But the question already has me pondering. And though "I know".... how "I know" doesn't seem easily answered or quickly done so. I am wondering if words will hold it? Can I share the knowing in mere words spoken and said or written to another?
The question?
Sharon, regarding the sermon on Sunday, I don't doubt the virgin birth. I can't tell you why, but I've always believed. I never gave it a thought not to. When I first read the Bible and still to this day I never questioned it or all the events (parting the red sea etc) that happened. I just believed the Bible. I have no clue why but I always have. What comes hard for me is, believing God loves me. Yet I know he does from all the things that have happen in my life, how he has been there and kept me safe and yet I am scared of God. I know my sins and do not understand why he loves me. Confused? When you have time I would really like to know how you know God loves you.
Woe! How do I know? How do you know? .... How do I go about answering it?
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How do I know? Wow, I don't know if I know how to answer how I know. And though I've not always known it, today I do. Yet still, it's a hard question to answer. Don't quit asking though, I love it when someone questions me and gives me a challenge to think.
ReplyDeleteI almost want to say it's a feeling... and when it's not a feeling, it's a knowing despite the way you feel.
Or, maybe it's because I've cried with God so often (gut wretching cries) that I've met Him during my worst times and He's always been there? He keeps EVERY tear in HIS bottle. He not only says He does, but I feel that. And I'm overwhelmed that He would. He always somehow lets me know that He cares. Even when things aren't going right or going good or going in a way that I can understand it or think and hope that it should.
Even when I'm asking where He is, and I'm not feeling Him, and I begging Him to help. Still, even then, I do deep down still know that's He still there.. He still cares... and mostly I guess because of the Son He sent.... what His Son went through, and what He still goes through in pursuing me and trying to turn me around.
Perhaps I should go back to your statement, "I know my sins, and I do not understand why He loves me"?
Now there's a wonder! :) I'm blown away that He'd send His Son for me after all I've done. When I've turned from Him and rebelled against Him over and over again.... even when I knew better, even when I did it just because I wanted to regardless of all He's told me not to and warned me against it.
Let me ask it this way: Why do you love your daughter? Is it simply because she deserves it? Because of all of the things that she's done for you? Because of how she's always treated you? Or, is it more simply because she's yours? You gave birth to her? You carried her in your womb? How could (no matter what she's done or does or doesn't do) you not love her?
Or.... how does she know you love her? Maybe because of all the sacrifices you've made? Because you've always been there? Because you told her you cared? Because your actions showed it beyond the mere words that you've said? Because of you taking care of her, feeding her, clothing her, taking care of all of her needs? Because of all you've taught her, hoped for her, encouraged her to do? Because of the little surprises you've given her along the way just to let her know she's special... and because you can't help yourself from doing such a thing? Because of the times you've said "no"... or "wait"... or "because I said so".. when you knew she wouldn't like it and wouldn't understand? Because you disciplined her when she was wrong? etc...???
I don't know that I know how to answer your question. Sorry I'm not better at it. I'll keep pondering upon it though and let you know if I come up with something better.
I don't have an answer...and I still don't always feel in my heart what I know in my head...but I have a testimony.
ReplyDeleteMy daughter began having small seizures when she was 1 1/2. My husband and I didn't want to put her on medication and it was SOOOOO painful to watch. I called out to God day and night to heal my daughter. One day he told me, "Do you know how much you love her? Well, I love her even more. You can trust me to take care of her."
This revelation not only helped me to find peace in my daughters situation, it helped me because the next thing he told me was, " and I love you that much too." WOW! It still blows my mind to be loved that much, that unconditionally.
AND, Praise the Lord my daughter will be 4 this month and God healed her from the seizures she was having 1 1/2 years ago. WOW GOD!!!
This situation always reminds me how much God loves me, even though I don't know if I will ever be able to fully comprehend just how much.
Sara
Wow Sara! What an incredible testimony that God's given you to tell! Priceless! You know sometimes how hard we balk when life is so hard... and when it's something that we can't comprehend... and the suffering seems too great to bear? But then again, IF we never went through time like this, wow!, think of what we would miss of the wonder of our God! Thanks so much for sharing this! What a powerful thing you now have to share that shows this whoa-ness of God and is such an incredible (unfathomable!) Display of HIS Splendor! How I LOVE my GOD!
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