[This post is Part 3 of 4 parts. To start at Part 1 click here. Click here for Part 2.]
"I don't do anything,” Henry answers. “It just happens. I can't control it. I just - one minute everything is fine, the next I'm somewhere else, some other time. Like changing channels. I just suddenly find myself in another time and place."
Bingo! Perfectly described! Perfectly said!
How, indeed, does this “time-traveling” work? I think that it’s very often just as Henry described, “I don’t do anything. It just happens. I can’t control it. I just... one minute everything is fine, the next I’m somewhere else, some other time. Like changing channels. I just suddenly find myself in another time and place.”
You’re just sitting there or going about your business, when out of the blue, a past memory or a future thought pops into your head and in the blink of an eye it carries you off far into the distance to another place somewhere else, and another time completely. Involuntarily! You didn’t mean to think it. You didn’t mean to leave. You didn’t mean to go there. But you get lost in its thought the instant it happens, forgetting where you were, the “when” that you were in, and the now where you’re still supposed to be present in. You were thrown there, before having a choice or even knowing that it was happening.
o A cry of a baby can cause it for the wanna-be-mom that’s not. Or, to the mom that has lost her child to a disease or some tragic accident.
o A band on the finger of a man or a woman can trigger the travel for the wanna-be-bride. Or, it can trigger longing or regret or anguish to the recently divorced or widowed.
o A song on the radio can snatch a driver from the place where she sits on the road to a prom night or to a wishful dinner.
o A smell of cologne or perfume can pull one from the person they’re with and take them instantly to someone they’re not.
o A commercial or advertisement can pull us to an envious state of jealousy, to desire and lust after what we don’t have and we instantly become embittered to those that do, while unappreciative of all we’ve been given.
o An accolade toward another can whisk the hopeful or the hopeless into automatic misery… because of what they wish they were, but they’ll never be.
o Seeing someone else’s mom… can make you miss yours.
o A kind gesture of affection shown to somebody else can leave you bluer-than-blue, sadder-than-sad, because you don’t know what that feels like for yourself but want to.
o Witnessing a wrong or a reading of a crime done to someone can remind you of the evil that’s been done to you and how much it hurt, and thus immediately infuriate and cause a rage of havoc inside you.
Wow, just like Henry said, it’s just like “changing channels.” And it’s just that quick and that fast!
So what do you do? How do you stay here in your real, in your present “when” moment, when something has triggered you to “travel” and sends you spinning? How do you get back to your real time once you’ve left it instead of stayed there in that other thought and place?
I suppose that you can’t completely prevent it from happening. But you can shorten your travel! You don’t have to “close the door” and vacation there; or stew forever in your journey. It’s as Romans 12:2 and 2 Corinthians 10:5 tells us, we can “renew our minds” and "take every thought captive!” We need to do more “renewing!” And start captivating the thoughts of where are minds are taking us!
Romans 12:2:
AMP: “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”
CEV: “Don’t be like the people of this world, but like God change the way you think…”
2 Corinthians 10:3-5,
NIV: “For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”
Pg 319 - "He was all stressed out, so he lost his grip on now."
How often do we “lose our grips on our nows” when we’re “all stressed out”?
Man, if stress won’t send us quickly spiraling to a time-travel somewhere else I don’t know what will. Woe, if we don’t all need to be careful and be doubly aware in our stressed-out modes and moods! We all have need to be careful not to “lose” our grips on our nows in our stressed out spirals!
Pg 322 - "And I have told him everything. The beginning, the learning, the rush of surviving and the pleasure of knowing ahead, the terror of knowing things that can't be averted, the anguish of loss. Now we sit in silence and finally he raises his head and looks at me. In Kendrick's light eyes is a sadness that I want to undo."
Have you seen such a “sadness” in another’s eyes that you’d like to “undo”? Boy, haven’t we all! But only God can re-light a person’s soul. We’re told in Matthew 6:22-23 that “the eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness.”
We have to remember too, that Jesus touched the eyes of those that asked for Him to and He healed their sight (i.e. Matt 9:29; 20:33; John 9:10).
In Matthew 13:15 a prophesy from Isaiah was quoted, “For this people’s heart has become calloused; they hardly hear with their ears, and they have closed their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes, and hear with their ears, understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them.” Sooo, Heaven forbid, that we become so closed and so calloused!
We’re told in 2 Cor 4:18, “So we FIX our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”
Eph 1:17-19, “I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know Him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which He has called you, the riches of His glorious inheritance in the saints, and His incomparably great power for us who believe…”
Heb 12:2, “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, Who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”
David says in Psalm 13, “How long, O LORD? Will You forget me forever? How long will You hide Your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me? Look on me and answer, O LORD my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death… I trust in Your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in Your salvation…”
Psalm 25:15-22, “My eyes are ever on the LORD for only HE will release my feet from the snare. Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. The troubles of my heart have multiplied; free me from my anguish. Look upon my affliction and my distress and take away all my sins. See how my enemies have increased and how fiercely they hate me! Guard my life and rescue me; let me not be put to shame, for I take refuge in You. May integrity and uprightness protect me, because my hope is in You.” KJV, “Mine eyes are ever toward the LORD; for HE shall pluck my feet out of the net.”
Psalm 31, “In You, O LORD, I have taken refuge; let me never be put to shame; deliver me in Your righteousness. Turn Your ear to me, come quickly to my rescue, be my rock of refuge, a strong fortress to save me. Since You are my rock and my fortress, for the sake of Your name lead and guide me. Free me from the trap that is set for me, for You are my refuge. Into Your hands I commit my spirit; redeem me, O LORD, the God of truth… I trust in the LORD. I will be glad and rejoice in Your love, for You saw my affliction and knew the anguish of my soul… Be merciful to me, O LORD, for I am in distress; my eyes grow weak with sorrow, my soul and my body with grief. My life is consumed by anguish and my years by groaning; my strength fails because of my affliction, and my bones grow weak. Because of all my enemies, I am the utter contempt of my neighbors; I am a dread to my friends – those who see me on the street flee from me….I have become like broken pottery... But I trust in You, O LORD; I say, “You are my God.” Let Your face shine on Your servant; save me in Your unfailing love…. How great is Your goodness, which You have stored up for those who fear You, which You bestow in the sight of men on those who take refuge in You. In the shelter of Your presence You hide them… Praise be to the LORD, for He showed His wonderful love to me when I was in a besieged city…. You heard my cry for mercy when I called to You for help. Love the LORD, all His saints! The LORD preserves the faithful… Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the LORD.” [See John 16:33…. Trouble’s coming, but take heart, Jesus has overcome the world!]
To me this is a prime example of Psalm 126:5-6…. it’s a picture of our ‘sowing in tears’ [He says, "Those who sow in tears, WILL reap with songs of joy. He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, WILL return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him." That's what we do when we cry and then read His Word (we’re sowing His seed inside us!). Keep on crying for as long as you need to.... softening the soil of your heart as you knead in the seeds of His words spoken over you into your heart and your soul and your mind....... And as He promises, you will one day be reaping those songs of joy! Singing His praises to another who needs a song in their night!]
Psalm 38, “… My guilt has overwhelmed me like a burden too heavy to bear. My wounds fester and are loathsome because of my sinful folly. I am bowed down and brought very low; all day long I go about mourning. My back is filled with searing pain; there is no health in my body. I am feeble and utterly crushed; I groan in anguish of heart… My heart pounds, my strength fails me; even the light has gone from my eyes. My friends and companions avoid me because of my wounds… I wait for You, O LORD; You will answer, O Lord my God…I am about to fall, and my pain is ever with me. I confess my iniquity; I am trouble by my sin… O LORD, do not forsake me; be not far from me, O my God. Come quickly to help me, O Lord my Savior.”
Psalm 116, “I love the LORD for He heard my voice; He heard my cry for mercy. Because He turned His ear to me, I will call on Him as long as I live. The cords of death entangled me, the anguish of the grave came upon me; I was overcome by trouble and sorrow. Then I called on the name of the LORD: “O LORD, save me!” The LORD is gracious and righteous; our God is full of compassion. The LORD protects the simple-hearted; when I was in great need, He saved me. Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the LORD has been good to you. For You, O LORD, have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before the LORD in the land of the living. I believed; therefore I said, “I am greatly afflicted.” And in my dismay I said, “All men are liars.” How can I repay the LORD for all His goodness to me? I will lift up the cup of salvation and call upon the name of the LORD. I will fulfill my vows to the LORD in the presence of all His people… O LORD, truly I am Your servant; I am Your servant, the son of Your maidservant; You have freed me from my chains…”
Psalm 119:37, “Turn my eyes away from worthless things; preserve my life according to Your Word.”
Psalm 101:3, “I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes: I hate the work of them that turn aside; it shall not cleave to me.”
Psalm 119:18, “Open my eyes that I may see wonderful things in Your law.”
Psalm 119:148, “My eyes stay open through the watches of the night, that I may meditate on Your promises.”
Psalm 121:1, “I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help.”
Psalm 123:1-2, “I lift up my eyes to You, to You whose throne is in heaven. As the eyes of slaves look to the hand of their master, and the eyes of a maid look to the hand of her mistress, so our eyes look to the LORD our God, until He shows us His mercy.”
Psalm 141, “O LORD, I call to You; come quickly to me. Hear my voice when I call to You. May my prayer be set before You like incense; may the lifting up of my hands be like the evening sacrifice. Set a guard over my mouth, O LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips. Let not my heart be drawn to what is evil, to take part in wicked deeds… my eyes are fixed on You, O Sovereign LORD; in You I take refuge… Keep me from the snares.. laid for me, from the traps set by evildoers…”
Psalm 145:15-16, “The eyes of all look to You, and You give them their food at the proper time. You open Your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing.”
Pg 326 - "My body wanted a baby. I felt empty and I wanted to be full. I wanted someone to love who would stay: stay and be there, always. And I wanted Henry to be in this child, so that when he was gone he wouldn't be entirely gone, there would be a bit of him with me...." ~~
What is it that you “want”? Have you ever had a “want” so badly that you “felt empty” without it when you so “wanted to be full”? And too, who doesn’t want a love that will “stay,” one that’s yours, one that will “stay and be there, always”? I have. I’m sure you have too. We all have. We all do. Who doesn’t?
But back to the “my body wanted a baby. I felt empted and I wanted to be full…” In reality, only God can truly fill our ‘empty’ and make us full. He knows our wants, He knows our desires... if you've not gotten what you desire from Him yet, keep praying that one day you will... or if it's not His desire too, that one day He will change your heart to desire for yourself only what His does.
[To continue this long pondering of mine in this book I was reading, you'll find it in Part 4].
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