIS time he doesn’t ask first before he comes!!!! He just pops up, and slinkers around the possible “NO!” that he might have gotten, had he bothered to present the question!

I suppose that all is well, and it's okay … but I thought, too, that he brought with him as he knocked at my door, another season that I’m not ready for: Boys! - invading my world! And at my daughter’s expense! HOW MUCH will it cost her???? HOW MUCH will it cost her??????? How can I not think of the song:

“Somebody’s knocking, should I let him in?

Lord, it’s the devil, would You look at him ……

I never dreamed, he’d have blue eyes and blue jeans….”

These thoughts keep rolling around in my mind as I am writing this to you:

I looked into Season’s face today … or at least one of them … one of the many faces he wears.

I wanted to shut the door.

I wanted to slam the door in his face,

and run,

and not let him in …

But I’d done that 4 weeks ago …

and like the ground hog comes out of his hole,

and comes out and sees his shadow … or doesn’t … whichever it is (?)

His shadow was seen … (or wasn’t) … and I prevented Season from coming for an almost six weeks …

yet, really, only four.

Season came knocking at my door again today … and this time

I could not prevent him from coming in,

though I wanted so desperately to!

BUT!

Season was set in time from the very beginning,

I just am not ready for his coming …

but ready or not ………

…… like it or don’t,

Season’s come!

I didn’t expect him …

I think and wonder, “Why?”

I was warned, it was predicted, I’ve lived through the season …

this same season’s come and gone for years … since time began …

“Why?” would not expect him? …

Self denial, I suppose, denying the inevitable …

Season’s here …

and I can’t make him go!

… what will Season do to my daughter?

Later this is what I felt God said to me so loud in my heart that night after I had penned that and gone to bed:

“Sharon, yes, season is here. The storm has come. Your daughter has just entered the season in which the floods will come, the winds will blow, and the wind will beat upon that house that encases your daughter’s soul and spirit … but she can and she will weather the storm if her house is built upon Me. Oh yes, Satan will try to huff and puff and blow her house down, he will beat upon that house with gruesome and cruel blows … but My houses are stronger that Satan’s blows.” I was flabbergasted at the picture that He showed me!

The rhyme: This is the House that Jack Built stopped me in my tracks not so long ago as the thought of it entered my mind: “This is the house that Jack built…” Remember the rhyme? It’s been all over my thoughts lately, because I realized that I’ve been building little houses day after day after day, brick after brick after brick, for as many years now as my child is old. Yes, I know that we each, even they, when they stand before God at Judgment will answer for themselves … but no matter how you want to word it … I’ve been helping in the building of these houses for years.

The time of testing has come to see what kind of house that this one is made of … and I can’t put my house in front of hers to weather the winds of the storms that blow toward her. Oh!, that she could hear the sounds of the winds as it blows and recognize the disguises he wears, and the bait he puts before her as just that: bait! Oh!, that she would recognize Satan’s deceit! And that when the wind is stilled - her house still stands!

Ah... as I said earlier, it's been several years since I wrote that. Meet Prissy... though this is a more recent picture it's still an old one, it's not a picture of when I first wrote this:

"It could happen to anybody."

Another inmate told me this... "We're no different than anybody else. Others are no different than us. Anything that any of us in this room have done... it could have happened to anybody if under the same circumstances."

She told me that people used to call her Barbie. She's tall. Blonde. Her hair now short from what used to be long. She's still pretty. Beautiful! Has great facial features. Nice cheek bones. A good figure. I could tell she was nervous. I liked her instantly.

Initially she sat as far across the room from me as she could. Before our time was done, she came and sat in the very next seat right next to mine.

I could tell she wanted me to like her, accept her, not judge her. As I mentioned in my previous post, we were having a Bible Study slash Preparing them for Future Employment time together. I learned that she was athletic. Liked sports. Was once good at it. And was a former Life Guard on a beach somewhere.

It was also obvious that she was scared of the outside. Not wanting to stay on the in.... But really afraid of getting out. Scared of rejection. Scared she'd be judged. Scared that she'd be passed-over for another because of her past and something she'd once done.

As she prepares for possible parole and thus planning for employment she's afraid of how the "outside" will see her, think of her, treat her. She's afraid she'll be shunned, that she won't be given a chance, that no one will see her past her Past... the thing that she'd done, the thing that she's serving time for. She's afraid that when her time has been served, that she'll still be serving time on the out. I wanted to tell her they won't look at her differently, but I couldn't, because I was afraid that most will.

That's when she said, "We are no different than anybody else. Others are no different than us. Anything that any of us in this room have done... it could have happened to anybody if under the same circumstances." And if not but for the grace of God, I'm afraid that she's close to right. If we had been born where she had, lived in the same abuse, been taught and brought up as she was, been exposed to what she was exposed to, had the same role models, got caught and trapped inside the same pits..........

We all have sinned. Is any worse than another? The punishment would have still been the same (Hell). The penalty cost just as much (Jesus' death).

It's hard to imagine "Barbie" on the beach now. Satan accomplished with her what he willed: "The enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy." He succeeded in his plan. But it didn't end there. Just as the enemy 'comes', Jesus also 'came!' He came to give Life, and to give it abundantly (John 10:10)! He came to ransom, to buy back, to deliver, to redeem, to save, to restore! So though, Barbie now lives out her sentence in prison, she's free! Released from the chains that once bound her! And wanting to now live in the victory of her Lord!

Another inmate before I left said, "You know those people you pass walking on the side of the road dressed in white? I never thought I would be one of them."

I am realizing more and  more that none of them did. None of us do. We'll flirt with the enemy, walk too close to the pit's edge, tempt the devil, taunt evil, eat the forbidden, play in the enemy's pasture and enjoy our fun, sow seeds of wrong... and somehow never think we'll get caught, never think we'll be trapped, never think it'll happen to us. The devil is good at his deceit. May we pray more asking God to open our eyes to the danger that lurks, and to give us the sense to turn from its bait so we won't get caught in it's trap!

Last week the key verse that our preacher used in his sermon was this, "The prudent (the wise) see danger and take refuge, but the simple (the foolish, the open-minded) keep going and suffer for it" (Proverbs 27:12).

Let's start seeing our danger and take refuge in our Savior, and not act as the simple man does that keeps on going in his path of destruction even after the danger signs flash and so suffers the consequences because he refused to heed to the warnings.

I'm sure that Barbie saw the signs, God is good to warn us. I'm sure she'd advise any that would bother to ask her NOT to keep going on the road to disaster. We're sure to "suffer" for it, to be punished, if we do, if we're too stubborn to listen to the warnings to tell us to stop, to quit, to turn aside, to turn away, to turn around, to run, to flee.

"It could happen to anybody"? If some of us don't stop... it'll happen to me... it'll happen to you. Heed now to the voice of your Savior before it does and it's you that's making that statement!

On a sidenote before I hush, should the Spirit move you to, please pray for these girls that are in prison here.

What one girl said...

She had a beautiful name. An actress's name. I'll just call her Jolie in order to respect her privacy.

She was Cute! Cute! CUTE! Small. Petite. Of course, garbbed head to toe in her prison whites. Older than my mind had first guessed. Had beautiful brown eyes. I liked her immediately. She seemed level-headed, but you could tell she could be fiesty. She spoke her mind. Didn't see any reason not to. I admired her openness, her boldness, her honesty. I mostly admired her want-to. Her heart. Her want to change, to be transformed, and to live righteously and out loud for her Jesus. Here's what she said....

We were sitting in a women's prison. I was co-leading a bible study. In addition to growing them spiritually, the class is also set up to prepare the inmates for employment once back "outside" on the streets again. The questions being asked were to prompt their memory to remember the different things that they were once good at, their skills, the tools they had worked with, their experience... to see what jobs they might want to pursue in their future. At the moment, the particular question our group was discussing was a two part question. It read as follows:

As an adult (after age 18):

1. What was one thing that you did well and enjoyed?
2. What made you feel that you did it well?

The discussion around the room were things you might imagine. One answered 'being a mom.' Another a waitress. Another was once a court reporter. And on and on it went. Finally, we got to Jolie. She was the last in the room to answer. After pondering a moment, her eyes wondering the ceiling in the room in her thinking, her lips twisting in her contemplation, her answer went like this...

"I'm going to be blunt," she said. Then paused. After clearly thinking a minute more she continued, "I'm going to be honest. I wasn't "good" at anything. Oh yes, I was a mom. But I was only half a mom. I was half a daughter. I was half a friend. I was a half of everything I was. Here is what I was "good" at. The only thing I was good at. I was good at drugs, drinking, and men. I sold myself out to drugs, drinking, and men. And I can tell you how I know I was good at it. Look." she said as she looked around her surroundings in the prison she sat in, "I know I was good at it, because look where it landed me."

Wow. Those were her words. "I sold myself out to drugs, drinking, and men."

"I sold myself out to...."

"I sold myself...."

Her words keep ringing in my ears. She said those words to me on Wednesday. Today is Saturday. They're ringing still.

What do we... or are we tempted to... sell ourselves out to? And where will it land us once we do?

Maybe it won't land us in a physical prison? But maybe it will (though we never ever thought that it would)? Maybe it'll land us in a prison of another kind? A spiritual one. A mental one. Regardless of the kind, a prison of any kind is never pleasant. So, why do we so often "sell" ourselves out so easily, so quickly, so flippantly, and for so little?

We all know the story of Esau selling his birthright for a bowl of soup. Just because of his hunger! His stomach's growl! How silly that sounds! How ridiculous! Yet, in our own 'hunger' for this or for that... for love, for accolades, for clothes, for things, for 'happiness', for laughter, to fit in, to be liked, to be noticed, to look good, for affection, for a job, for money, for a relationship, to numb our hurt.......

Girls sell their innocence, their virginity, in hopes to keep the guy she's falling for. People sell their self-control, their senses, for a drink, to feel a buzz, to fit in, to be more relaxed, more fun, less nervous. Many sell their morals (they'll steal, they'll kill, they'll lie) for drugs in order to get high. But how long does it last them? How fulfilling in the end? What all will it take from them before it is finished?

Hebrews 12:16-17 reminds us not to do what Esau did. "See that no one is sexually immoral, or is godless like Esau, who for a single meal sold his inheritance rights as the oldest son. Afterward, as you know, when he wanted to inherit this blessing, he was rejected. He could bring about no change of mind, though he sought the blessing with tears."

Jesus says in Matthew 16:26, "For what does it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? Or what shall a man give in exchanged for his soul?"

Do you mind if I rearrange that verse and say it again this way? "What shall a man give in exchange for his soul?" "For what does it profit a man [what's his reward, his benefit, his advantage, its usefulness] if he shall gain the whole world, and lose [do damage to, receive injury to, suffer loss to] his own soul?"

What shall a man give... to give something to someone / of one's own accord to give one something to his advantage / to grant / to give to one asking / to let have / to supply / to furnish / to give over / to deliver / to present / to give over to one's care / to intrust.......

What shall a man give over to someone, to intrust someone with IN EXCHANGE for his soul????

Exchange =

• that which is given in place of another thing by way of exchange.
• what is given either in order to keep or to acquire anything.
• the act of giving or taking in return for another: to trade.

What will you give in order to get something else?

What will you give in order to keep or acquire another thing?

What will you give in order to get in return?

What will you TRADE?

The words she said still echo in my head, "I sold myself." "I sold myself out to..."

They haunt me. I'm sure they haunt her even more. And I wonder what you've sold yourself to, or what you'll sell yourself for? What have I? Or what will I sell out to?

Three o'clock. Our time was up. She got up from her chair where she sat and she left. I watched her leave. I heard the doors buzz open to let her back in, and heard their loud locking clank behind her as they locked her inside the place she now lives because of the things she'd sold her life to. Now she reaps what she sowed having no idea once where the seeds of her life would grow.



Wherever you lead I will follow

Road trip (see yesterday's post)?

Check out the verse I just ran into. I didn't mean to find it. I guess it was looking for me? Perhaps to emphasize the point of my yesterday's reasonings?

It's from James 1:15. It says, "These evil desires lead to evil actions, and evil actions lead to death."

Keyword?

"Lead".... "Lead"....

What leads?

Evil desires.

What leads?

Evil actions.

Where does it lead?

To death.

What kind of death?

How about a few examples? 

Death of a hope, death of God's plan, death of a joy, death of a relationship, death of a marriage, death of freedom, etc......

There are things that want to lead you. That will try to lead you. Things that are hoping to tempt you to follow! But you don't have to follow it. It alone is your choice.

Interestingly, the Chinese characters for the word "sin" is constructed by putting the words "four" and "wrong" together. In other words: 4 wrongs!

The word "four" is derived from the four errors which led to the birth of sin. They are as follows:

1. Listening to evil.
2. Looking at the forbidden fruit.
3. Desiring in thought.
4. Eating the fruit that's been offered.

Remember my vague mention in my yesterday's thoughts of all of these Pointers you'll meet on your path, all encouraging you, prompting you, pointing you, enticing you, luring you to go somewhere, to the place that they want you to go? Often from the right path you've been shown. From the one road purposed for you. From the one Sovereignly planned.

Here is King James' rendition  of the verse above (Jms 1:14-15), "But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death."

"But EVERY man" (emphasis mine)! EVERY man! EVERY man! EVERY MAN! Every single one!

"But every man is tempted"....

Every man is tempted, tried, tested.

Tempted means ~ tried whether a thing can be done, to try, to make trial of, to test: for the purpose of ascertaining his quantity or what he thinks or how he will behave himself... to try or test one's faith, his virtue, his character, by enticement to sin... to prove one's character and the steadfastness of his faith.

We'll all (EVERY man) be tried, tempted, tested, to see how we'll behave ourselves, to reveal what our character is, to prove our steadfastness (or lack thereof) of our faith.

"But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away..."

DRAWN AWAY?

DRAWN AWAY!

'Drawn away' here is the Greek word exelko. Woe, it sounds like our English word EXIT!

It is defined as: to draw out, to draw away; to lure forth: in hunting and fishing as game is lured from its hiding place, so man by lure is allured from the safety of self-restraint to sin.

"But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away by his own lusts...." His own desires. His own cravings. His own longings. His own desire for what is forbidden. His own lusts. His own wants.

"But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away by his own lusts, and enticed."  We're drawn away, drawn out, lured from our safety of self-restrait to sin  by what we desire, by what we want, by what we lust after, by what we long for... and we're "enticed".... we're caught by the bait!... we're decieved and we're caught by our deception!

"Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death."

Then when lust hath conceived, when our desire has seized us, when our lust has taken us prisoner, when our longings finally now hold us hostage..... it bringeth forth sin, it bringeth us to miss our mark, to err in our path, to wander from the road of righteousness, to lead us off our walk of honor, to do wrong, to wander from the law of God, to violate His laws, to do what is wrong, to commit an offence, to sin....... and sin, our offense, our violation, our err from our path..... when it is finished (woe!), when it is finished with us, when it has had its way with us, when it has completed its purpose in us........ it bringeth forth death!

If that isn't enough to scare a soul into waking us up, I don't know what is!

Sin is crouching at our door, tempting us, tantalizing us, luring us to follow it, enticing us to take its bait.... its desire is to have us! Its hope is to kill! To steal! To destroy! To ruin! To devastate! To rob us and leave us beaten and left for dead! Its whole hope is destruction for us and all those around us!

And we fall for that? We think that's fun? We think it's harmless?

What are we allowing to "lead" us? What are we "following"? And where will it take us in the end when it's done?

What was yesterday's verse again? ".. She did not consider her destiny; therefore her collapse was awesome..." Woe! That's a scary reality! We need to take our destinations seriously! And consider the path that we're walking, every step that we take very carefully, because, dear reader, we'll end up in the place where we're headed!

This is your trip.... where are you going with it?

Road Trip! 

This is your life, your adventure, your trip, your road, your path, your journey.... where are you going with yours?

At every turn, and even in places that appears at first to have no turns at all (they surprisingly will!), will stand something or someone pointing a finger. Go this way! Or that! Turn here! Or there! What is your compass? Do you even have one? What or Who is leading you? And where will it take you because of where you're heading?

Think you trip out very carefully. Consider it. Plan it. Map it. Walk it intentionally. Deliberate detours with caution! Weigh your desires to turn from your path. Are they right? Are they worth it? Where will it land you? How far away will it take you?

Don't be discouraged by obstacles that'll loom in your path. They're meant to discourage you. Meant to distract you. Meant to turn you. Meant to stop you. Don't let them! With God nothing's too tall, nothing too big, no mountain is immovable.

I got a new GPS, a Garmin, for Christmas. It's been such fun! I'm totally impressed and loving it! I can tell already that it's quickly spoiling me. Soon I'll be so attached and rely on it so greatly that I won't know how to travel without it. It tells me how to get there, where to turn, where not to, when I've messed up on my road.

A stray from its direction will get its verbal reply, "Recalculating. Recalculating." Because its whole purpose is to get you to where you were first wanting to go. If after your turn it can't re-route your path it'll warn you to "Turn around as soon as possible. Go 0.2 miles and turn around. Turn around! Turn around! You need to turn around!"

I love its determination! Its relentlessness! Its consistent warning. Its hope. Its want-to to make me turn, to get me back on my right track!

There's a button for "Where am I?" Another one for "Where to?" Another that lets me View my Map. When I see those questions I am quickly reminded of God's question to Hagar on her road. The Lord asked her, "Where have you come from? And where are you going?" Two very good questions to ask ourselves every now and then.

Where am I?

Where have I come from?

Where am I going?

Where to?

Shall I not check and view my map? The Bible I've been given? The Way for my journey? For it's Heaven that I want to arrive at! It's the destination I've chosen. It's where I want to go! And while I am still left on this earthly soil until it's my time to get there, I want to follow my Lord, and walk where He tells me to walk, do what He's told me to do, go where He leads, follow where He's been, walk the road that He's walked and wants me to walk in.

Where are you?

Where have you come from?

Where are you going?

Where to?

This is your trip.... where are you going with it? Are you on the right road for where you hope you'll end up?

Decide where you're going. Never give up! Get to where you want to! Don't let anything deter you!

I didn't just get a GPS for Christmas, I had one born to me years before I ever got here. His name is Jesus. The Anointed One. Christ. Our Messiah. Emanuel. God with us! Our reason for Christmas. He's been such fun! I'm totally impressed and loving it! I can tell already that He's quickly spoiling me. I am so attached and already rely on Him so greatly that I don't know how to travel without Him. Without His Word. Without His Spirit. It's to Him that I am on this road traveling! He tells me how to get there, where to turn, where not to, when I've messed up on my road! He helps me when I'm lost. Picks me up when I've fallen. Assists me and walks with me on His road. :)

I was talking to a friend about all this as my Garmin was telling me, "Recalculating. Recalculating." And I wondered with her how many times I had detoured from God's path and I had Him recalculating... recalculating... But, not really. He already knew.

Wonder, though, at how many times He told me, You need to turn around! Turn around! You can't get there from here. This road will not take you. Turn around! Turn around! Turn around! Turn around! Sharon, you need to turn around here!!! You need to turn now!!!

Might you need to turn? Or are you headed right to where you want to go?

"Lord, I can't go down all those roads!"

01/12/2010

I have no other way to describe it. It was wild! It surprised me! It's so exciting!


Our Sunday's sermon was incredible! My family has been out-of-town and I had forgotten that we had just begun a new series on Destinations. By my last week's blogging though, it's obvious that my conscience had remembered. For three of last week's posts were about our trips in life, our traveling.

The sermon had been about where we are going, about our considering the journey that we are traveling, about the road signs along our way, and about our heeding to the warnings. At the end of the sermon a man got up to pray for the Lord's Supper. In his telling of what our Savior has done he told a little about his future journey. He and his wife are moving to Africa this week to serve as a missionary doctor especially targetted to helping those with Aids. As he told his story I ached with jealousy. In my mind, not out loud, I kept saying to Jesus how much I wanted to go! I've been to where this man and his wife are going and my heart longs to go back there.

After the supper was finished (and because of the lesson we'd just heard) one of our youth ministers told us that he wanted to advocate for all of us in prayer. He asked us to bow our heads and close our eyes and hold our hands out in a poster of receiving. He said that he was going to say three words, pausing between each, and he wanted us to listen to God about what He wanted us to tell us.

His first word was "Danger"...... What did God want to warn you of?

Immediately and without warning a red light instantly went off in my head! Not really knowing if I'd have an answer or not, before I had time to even consider, I knew immediately what God wanted to warn me of! I will admit it, it disappointed me. I didn't like the warning. I didn't want what He'd warn me of to be something that I should be cautious of.

And then, before I had much time to ponder upon it, his second word was memtioned.  "Discernment"...... What was God telling you to do about it?

"Tiptoe," was the answered that slammed me. Well, it wasn't run, I thought! It wasn't "flee" as Joseph had done. After the warning of danger it wasn't the answered I thought I'd get. I must admit I was a bit relieved.

And last, but not least, his third word was this one: "Direction"..... Where was God telling you to go?

With the hearing of the word ("direction") I started praying. Not aloud, mind you, but in my mind. I started talking about Africa and how I'd missed those children there. I was silently talking 90-to-nothing...... when I remembered! I wasn't supposed to be talking, I was supposed to be listening to Him! I apologized for my bombardment and asked God what He wanted to say? His answer surprised me! He showed me in pictures. He gave me a visual. Though the roads were different, here's what I saw:

A picture of a Garmin flashed before my eyes. With a ton of streets upon it. Sreets going everywhere! But... in place of the one arrow pointing down the street where I was to go, there were arrows going down every single street and road! I said to God in my silence, "Lord, I can't go down all those roads." And His answer was instant! He flashed those in the prisons of where I've been visiting before my eyes and He said, "No. You can't. But they can!"

And I knew!

Wow! In a split second my mind was turned from those in Africa to where I wanted to go and focused to the prisoners of where He's placed me now in my season's now moment. Wow! How very much I love them! And wow! How very much more that He does!.. more than I ever could!

Wow! I saw His purpose! I saw His reason! I saw their future! I saw them going before Him! I saw them working for Him! I saw their skins being skins of Jesus! And I am blown away by what He showed me!

Oh Lord, in my awe, thank You for the work that You do! Thank you for using the most unlikely and broken vessels for your vehicles to ride in! Thank You for letting me be a part! How can I tell them? Or..... maybe.... perhaps You will show them a glimpse of what You showed me? :)

Why do we think that we're the exception?

I saw a movie once. I don't remember the name of it. I can't remember what it's about. I couldn't tell you who played in the starring roles.

But I remember actually not seeing it one time, but seeing it twice. Watching it back to back, one night right after the other. I knew going into the movie that the parents would get killed in a car accident. The start of the movie showed the car losing control and the wreck happening that would take two people's lives, then backed up in time and showed you how circumstances got them there.

They were home with the kids. The husband wanted to go out and celebrate some big happening with friends. The wife wanted to stay home. The husband won.

After finding a sitter and kissing their children good night, they went to a friend's house to party. There was lots of drinking, loads of alcohol consumed, and finally getting in their car to go home greatly intoxicated. An argument was ignited on their way, and I knew the exact spot, the very curve in the road, the particular speed they'd be going when the man took his eyes from the road to focus on his wife's face while making his point and careening into an oncoming vehicle before flying over a cliff and turning over several times before landing upside down.... killing both of them instantly.

I vividly remember seeing it the second time and panicking because I knew they'd do it again. I so badly wanted to holler at them, to scream them a warning, to beg them to stop. I kept thinking, "Don't you remember you did this last night? Don't you remember how much it cost you? Don't you remember that if you don't do something differently it'll end the very same way as it did the time before? You'll die! It'll kill you! Your children will lose their parents!"

As crazy as it sounds, the lesson impacted me enough that night all those years ago to impact me still. I still wonder why people go down the paths of disaster after seeing the lives of others taken and don't believe that that same path will happen to them. It won't take my life. It won't addict me. It won't captivate to control me. I can handle it. It's not really dangerous. It's fun. When all the while the enemy's working. He's tempting and tantalizing and disguising his plan in hopes to ensnare and corrupt and cripple or hurt or control or kill someone.

I ran across a verse last night that prompted my remembrance of that movie. It's found in Lamentations 1:9 and says, ".. She did not consider her destiny; therefore her collapse was awesome..."

Woe!

She did not consider her destiny!!!!!!

How many people don't consider theirs? How many people don't think that the path where they're going will land them in the place that it will???

Why, I wonder? When the evidence of so many people that have gone down that road lie all around them? Why do we never think it'll happen to us? We won't get caught? It won't hurt us? I'm just playing. You're making a big deal out of something that's not serious.

Why don't we know that we can't hold hands with our enemy on the road that he so gaily wants to take us without ending up in captivity somehow? Why do we not know that Satan plans for our "collapse to be awesome"? That this road we're accompanying him on will lead to a disaster?

Another version reads, "... She did not consider her future. Her fall was astounding..."

Another, "She defiled herself with immorality with no thought of the punishment that would follow. Now she lies in the gutter with no one to lift her out. "LORD, see my deep misery," she cries. "The enemy has triumphed. The enemy has plundered her completely, taking everything that she owns.."

Here is another verse from that chapter (vs 1), "How lonely sits the city" [in our spiritual application: How lonely sits the girl... the boy... the man] "that was full of people! How like a widow has she become, she who was great among the nations! She who was a princess among the provinces has become a slave"!!!!...... "Judah has gone into exile because of affliction and hard servitude; she dwells now among the nations, but finds no resting place; her pursuers have all overtaken her in the midst of her distress."

Do we really think we won't get caught? Do we think we won't be a slave? Do we somehow believe that we'll miss going into exile, serving our enemy? Are we so thoroughly convinced that we won't be overtaken by our pursuers? Do we think we can escape the enemy that desires to have us while eating the forbidden thing that he offers? Do we think we won't have any consequences? Do we think that there will really be no price to pay? Do we think we can honestly get away with it? Do we think that we won't really have to reap what we sow?

Meet Jacqui and see a glimpse of her story:

Not everyone who gets hit by a drunk driver dies. This picture was taken 4 years after the accident that left Jacqueline badly burned, and the doctors are still working on Jacqueline, whose body was covered with 60% severe burnings.

This is the way Jacqueline Saburido used to look before the auto accident.

This is the car in which Jacqueline traveled. She was hit by another car that was driven by a 17-year old male student on his way home after a couple of hard packs of beer with his friends. This was in December 1999.

Now 22 years old, he cannot forgive himself for driving drunk on that night five years ago. He's aware of the devastation he caused Jacqueline Saburidos life.

The look in his eyes tells you he has asked God many times to forgive him, but he cannot forgive himself. May God Have Mercy on him and give him Peace.

Check out this video (be sure to watch it to the very end past the credits):


Some will read or see this and say this is just a story. It would never happen to me. I am more careful than that. More responsible.

No! It's not! It's not just a story. It's not an exception. It doesn't only just happen to a few. It's very real. It was unplanned. Unintended. Thoughtless. Careless. Irresponsible. And it dramatically changed the life of a girl forever... horrifying the man that did it to her. So many argue the point that they wouldn't drive after they drink. But regardless of what anyone says, intoxication is stupid, it doesn't care, it doesn't make sense, it loses self-control, it does things it normally wouldn't, its action are influenced by the poison of the drink.... on purpose! That's what its made for, that's its purpose, that's its plan.

Believe it or not, everything cost! How much will your fun cost you? How much will it cost another? I hope it's worth it to you. It might not be for somebody else.

".. She did not consider her destiny; therefore her collapse was awesome..."

"... She did not consider her future. Her fall was astounding..."

"She defiled herself with immorality with no thought of the punishment that would follow. Now she lies in the gutter with no one to lift her out. "LORD, see my deep misery," she cries. "The enemy has triumphed. The enemy has plundered her completely, taking everything that she owns.."

"She who was a princess among the provinces has become a slave"!!!!...... (emphasis mine).

Still don't think it'll ever happen to you?

They didn't either.

"If only they were wise and would understand this and discern what their end would be!" Deut 32:29 (emphasis mine)

"I have considered my ways and have turned my steps to Your statutes. I will hasten and not delay to obey Your commands." Ps 119:59-60

Do you "consider" your destiny? Have you looked at where your path might be taking you? Are you holding hands with your enemy? Joyously skipping about with the very thing that intends to harm you? kill you? destroy you? ruin another? Or. Will you hastenly turn and not delay, because you've been warned, before it's too late?

She used to be so sweet...

I told her, "You're gonna have to forgive him."

"No, I won't," she said. "I'll never forgive him for what he's done to me."

"But you're the one who'll be miserable then. You're the one that'll suffer." (Matt 18:21-35)

"I don't care," she told me. "I don't care what you tell me. I don't care what you say. I don't care what anybody says. He doesn't deserve it. EVER! Ever Ever Ever! Not after what he's done. He's never even said he's sorry. He's never even acted like he was. He doesn't even care! And then, he goes on about with his life, laughing, and having fun... He's never even given what he's done to me a second thought. How can he so not care??????"

I didn't have an answer for that.

I told her, "I don't know. I'm sorry. Some people don't. Some people wound and hurt and harm other people everywhere they go, and never seem to be sorry. But that's beside the point. Your issues are you, not him. And you are no more right in your wrong, than he is in the wrong that he did to you. Jesus didn't say forgive if they ask, or only forgive if they're truly sorry. He said to forgive simply because He says to forgive. It frees you. It releases you. He tells us to love our enemies, and to do good to those that hate you, and to pray for those that despitefully use you" (Matt 5:43-44). It's for your benefit. Your health. Your healing.

"Well, I don't care. I can't. I won't! I'll never forgive him."

"Then, I'm sorry. You'll be tortured by it you know.... until you do. It's the truth that sets us free... and in this equation God's given you the truth, the solution, to solve it. But He'll leave it up to you whether you do it or not."

That conversation took place almost 13 years ago, and she lived up to what she'd said. She didn't. She never forgave him. And she's become so embittered to it that she definitely has no plans to now. This is the conversation that we had yesterday:

"Hey, I haven't talked to you in awhile. How's it going in your world?" I asked when I saw her, but I already knew.

"What a stupid question. Everything that could go wrong has, while "you know who" nows lives in some big fancy house on some uppity street and has a condo on the beach and a house on the lake. He's still not sorry for nothing he did! He's living like it never even happened, and I've been sitting in a chair having therapy for the past 12 years. I'm taking drugs for anti-depression, drugs for my blood-pressure, and drugs to help me sleep. Sheesh, life's not fair! And after all he's done to me..............."

Suffice it to say, by her sound, the therapy didn't seem to be working.

She rambled on for a good 20 more minutes before I could get a word in edge-wise. It didn't do much good. She never even heard me. She had become mean in her madness. And she used to be so sweet!

How do I tell her that she chose the chains she'd wear when she wouldn't forgive an evil done to her way back then? We're told that a moment can change a lifetime, and it's true, that moment sure changed hers. She's been living in her prison of misery since... and blaming the whole world around her for it... when it's nobody's fault but her own.

Granted, she was wronged in the most horrific way. Horrible! Not fair! But the unforgiveness and then the bitterness that grew within her was what ruined her. It wasn't the incident that could do that to her, only the choices she made in how she chose to handle it. She's never been able to see that....... She used to be so pretty, but she let the poison eat her. She used to laugh a lot, but now a frown furrows her face............. She's grown accustom to her prison, I don't know that she'll ever leave it. She's got the keys that'll release her, but she refuses to use them.

So often we'll be miserable over a thing for the rest of our lives.... saying we won't forgive, because it hurts too much; when actually it hurts so much, because we won't forgive. God gives us the answer, and we simply won't believe Him. Sometimes we'll say we do, but we really just haven't a clue how to.

Let me tell you something I've learned. When God tells us to "renew our minds" (Rom 12:2) or "think on these things" (Phil 4:8) He knows what He's talking about. We've got to change our minds! We've got to change our thinking! He knows the power of control that takes place in our minds and what it can do to us. We're told in 2 Corinthians 10:4-5 that, "The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

We've GOT to take every thought that comes into our mind and to make it obedient to what Christ has said. For though thoughts will come that sets itself up against what God has taught to be true in your life, it's up to us to deal with it and make it to submit to what God has said. He's able to heal... but only if we let Him.

Let me sum it up for you.

We are to magnify our Lord and exalt His name only (Ps 34:3). But who (or what) is it that you spend your days and weeks and months and years magnifying in your thoughts? Who (or what) do you exalt, glorify, and give power to? Who (or what) is elevated to the highest place in your mind? Who (or what) do you talk about? Do you magnify your God? Or your hurt?

One gives freedom. The other imprisons.

We are warned that our enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour (1 Peter 5:8-10). So. Will you simply lie down and let him? Are you letting the "lion" (lying!) devour you?

The 10th verse in that passage tells us, "And the God of all grace.. after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast." GOD HIMSELF restores you! We will all suffer. But God Himself makes you strong! The question is: Will we allow Him to? Will we let Him? The answer lies within our ourselves.

(Ephesians 6:10-12) Our struggle is not against flesh and blood. A lot of our battle lies within our own selves. Don't blame your offender, like this girl did. Take a good look within. Who (or what) is it you're magnifying? So then, who is the god/God that you're really bowing down to, sacrificing to, serving?

I had a girl write to me asking me to pray for a girl that is stuck in a stronghold of self-mutilation. It made me sad, and I immediately thought of how easily it is to fall into it. If we don't deal with our stuff properly that's what so often happens to us in our strongholds. When we don't deal with our stuff there is an incredible power that takes control and it some how turns out in some sort of self-mutilation (in whatever form in happens to show up in), because eventually it has to take some form of outward manifestation.

I am NOT in anyway trying to insinuate that this girl is demon-possessed. But what my friend said to me about this girl reminded me of the man that we're told about in Matt 8:28-34; and Mark 5:1-5; and Luke 8:26-30 that Jesus crossed all the way to the other side of the lake just to get to in order to heal him.

• We're told that that the man had "not worn clothes" for a long time.
• He lived in the tombs because he had been driven by the demons to go to "solitary places."
• And that he cried out day and night while cutting himself with stones.

This is such a picture of us in our bondage of sin. Okay granted, different looks for different faces... yet still the same.

Take for example the girl that flaunts her body for attention, she wears shirts open and cut way down to there, showing what ought not to be seen; and her skirts barely cover what skirts were originally made for. She's another one (just like this man just mentioned in Scripture) that's "not worn clothes" for a long time.

And just as this guy lived in the tombs because the demons within him had driven him to solitary places, don't we do this very same thing in our bondage? Seclude ourselves alone? Feel so by ourselves? Push other people away? Want to be alone? But hate that we are? And we're greatly disappointed in the people that we've pushed away, because they don't do something to help us anyway?

We're basically living dead people, trying our best to live and find some sort of life in the tombs that we've found ourselves in.

It's like Cole in the movie Sixth Sensewhen he  whispered to Dr. Malcolm Crowe, "I see dead people.... walking around like regular people.... They're everywhere. And they don't even know they're dead."

THAT'S US in our bondage! We're the dead-person walking around that doesn't even know that we're dead. OR we do? And we just don't know how to live it any differently anymore?

And then of course, there's the part that tells us that he cried out day and night while cutting himself with stones.

It may be cutting? It may be drinking? Or snorting? Or eating? Or slapping someone else around that in essense can be cutting yourself with stones by the stones that you're throwing stones at in order to cut someone else? Or mad? Or mean? Or a sulking depression?...

Our "cutting ourselves" to make ourselves hurt by watching the constant memory of the evil done to us, because it's become the favorite movie inside our minds.... so we pick at the wound, we peel back the scab, and we make sure that it is a constant bleed. Make sense to you? Or is it only to my weird way of thinking? We can be "cutting ourselves with stones" in a zillion different ways without literally doing it. It is our form of crying out day and night for help from somebody out there somewhere that will bother to take the time to notice and see and stop and help to fight the foe within us to help us where it seems that we can't help ourselves.

We've all had our chains of bondage. We've all tried to find life in our tombs. We've all felt lonely in our solitary places. We've all stripped and shown our nakedness in different sorts of ways. And we've all "cut" ourselves and caused harm to ourselves in some form or fashion - because the cries within us has to be vocalized in some way. Our cries might be displayed in all sorts of disguises... but nevertheless, the cries can't stay hidden in silence within us forever. They eventually scream out in one way or another.

The sweet thing about it is that in the story that's told there, that is all that Jesus did when He crossed the lake on that night; and then after healing the man of his demons, He crossed back to the side that He'd just left from. Jesus' whole purpose was to go there for him. And if you'll remember a furious storm came up to try to stop Him before He got there. So Him! So kind! So just what He would do! It's that 'He leaves the ninety-nine in search for the one that's lost' thing all over again. He lives to seek.. and seeks to give life! I WAS THE "ONE"! YOU WERE THE "ONE"! WE'RE ALL "ONES"! You know? And He'll cross the seas and the wind and the waves that thwart and fight against us... just to touch and to change us "ones".

Again, I'll make one more reference to the movie Sixth Sense. In the same scene that I referred to earlier, Cole is lying in his bed and Dr. Crowe is sitting beside him trying his best (but doing an awful job of it) to tell Cole a bedtime story when Cole interrupts him and then tells him to, "Tell me the story of why you're sad?"

Dr. Crowe asks, "You think I'm sad?"

The little boy nods his head.

Mr. Crowe asks, "Why do you think that?"

Cole's answer to him is, "Your eyes told me."

Then, Dr. Crowe does. He begins to tell some of his story and the thing that's made him sad.

In a few minutes, Cole interrupts again, and asks in the meekest whisper, "How does the story end?"

But Dr. Crowe didn't know, because his story wasn't finished yet.

When Cole was asked how he knew that Dr. Crowe was sad, he told him that his eyes told him. And our eyes tell us too. What are you focused on? What do your eyes see? What are you constantly seeing? What do your eyes tell? Where's your 'look' looking? What do you spend your days seeing, because it's what you're constantly thinking about?

Again, when Cole told the doctor his "secret", he said, " I see dead people... walking around like regular people. They don't see each other. They only see what they want to see. They don't know they're dead. I see them all the time. They're everywhere."

Did you hear that??? "They only see what they want to see"!!!

What are you "seeing" that you've chosen to see? Might that be why so many of us are still so sad?

Unlike Dr. Crowe, we can know how our stories end! The enemy will send a "a furious storm" to come up against you too, when Jesus comes to save; but the enemy's plans has no hold on Him, He's perfectly able to save. Each of us can answer the "How does the story end?" for our own lives in how we responded to our Savior when He comes calling to rescue you from your tombs. There's not a stronghold that Jesus can't break, nor a tomb that He can't rescue you from.

My friend? The one that used to be so sweet? She could 'be sweet' again. She could be free! But first, she's got to change her look. She's got to quit seeing what she wants to see. She's got to start seeing Jesus and seeing as Jesus sees, or her story will have a sad end.

How about me? How about you? How will your story end?