.
I have been readying myself for travel! For a visit with a very special friend... one that I've not seen in eons... one that I've missed a lot (a lot! a lot! a lOt! a LoT! A LOT!)! And during our visit, our plans included our attending a Beth Moore Living Proof Live event that she bought tickets to while we're at it.
I've been readying for months. I (against everything in my nature) had even begun packing my luggage. I've shopped for new mascara, more hair spray, more of the hygiene items that I am almost out of. I've been watching what I eat, hoping to whittle away a little extra. I just recently started tanning. I had scheduled a hair appointment for the day before my planned departure. I've found a place to house my 3 dogs while I'm gone. I've made arrangements to rent a vehicle because mine doesn't seem so reliable. I've picked out the outfits that I'll be wearing and am thrilled that I don't have to do any shopping. I've got the shoes! I've got her a gift. I've cleared my calendar. I'm prepared! I had begun the countdown.
And then...
Life sometimes has an unkind way of changing your already-ready-made-really-want-to plans. Something else came up (my mama's coming to town)... and it fell-ed all the plans that I have made down.
I emailed my friend last week:
"Bridget, I know this may sound silly... but I so very much am wanting this trip. I have bowed out of meetings and conferences and appointments of all sorts trying to rearrange my schedule and clear my calendar so that I can make this thing happen at the end of the month. Wildly, everything under the sun seems to be happening at that particular moment! The latest thing thrown at me seems so radically far-fetched and out of my radar... I wouldn't have expected it. With all of the craziness in my mama's world, if she wants to come here I cannot even being to try to talk her into going some place else. But I am wanting God to do something so Him that it works out without me having to shoo her away. I'd rather it be her idea and not mine.. but it will take an act of God for that to happen. Pray!!! Please pray that He will do something... that He Himself will work it out! I am still preparing... still trying to get things ready... still anticipating, and even in my disappointment still not giving up. Crazily, Ta (my son) will be in Florida, Tim (my husband) in Georgia, Sabrina (my daughter) in Gulf Shores... and supposedly me in Illinois so I already even had the dogs (all 3!) lined up for their spend-over nights some place else... and if you know me very well, I don't do that! It truly doesn't look doable right now, but I am so very much sitting at God's feet asking for a miracle! I need it!!! And even more selfishly, I just plain out want it badly! For it to happen, I am asking that you fervently team up with me as I go to Him in prayer about it."
She told me, "Teaming with ouY!!!"
In my pitiful desperation I emailed again: "Thank you... I don't know when I've been so serious! Oh Lord, I beg Your grace, Your mercy, Your kindness, Your compassion, Your favor... please hear, please consider, please answer, please grant my plea. I feel in such need! I need a Word, I need a friend, I need an absence for a few days, I need a refreshing, a refueling, a renewing, a re-firing, some iron sharpening iron..... I need so much! Your will, dear Lord, please work things out so that I can visit my friend at this month's end. In Your Sweet Son's Name, Jesus, my heart pleads............
It's been a whole week, so yesterday my friend texted me, "How does it look?!!!"
I (very lengthily) responded, "I hate to "write" my answer in print. My heart's still hopeful, my desire longs more than ever... but I emailed my sister on Tuesday to tell her my situation... and basically it didn't much change anything. She didn't acknowledge that portion of the email at all when she responded. And I talked to mama right after that and she told me that she had just told her that I was getting her room ready... which would be my room really because it's the only bed we have downstairs.
:(
I got online after talking to her to see if Knoxville is sold out in August. Thus far it is not... but I didn't know if I could twist your arm to go if I offered to buy you a ticket??? I'm sad... and feel horrid... and I've not yet been willing to accept it... thus my reason for not saying so before now. But I guess realistically I'm not going to get to come... I guess you should start looking for someone else to go with you. I'll pay for her ticket!!.. and wish it were me!!
And hey, if you're up for Knoxville, I am serious about that!
:(
And then, later that night in my continual ponder, I emailed her... "I am a bit in Stun-Mode. Or maybe it would better be worded as: Stuck on 'Repeat'. My mind is looping over and over and over again around the fact that my next week isn't working out as I had hoped and planned it. Even thinking it might not work out, something inside kept thinking that in the end it would. I guess technically it isn't "the end" yet. But bar my mom getting sick and unable to travel, I can't see it ending any differently. And I feel too guilty to hope for that. I am excited to see her! BUT, any other weekend, but then!!! Maybe God has His reasons?????????????????? Yet inside it seriously doesn't feel like it. Prepared doesn't even begin to give the true visual of all that I've done to get ready to head your direction. I mean truly! Seriously! Really! I'm not kidding!
I can't help myself, I find myself very down about it. Ugh.. but even typing that just now, I am reminded of when you drove to Chicago to hop on a plane for Disney World and got sent home instead and had to wait a couple of extra days (WITHOUT YOUR LUGGAGE) because of plane problems and full flights. I didn't hear you complaining then... while here I go off about it when it in turn happens to me. I'm sorry for that! I suddenly (just now!) feel rightly convicted!
Shall I hush now and go tell God that I am sorry? I should be excited to see my mama! (I am!) She's been gone for a month and a half now! And who knows in her life-span (or mine) how much longer she'll be left here?
I went to two funerals in two days. It's reminded me that our Heavenly Home beckons us and our earthly toil here is such a short one. Shall we not trust God with every day?!!?! Shall we not trust in Him to plan it regardless of how we've planned it ourselves and for Him to change the course of our paths if He sees fit to? For after all, "EVERY DAY ordained for us was written in His book before even one of them came to be"! So doesn't that mean the days of July 26th through July 29th of 2012 has been planned for He Himself as well.. and that He knows what He wants, where He wants, and why He wants it... even if we don't? Wow... I feel like He's preaching to me as He uses my hands to type these words that I didn't think to think before I found myself typing them.
I'll get off here now. I'll hush. I'll go tell God that I'm sorry and that I trust Him. I'll apologize and repent for complaining, for whining, for grumbling and groaning (I've done so very much of that!!!) I'll tell Him (as I remind myself) that my days are in His hands! May He use them how and where and when and why as He wants to until the day He snatches me from this life and takes me Home for eternity.
I love you! And miss you dearly!"
She responded: "I'm saddened!"
And you know... I truly am too. But I also feel better now. I feel better being reminded that we make the plans, but that regardless of the plans we've made, our God directs our path. Father, please forgive me when I whine. If I trust You, then I have complete confidence in how my days are planned and played out regardless of how I first tried to arrange it! Your will, dear Lord, EVERY-DAY rather than mine!
.
Saturday, July 21, 2012
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Again, awaiting the verdict...
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I found myself sitting yet again in another court room waiting room. On the defendants' side, of course, where faces are plagued with hopeful pleading. An anguished begging inside shows in their every demeanor. A silent plea exuberates from their very presence. They want their loved one set free. They're praying for favor and for their release.
I wonder though what sits in the opposing waiting area? Where the victims' families are waiting. What do their faces show? What do their bodies exude?
If what I've seen in the hearings that I've attended in the past are any evidence of indication of what might sit there... I can only imagine and envision the steam of their wrath rising from the heat that still seethes and simmers and burns within them.
Being "for" is perhaps free-er in some ways than being "against." And yet, I know that that's not always as it is. Even "for"s sometimes seethe. They, too, in their still stale anger, can burn their own blame and their own hatred toward the thing that's happened and the people involved in it. In other words, there's lots of feeling felt in both holding rooms. There's lots of hurt hurting again (or still)! There's lots of blame and shame and pain on both sides of the fence. It's stressful, it's hard, it's tormenting, it's treacherous for everybody... the offender and the offended. The families of both, the friends, and those awaiting the verdict too with them in the prison camp, the teachers, and counselors, and volunteers that have come in to help them.... One person and their actions ripple and reverberate and affect a whole mass of people.
I've been to several hearings hoping for parole in the last couple of weeks. Who knew, but God, that I'd one day find myself here? And in all those cases just recently, everyone has been devastated with saddening news and all their requests have been denied. Already this morning one of our girls, one of my favorites, was put off 3 years. Well, yea, only three, compared to some of the others being put off for five.... but I had so hoped she'd get to go home!
And yet, after her hearing I circled and came back to sit again for another girl. One who isn't in our class. One I don't know well, but Lord God, please hear my cry, please let them today grant her a "Yes!" This girl, at least, Lord! After so many "No"s... please help this one to get "Yes"ed today and get to go home. Please, Lord! Oh please!
I wonder at all the pleas of "please" that are being begged right this very minute as I write and are bombarding in unison the ears right now of my Father in Heaven? So many "please"s, Lord, but only You know! You know what's best. You know who needs to go home and you doesn't need to leave yet. I trust Your "know," Lord, You know what we don't. You hear and see and know our will.... but not our will, Lord God, but Your will alone.
.
I found myself sitting yet again in another court room waiting room. On the defendants' side, of course, where faces are plagued with hopeful pleading. An anguished begging inside shows in their every demeanor. A silent plea exuberates from their very presence. They want their loved one set free. They're praying for favor and for their release.
I wonder though what sits in the opposing waiting area? Where the victims' families are waiting. What do their faces show? What do their bodies exude?
If what I've seen in the hearings that I've attended in the past are any evidence of indication of what might sit there... I can only imagine and envision the steam of their wrath rising from the heat that still seethes and simmers and burns within them.
Being "for" is perhaps free-er in some ways than being "against." And yet, I know that that's not always as it is. Even "for"s sometimes seethe. They, too, in their still stale anger, can burn their own blame and their own hatred toward the thing that's happened and the people involved in it. In other words, there's lots of feeling felt in both holding rooms. There's lots of hurt hurting again (or still)! There's lots of blame and shame and pain on both sides of the fence. It's stressful, it's hard, it's tormenting, it's treacherous for everybody... the offender and the offended. The families of both, the friends, and those awaiting the verdict too with them in the prison camp, the teachers, and counselors, and volunteers that have come in to help them.... One person and their actions ripple and reverberate and affect a whole mass of people.
I've been to several hearings hoping for parole in the last couple of weeks. Who knew, but God, that I'd one day find myself here? And in all those cases just recently, everyone has been devastated with saddening news and all their requests have been denied. Already this morning one of our girls, one of my favorites, was put off 3 years. Well, yea, only three, compared to some of the others being put off for five.... but I had so hoped she'd get to go home!
And yet, after her hearing I circled and came back to sit again for another girl. One who isn't in our class. One I don't know well, but Lord God, please hear my cry, please let them today grant her a "Yes!" This girl, at least, Lord! After so many "No"s... please help this one to get "Yes"ed today and get to go home. Please, Lord! Oh please!
I wonder at all the pleas of "please" that are being begged right this very minute as I write and are bombarding in unison the ears right now of my Father in Heaven? So many "please"s, Lord, but only You know! You know what's best. You know who needs to go home and you doesn't need to leave yet. I trust Your "know," Lord, You know what we don't. You hear and see and know our will.... but not our will, Lord God, but Your will alone.
.
Friday, May 4, 2012
A hodge-podge of quick catch-up
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Well... it's been a minute since I've been on here. No? It's been almost a month since I've voiced something on this reserved space on the Internet of mine. I'd like to write an excuse to tell why I've been absent. Why I've been gone. Why I've been silent. But I don't really have one. I haven't died. Nothing sadly seriously horrible has happened. I've not been sick. No deaths in the family. I've not slept through the last 29 days. I've still gotten up every morning. I've been busy, but I've not been more busy than normal. I've still gone about the normalcy of my everyday stuff. Honestly? I don't know why I've not written.
I've often had lots to say. Too much to say perhaps. But as I find often, sometimes somethings and feelings and events and findings are too big for words. I've simply failed at knowing how to verbalize them. It's been too hard to capsule my thinking and stuff them into a few black words typed upon the stage of a white canvased page on a computer screen.
I've been studying a lot. I can't tell you how often in Scripture the words that I've read have jumped into the very depths of my soul and stirred my mind's thinking. How they've moved me to wonder. How they've pierced me to ponder. How they've caused me to plead in prayer the things that they've said and have been saying to me. I wonder at why I've heard them? I wonder at why my Father has said them?
The words that woe (whoa!) me are more times than not the same words that woed / whoaed me the last time that I passed by their stayed place on the pages of Holy Writ and read them. I suppose that God wanted me to see them again. He not only wanted me to remember, He wanted to remind me. He wanted to emphasize the seriousness again. He simply needed to tell me again in case I'd forgotten them. And I have no doubt, I know that with that again telling, that God has reason and purpose in His plan to tell me. It makes me want to get-it deeper this time! It makes me wonder what He's got ahead for me and what He's equipping and preparing me for through His saying in what lies ahead of me on His Divinely Kingdom Prepared Calendar.
I love His voice! I love His Word! I love to hear Him! I love when what He's said hits hard and pierces deep and provokes to thinking to then hopefully move me enough to do and obey them.
Along with basking at the feet of our Great Teacher in the past month, I've sat in a boat load of parole hearings. I've been in and out in the prisons talking more extensively with those people in them. I've picked recently released prisoners up and spent the day with them in their first few breaths of new again felt freedom. I've labored over their hard and have continued to bring so many of them to the Throne of Grace for all the variety of ways that they need Him. I've had the faired share of family crises with my mom and my siblings. And I've both pageant-ed and prom-ed and shared so many fun times with my husband and children. We've had Ups and Downs and All-Arounds... and God is always faithful and GOoD! So GOoD, in fact, that I feel I dare never have reason to complain because even through the trials He's blessed us so greatly!
I make no promises, but I'll do my best to try and go back and catch up on some of the things that have happened in the last month so as to document and not lose memory of those failed-to-be-voiced days that I've been given. I now regret that my fingers have been on lock-down from their typing, I feel too behind now to catch up. The pondering processes in my mind were obviously too slow with too much of a cycling to be able to release my mind's activity to blogged memory. Oh, that I would take time to write every day to record them! If only for me alone, I LOVE to go back and see the trail of where I've walked on this pilgrimage that I've been assigned to.
"All the days ordained for me have been written in Your book before one of them came to be".... Oh, to see the written ordained days of mine that my God has written! Oh, to know that He not only knows, but that He takes the time to write them!
I'll close with this. I found myself singing these words today before I had time to think of what my mouth was singing. It was only as I sang them that I thought of the words I was saying. "This is my story. This is my song. Praising my Savior, all the day long. This is my story. This is my song. Praising my Savior, all the day... Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine! O what a foretaste of Glory Divine! Heir of salvation, purchased of God, Born of His Spirit, washed in His blood. This is my story. This is my song. Praising my Savior, all the day long............"
Well, I have a story! And I have a song1 And you have a story and a song, as well. Oh, to be able to tell of it while praising your Savior! For if not for Him, my story would be so horribly different!
I read once that during a particular war in the Transvaal in the late 1800s that when the soldiers going to the front were passing other soldiers of theirs in whom they recognized that their greetings used to be, 'Four-nine-four, boys; four-nine-four'.... and their salute would quickly be answered with, 'Six-further-on, boys; six further on.' The significance of this was that in a song book sent to the front, number 494 was "God Be With You Til We Meet Again;".... and six songs past that one ('six further on', on page 500) was "Blessed Assurance, Jesus Is Mine"... this song of which just now that I quoted from above.
Four-nine-four, reader, four-nine-four!
And too, Six-further-one, reader... six-further-on!
We're in such a battle on this earthly sod! May God be with you till we meet again! And may you have that blessed assurance that Jesus is yours as you let Him write your story and you sing His song!
.
Well... it's been a minute since I've been on here. No? It's been almost a month since I've voiced something on this reserved space on the Internet of mine. I'd like to write an excuse to tell why I've been absent. Why I've been gone. Why I've been silent. But I don't really have one. I haven't died. Nothing sadly seriously horrible has happened. I've not been sick. No deaths in the family. I've not slept through the last 29 days. I've still gotten up every morning. I've been busy, but I've not been more busy than normal. I've still gone about the normalcy of my everyday stuff. Honestly? I don't know why I've not written.
I've often had lots to say. Too much to say perhaps. But as I find often, sometimes somethings and feelings and events and findings are too big for words. I've simply failed at knowing how to verbalize them. It's been too hard to capsule my thinking and stuff them into a few black words typed upon the stage of a white canvased page on a computer screen.
I've been studying a lot. I can't tell you how often in Scripture the words that I've read have jumped into the very depths of my soul and stirred my mind's thinking. How they've moved me to wonder. How they've pierced me to ponder. How they've caused me to plead in prayer the things that they've said and have been saying to me. I wonder at why I've heard them? I wonder at why my Father has said them?
The words that woe (whoa!) me are more times than not the same words that woed / whoaed me the last time that I passed by their stayed place on the pages of Holy Writ and read them. I suppose that God wanted me to see them again. He not only wanted me to remember, He wanted to remind me. He wanted to emphasize the seriousness again. He simply needed to tell me again in case I'd forgotten them. And I have no doubt, I know that with that again telling, that God has reason and purpose in His plan to tell me. It makes me want to get-it deeper this time! It makes me wonder what He's got ahead for me and what He's equipping and preparing me for through His saying in what lies ahead of me on His Divinely Kingdom Prepared Calendar.
I love His voice! I love His Word! I love to hear Him! I love when what He's said hits hard and pierces deep and provokes to thinking to then hopefully move me enough to do and obey them.
Along with basking at the feet of our Great Teacher in the past month, I've sat in a boat load of parole hearings. I've been in and out in the prisons talking more extensively with those people in them. I've picked recently released prisoners up and spent the day with them in their first few breaths of new again felt freedom. I've labored over their hard and have continued to bring so many of them to the Throne of Grace for all the variety of ways that they need Him. I've had the faired share of family crises with my mom and my siblings. And I've both pageant-ed and prom-ed and shared so many fun times with my husband and children. We've had Ups and Downs and All-Arounds... and God is always faithful and GOoD! So GOoD, in fact, that I feel I dare never have reason to complain because even through the trials He's blessed us so greatly!
I make no promises, but I'll do my best to try and go back and catch up on some of the things that have happened in the last month so as to document and not lose memory of those failed-to-be-voiced days that I've been given. I now regret that my fingers have been on lock-down from their typing, I feel too behind now to catch up. The pondering processes in my mind were obviously too slow with too much of a cycling to be able to release my mind's activity to blogged memory. Oh, that I would take time to write every day to record them! If only for me alone, I LOVE to go back and see the trail of where I've walked on this pilgrimage that I've been assigned to.
"All the days ordained for me have been written in Your book before one of them came to be".... Oh, to see the written ordained days of mine that my God has written! Oh, to know that He not only knows, but that He takes the time to write them!
I'll close with this. I found myself singing these words today before I had time to think of what my mouth was singing. It was only as I sang them that I thought of the words I was saying. "This is my story. This is my song. Praising my Savior, all the day long. This is my story. This is my song. Praising my Savior, all the day... Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine! O what a foretaste of Glory Divine! Heir of salvation, purchased of God, Born of His Spirit, washed in His blood. This is my story. This is my song. Praising my Savior, all the day long............"
Well, I have a story! And I have a song1 And you have a story and a song, as well. Oh, to be able to tell of it while praising your Savior! For if not for Him, my story would be so horribly different!
I read once that during a particular war in the Transvaal in the late 1800s that when the soldiers going to the front were passing other soldiers of theirs in whom they recognized that their greetings used to be, 'Four-nine-four, boys; four-nine-four'.... and their salute would quickly be answered with, 'Six-further-on, boys; six further on.' The significance of this was that in a song book sent to the front, number 494 was "God Be With You Til We Meet Again;".... and six songs past that one ('six further on', on page 500) was "Blessed Assurance, Jesus Is Mine"... this song of which just now that I quoted from above.
Four-nine-four, reader, four-nine-four!
And too, Six-further-one, reader... six-further-on!
We're in such a battle on this earthly sod! May God be with you till we meet again! And may you have that blessed assurance that Jesus is yours as you let Him write your story and you sing His song!
.
Monday, April 16, 2012
Dressing Our Mess
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I read her post several times. And as I commented to her, I loved it anew with every new next time that I read it. I love the statement that she opens her post with, "Every time we get dressed we tell the story of the Fall of humanity"...
Hmmm... EVERY TIME(!!!) we get dressed!!!
EVERY TIME that we get dressed(!!!).. we tell the story of the Fall of humanity!
How true that is, I told her! How perfectly "fitting" to sum up our dressing! I've realized for years that we do a whole lot of dress-ups, but Carole Chaput put a whole new spin on my mind's thinking of it. Click here: Dressing Our Mess if you'd like to be as blessed as I was! I'm sure you'll find (as I did) that the picture she paints is a profound one! Enjoy! Profoundly said, Carole, thanks so much for sharing! I'd say more... but I don't need to. Why? Because she did. :)
.
Hmmm... EVERY TIME(!!!) we get dressed!!!
EVERY TIME that we get dressed(!!!).. we tell the story of the Fall of humanity!
How true that is, I told her! How perfectly "fitting" to sum up our dressing! I've realized for years that we do a whole lot of dress-ups, but Carole Chaput put a whole new spin on my mind's thinking of it. Click here: Dressing Our Mess if you'd like to be as blessed as I was! I'm sure you'll find (as I did) that the picture she paints is a profound one! Enjoy! Profoundly said, Carole, thanks so much for sharing! I'd say more... but I don't need to. Why? Because she did. :)
.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
That's what they did to my Savior
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Betrayed. Denied. Falsely accused. Tried. Condemned. Convicted. Rejected. Ridiculed. Persecuted. Mocked. Beaten. Bruised. Scourged. Flogged. Whipped. Ripped. Split open. Spit upon. Slapped. Hit. Shamed. Nailed. Hung. Yelled at. Scorned. Despised. Shunned. Scoffed at. Pierced. Plotted against....
That's what they did to my Savior!
While He... was lead to His death, He was as silent as a lamb before them. And while hanging in agony upon the tree that held Him, He pleaded with His Father, "Father, forgive them, they know not what they do"........
WHO, but a Savior, does that?!
"They" weren't the only ones that did this. WE did it too! I did! And He died anyway... knowing we would!
I remember a long ago Sunday morning. I was by myself. Driving old winding country roads to the old country church that I grew up in where my parents still attended. I was living a lie, I was ensnared by the enemy, caught in an evil trap, doing things that I knew better to do because a Christian is taught not to do them... And yet, I was doing it anyway, but hiding it. All the while, still wearing the fake facade, the masquerade, still pretending to be what I wasn't, being a full-fledged hypocrite and hating myself for it. On that morning driving toward that church I heard this song below play on my radio... and the agony of the reality while I listened and tears streamed is what started the change in me. I couldn't bear the thought of hurting (again) the Savior Who died to set me free!
Betrayed. Denied. Falsely accused. Tried. Condemned. Convicted. Rejected. Ridiculed. Persecuted. Mocked. Beaten. Bruised. Scourged. Flogged. Whipped. Ripped. Split open. Spit upon. Slapped. Hit. Shamed. Nailed. Hung. Yelled at. Scorned. Despised. Shunned. Scoffed at. Pierced. Plotted against....
That's what they did to my Savior!
While He... was lead to His death, He was as silent as a lamb before them. And while hanging in agony upon the tree that held Him, He pleaded with His Father, "Father, forgive them, they know not what they do"........
WHO, but a Savior, does that?!
"They" weren't the only ones that did this. WE did it too! I did! And He died anyway... knowing we would!
I remember a long ago Sunday morning. I was by myself. Driving old winding country roads to the old country church that I grew up in where my parents still attended. I was living a lie, I was ensnared by the enemy, caught in an evil trap, doing things that I knew better to do because a Christian is taught not to do them... And yet, I was doing it anyway, but hiding it. All the while, still wearing the fake facade, the masquerade, still pretending to be what I wasn't, being a full-fledged hypocrite and hating myself for it. On that morning driving toward that church I heard this song below play on my radio... and the agony of the reality while I listened and tears streamed is what started the change in me. I couldn't bear the thought of hurting (again) the Savior Who died to set me free!
Does He Still Feel the Nails
by Ray Botlz
They tell me Jesus died
For my transgressions
That He paid that price a long, long time ago
When He gave His life for me
On a hill called Calvary
But there's something else I want to know
(Chorus)
Does He still feel the nails
Every time I fail
Can He hear the crowd cry "Crucify" again
Am I causing Him pain
Then I know I've got to change
I just can't bear the thought of hurting Him.
It seems that I'm so good at breaking promises
And I treat His precious grace so carelessly
But each time He forgives
What if He re-lives
The agony He felt on that tree
(Chorus)
Does He still feel the nails
Every time I fail
Can He hear the crowd cry "Crucify" again
Am I causing Him pain
Then I know I've got to change
I just can't bear the thought of hurting Him.
Holy Holy
Holy is the Lord
Holy Holy
Holy is the Lord
Do You still feel the nails
Every time I fail
Have I crucified You, Jesus, with my sins
I really want to change
I never want to hurt you again
Holy Holy
Holy is the Lord
Holy Holy
Holy is the Lord
Holy Holy
Holy is the Lord
Holy Holy
Holy is the Lord
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Sunday, April 1, 2012
What was it like?
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What was it like for Jesus? What was it like for Him on the week before His crucifixion? What was it like on the days leading up to it? What was it like on Sunday... on Monday... on Tuesday, and Wednesday, and then the morning of Thursday?
What did His mind think? What did His heart feel? What did His prayers pray? I can't imagine... though I wonder.... what was it like?
Often a horror can happen in our life. Something the likes that we've not thought of or prepared ourselves for. Something that devastates, robs, hurts, beats, bleeds, persecutes, excruciates, steals, kills, destroys, and leaves us raw and writhing and desperate. And yet, when that kind of thing happens to us rarely do we know it ahead of time... Rarely do we anticipate it with troubled throbbed heartbeats of fear, or I don't want it to, or I wish it wouldn't, so that we might pray against it ahead of time. What was it like for Jesus... to know in advance? To know what those days were leading Him toward and taking Him to? Each tick and each tock clicked Him closer..... What was it like for Him to feel that?
I know it's what He came for. I know He knew that that was what He came for. Yet even He prayed that if it didn't have to, for it not to happen. What was it like as He sweated those great drops of blood bowing before His Father in pained begging anguish? Splayed in the garden, laid out before Him, telling His Father that He didn't want it, but that He'd do it still if His Father wanted it for Him? What was it like for His Father to hear Him? To see Him? To watch Him? To feel Him? To know Him? To hurt with Him?
And yet.............they Both did it anyway! For me! And for you! Because we would be lost and doomed to Hell without it.
What was it like? The suffering? The anguish? Who did it, did what He both did and didn't want to do..... He did it "'for the joy set before Him"... the joy that was me, and was you, and was all those that He fights for everyday to save in order to one day take to His Kingdom!
What was it like?
Wow... at the price He paid for me! Knowing my sin. Knowing my wrong. Knowing my rebellion. Knowing I'd hurt Him. He did it anyway.
What was it like? What did He think? It's something that cannot be fathomed. And yet, His focus was on my face, on your face, on the face of your loved ones, on the face of your enemies (who He still seeks to save!)... and the joy of the knowing that He was one day closer to bringing those who love Him Home!
.
What was it like for Jesus? What was it like for Him on the week before His crucifixion? What was it like on the days leading up to it? What was it like on Sunday... on Monday... on Tuesday, and Wednesday, and then the morning of Thursday?
What did His mind think? What did His heart feel? What did His prayers pray? I can't imagine... though I wonder.... what was it like?
Often a horror can happen in our life. Something the likes that we've not thought of or prepared ourselves for. Something that devastates, robs, hurts, beats, bleeds, persecutes, excruciates, steals, kills, destroys, and leaves us raw and writhing and desperate. And yet, when that kind of thing happens to us rarely do we know it ahead of time... Rarely do we anticipate it with troubled throbbed heartbeats of fear, or I don't want it to, or I wish it wouldn't, so that we might pray against it ahead of time. What was it like for Jesus... to know in advance? To know what those days were leading Him toward and taking Him to? Each tick and each tock clicked Him closer..... What was it like for Him to feel that?
I know it's what He came for. I know He knew that that was what He came for. Yet even He prayed that if it didn't have to, for it not to happen. What was it like as He sweated those great drops of blood bowing before His Father in pained begging anguish? Splayed in the garden, laid out before Him, telling His Father that He didn't want it, but that He'd do it still if His Father wanted it for Him? What was it like for His Father to hear Him? To see Him? To watch Him? To feel Him? To know Him? To hurt with Him?
And yet.............they Both did it anyway! For me! And for you! Because we would be lost and doomed to Hell without it.
What was it like? The suffering? The anguish? Who did it, did what He both did and didn't want to do..... He did it "'for the joy set before Him"... the joy that was me, and was you, and was all those that He fights for everyday to save in order to one day take to His Kingdom!
What was it like?
Wow... at the price He paid for me! Knowing my sin. Knowing my wrong. Knowing my rebellion. Knowing I'd hurt Him. He did it anyway.
What was it like? What did He think? It's something that cannot be fathomed. And yet, His focus was on my face, on your face, on the face of your loved ones, on the face of your enemies (who He still seeks to save!)... and the joy of the knowing that He was one day closer to bringing those who love Him Home!
.
Saturday, March 31, 2012
His Word that's sent is sent to "do"
.
After yesterday's post... it slapped me back into an old yesterday... a moment that I've lived many times with my Lord. I've written about something similar before... like I said, after yesterday's post, I had to re-post this particular old post again....
Wow! I cried all the way home from church (not that its very far, but nevertheless, I cried the whole way of it). Then, I let my dog outside in my backyard (as soon as I walked through the front door I walked out the back) and cried more with my LORD out there under those stars... in total awe of Him....
....because just as He spoke, just as "the word came" to man all those years ago... it STILL COMES. He STILL speaks(!) Just as He did then, He still does so now..... He still sends forth His Word (to accomplish the purpose for which He sent it!), and it still does (exactly what it was sent forth to do!).
I am awed at His voice! I'm amazed at the wonder of Him. He blows my mind. I want to know Him, and hear the words that He has sent forth to me to say. My heart feels just as Samuel answered Him when Samuel finally realized and knew that it was the LORD Himself that was calling his name,... I want to say to the LORD as he said to Him: "Speak, for Your servant is listening."
I want His Word that He has sent forth and spoke so specifically to me, as He this time called my name, to accomplish the work that it was sent forth to do. God told Samuel when He called his name: "And the LORD said to Samuel: "See, I am about to do something...."" And that's it, that's why He called..... and that's the very reason He always calls... He calls to "do something!".... Every time! Every time(!), every time(!), every time(!), every time(!), every time(!) that He calls, He calls, because He's "about to do something!"
That's what it's all about! His Word "doing!" His Word doing something! His Word sent forth to accomplish it's purpose! His Word sent forth to do His will. His Word is alive and active.... and His Word "does!"
Wow!!! ... He's just so wow!!!
Today I was tired-er than tired! I don't know that I've ever felt so bad from being so tired. I felt dizzy, I felt drunk, I felt horrible. I went to bed sometime after 6 this morning, and Boo got me up @ 10. I fully intended to lay back down, because I felt so wretched, sick even... but I started studying and never did lay back down again. I studied one chapter, but had plans on teaching another. I don't know what in the world I was thinking... I was just so into what I was studying. The time went faster than I would have liked, it was soon time to pick the kids up, but before I left I went ahead and printed out the chapter, but still had yet to put the first thing down on paper for our handout. I felt so bad between the hours of picking up kids and the hour for church to start that I seriously thought the whole time that I would not be able to make it for lack of being able to function for it. I was just feeling so sick. Anyway, after the kid pick-up I sat at my computer with my chapter in hand and begin to type questions that we would use for our night. I wasn't thrilled at all with our lesson. I was even less thrilled with what I put on paper.......
............. but after all, it's HIS Word. His Breath. His fire. His Son! - for "in the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God and the Word was God!".... He's fully able to make it breathe and feed... for it's "alive and active." And whoa, was His message full of Splendor and Glory tonight!!!! I'm so amazed at Him!!!! Spoke to me He did; and I needed speaking to! I saw a class, too, of little ears turned to hear, and eyes seeking to see, I saw hearts being moved... His lesson (what first did not thrill me) thrilled!!!!
I didn't know tonight's message until He spoke it to me there. I had no idea. You would think I had nothing to do with the planning of it (and I grin as I say that, because I didN'T!).
I got in the car to come home. I told you that I cried with Him there. Usually I have someone riding with me. Tonight I did not. I didn't need to, I needed to speak with Him Alone. And as I talked with Him the verse that talks about "a hope for which we are called" came into my mind. I thought: We're called to a hope! We're called to a hope! We are called.... to a hope! What's the "hope" that I've been called for? What's the "hope" to which I've been "called to"? "The Word" in my care that was sent to me, to "which I was called" as it came forth to accomplish its purpose?
1 Samuel 3 tells us that, "The LORD was with Samuel as he grew up, and he let none of His words fall to the ground."
Do I hold onto each word spoken to me, sent forth directly to me, and keep them from falling to the ground? As the Word is compared to the Sower and His Seed, how am I doing with His Seed? Do I shush the birds away as Satan tries to steal it? Do I feel the thrill of it's joy when I first hear what He's spoken to me, but then let it die in a short while because it had no root to grow? When "trouble or persecution" comes, am I guilty of doing opposite of what Samuel did and let His Words fall to the ground? Do I ignore the things that are put there to distract me (worries, desires, worldly stuff) or do I fall for their distraction? Can I say that I really: "hear the Word"... and "accept it"(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) while it produces its crop (30, 60, or even a 100 fold)?
How am I doing with His Word?? How am I doing with the Seed that He's given me? How am I doing with the "hope" to which I was called.
I had to look up that verse when I got home, the one about the "hope to which you were called." I didn't have it quoted just right for the versions that I usually use, so I'm not sure if I've got it mis-quoted some or couldn't find exactly what I was looking for. But it's meaning to me sent me on a treasure hunt. For I felt (after Him saying some of the things that He said in class tonight), that we've each been "called" for a specific thing; we each have our "word" that He's called us "for" and "to" to accomplish the thing that He's about to "do." ["And the LORD said to Samuel: "See, I am about to do something...."" - 1 Sam 3:11]. After finding the verses in Ephesians 4, I saw them differently than I've ever seen them before. It was so huge, and too huge to attempt and to try to write here. I'm just blown away with God & His whole everything!!! I'm just 'wowed' beyond words...... And I guess I just wanted to sing to someone and give Him praise tonight, for all the wonderful things that He does do!
Again I shall quote what He said, He said: "...to Samuel: "See, I am about to do something in Israel that will make the ears of everyone who hears of it tingle. At that time I will carry out....." [1 Sam. 3:11,12]. I absolutely LOVE those words!!! "See, I am about to do something!!!!!", He said! "See".... I'm about "to do something!".... I'm about to do something that "will make the ears of everyone who hears of it tingle! At that time I will carry out (dot, dot, dot).................." He sends forth His Word... He tells what His Word will do, His Word tells of it's accomplishment, He sends it forth as He speaks it to the one that will hear... it's sent "to do" His "something" that He's sent it to do. He sends forth His Word... then, when the time comes for His Word to accomplish its Work. then, "at that time [He] will carry [it] out!" He's just so HUGE!
I don't know if all this makes sense, but if able I could write volumes more... but on top of it just being too big of a God-thing to write, I'm incredibly tired... and morning comes early!
night!... i just felt the need to tell of His Glory,
His Light doth Shine!
After yesterday's post... it slapped me back into an old yesterday... a moment that I've lived many times with my Lord. I've written about something similar before... like I said, after yesterday's post, I had to re-post this particular old post again....
....because just as He spoke, just as "the word came" to man all those years ago... it STILL COMES. He STILL speaks(!) Just as He did then, He still does so now..... He still sends forth His Word (to accomplish the purpose for which He sent it!), and it still does (exactly what it was sent forth to do!).
I am awed at His voice! I'm amazed at the wonder of Him. He blows my mind. I want to know Him, and hear the words that He has sent forth to me to say. My heart feels just as Samuel answered Him when Samuel finally realized and knew that it was the LORD Himself that was calling his name,... I want to say to the LORD as he said to Him: "Speak, for Your servant is listening."
I want His Word that He has sent forth and spoke so specifically to me, as He this time called my name, to accomplish the work that it was sent forth to do. God told Samuel when He called his name: "And the LORD said to Samuel: "See, I am about to do something...."" And that's it, that's why He called..... and that's the very reason He always calls... He calls to "do something!".... Every time! Every time(!), every time(!), every time(!), every time(!), every time(!) that He calls, He calls, because He's "about to do something!"
That's what it's all about! His Word "doing!" His Word doing something! His Word sent forth to accomplish it's purpose! His Word sent forth to do His will. His Word is alive and active.... and His Word "does!"
Wow!!! ... He's just so wow!!!
Today I was tired-er than tired! I don't know that I've ever felt so bad from being so tired. I felt dizzy, I felt drunk, I felt horrible. I went to bed sometime after 6 this morning, and Boo got me up @ 10. I fully intended to lay back down, because I felt so wretched, sick even... but I started studying and never did lay back down again. I studied one chapter, but had plans on teaching another. I don't know what in the world I was thinking... I was just so into what I was studying. The time went faster than I would have liked, it was soon time to pick the kids up, but before I left I went ahead and printed out the chapter, but still had yet to put the first thing down on paper for our handout. I felt so bad between the hours of picking up kids and the hour for church to start that I seriously thought the whole time that I would not be able to make it for lack of being able to function for it. I was just feeling so sick. Anyway, after the kid pick-up I sat at my computer with my chapter in hand and begin to type questions that we would use for our night. I wasn't thrilled at all with our lesson. I was even less thrilled with what I put on paper.......
............. but after all, it's HIS Word. His Breath. His fire. His Son! - for "in the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God and the Word was God!".... He's fully able to make it breathe and feed... for it's "alive and active." And whoa, was His message full of Splendor and Glory tonight!!!! I'm so amazed at Him!!!! Spoke to me He did; and I needed speaking to! I saw a class, too, of little ears turned to hear, and eyes seeking to see, I saw hearts being moved... His lesson (what first did not thrill me) thrilled!!!!
I didn't know tonight's message until He spoke it to me there. I had no idea. You would think I had nothing to do with the planning of it (and I grin as I say that, because I didN'T!).
I got in the car to come home. I told you that I cried with Him there. Usually I have someone riding with me. Tonight I did not. I didn't need to, I needed to speak with Him Alone. And as I talked with Him the verse that talks about "a hope for which we are called" came into my mind. I thought: We're called to a hope! We're called to a hope! We are called.... to a hope! What's the "hope" that I've been called for? What's the "hope" to which I've been "called to"? "The Word" in my care that was sent to me, to "which I was called" as it came forth to accomplish its purpose?
1 Samuel 3 tells us that, "The LORD was with Samuel as he grew up, and he let none of His words fall to the ground."
Do I hold onto each word spoken to me, sent forth directly to me, and keep them from falling to the ground? As the Word is compared to the Sower and His Seed, how am I doing with His Seed? Do I shush the birds away as Satan tries to steal it? Do I feel the thrill of it's joy when I first hear what He's spoken to me, but then let it die in a short while because it had no root to grow? When "trouble or persecution" comes, am I guilty of doing opposite of what Samuel did and let His Words fall to the ground? Do I ignore the things that are put there to distract me (worries, desires, worldly stuff) or do I fall for their distraction? Can I say that I really: "hear the Word"... and "accept it"(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) while it produces its crop (30, 60, or even a 100 fold)?
How am I doing with His Word?? How am I doing with the Seed that He's given me? How am I doing with the "hope" to which I was called.
I had to look up that verse when I got home, the one about the "hope to which you were called." I didn't have it quoted just right for the versions that I usually use, so I'm not sure if I've got it mis-quoted some or couldn't find exactly what I was looking for. But it's meaning to me sent me on a treasure hunt. For I felt (after Him saying some of the things that He said in class tonight), that we've each been "called" for a specific thing; we each have our "word" that He's called us "for" and "to" to accomplish the thing that He's about to "do." ["And the LORD said to Samuel: "See, I am about to do something...."" - 1 Sam 3:11]. After finding the verses in Ephesians 4, I saw them differently than I've ever seen them before. It was so huge, and too huge to attempt and to try to write here. I'm just blown away with God & His whole everything!!! I'm just 'wowed' beyond words...... And I guess I just wanted to sing to someone and give Him praise tonight, for all the wonderful things that He does do!
Again I shall quote what He said, He said: "...to Samuel: "See, I am about to do something in Israel that will make the ears of everyone who hears of it tingle. At that time I will carry out....." [1 Sam. 3:11,12]. I absolutely LOVE those words!!! "See, I am about to do something!!!!!", He said! "See".... I'm about "to do something!".... I'm about to do something that "will make the ears of everyone who hears of it tingle! At that time I will carry out (dot, dot, dot).................." He sends forth His Word... He tells what His Word will do, His Word tells of it's accomplishment, He sends it forth as He speaks it to the one that will hear... it's sent "to do" His "something" that He's sent it to do. He sends forth His Word... then, when the time comes for His Word to accomplish its Work. then, "at that time [He] will carry [it] out!" He's just so HUGE!
I don't know if all this makes sense, but if able I could write volumes more... but on top of it just being too big of a God-thing to write, I'm incredibly tired... and morning comes early!
night!... i just felt the need to tell of His Glory,
His Light doth Shine!
Friday, March 30, 2012
He's prepared in advance the work He's called me to do.
.
Wow, glancing back over my blog, I realize that there's so much that I have not posted about. The last couple of weeks have held one whoa-ing wonder after another. I hate that I didn't make myself stop long enough to record it. It's way too much to attempt to gather into a cup to serve now. But wow, I so wish I had.. I so wish I could!
I feel like I've been around the world and back. But that's a great exaggeration. I've stayed within the limits of my own state, yet let me say, we've put some miles on some wheels in the last 14 days. We've been in lots of prisons. And oh at the people that I've had the opportunity to be touched by! I LOVE my "job"... even if I don't get paid. :) The rewards I'm blessed with far exceed what silver and gold have to offer me.
Back in Tutwiler for another Wednesday night service was such fun! Who knew that prison would feel so much like "home"? I've said it a thousand times and will say it thousands of times more, I love those girls that God has graced me the opportunity to serve!
I took a young girl (22 yrs old) with me on Wednesday. It was her first visit. Her first experience. She got in the vehicle afterward wildly ecstatic! She said, "Oh my goodness, you were all over the place in the lesson, but I can't believe how every next thing, every next verse, every next example, every next story so perfectly intertwined and fit and tied together!" She said, "They loved you!" She said, "My heart was burning!!! I mean, it was burning!! It literally hurt!! My heart has never burned like that before!!"
I reminded her of the two men that Luke 24 tells us of on their walk to Emmaus after Jesus had been crucified. I reminded her of how at first they didn't recognize Jesus when He appeared and walked with them. I reminded her of how we're told that Jesus started with Moses and all the Prophets and explained to them all of what was said concerning Him in all the Scriptures. And then I reminded her of when their eyes were opened and they recognized Him and He disappeared from their sight what they said to each other: "Were not our hearts burning within us while He talked with us on the road and opened the Scriptures to us?"! That's the kind of burning in our hearts that only Jesus can give! That's the kind of burning inside that I long for, and constantly long for more of!
She loved it! She loved the ladies! She could so relate. Her mom had spent some time in prison. So had other members of her family. So when she had the opportunity to pray with any of those girls that asked her to, she was all over it! She was beckoning the power of Heaven to come down on them. Let me tell you something, that girl can pray!
It was awesome! We had a tremendous time together! She was like me, when it was time to go, neither one of us was ready to leave.
One particular girl came up to me afterward. Her name was Sabrina, the same name as my youngest child. She said to me, "I want to do what you do!! I know that it's what God is calling me to!"
Wow! Powerful! I told her then to take advantage of every minute of time that she was given here! To keep her face in God's Word, to stay seated (like Mary) at the feet of Jesus! To not only serve her time here until her sentence was done, but to serve her Savior in the place that He's got her! I prayed that God would mold her unto a mighty warrior and that He would use her in ways her mind cannot even begin to fathom.
I left there thanking God a zillion times. I've said it ["Thank YOU"] over and over and over again to Him since Wednesday night's service. I go to bed thanking Him. I wake up thanking Him. And thanked Him thousands of times all throughout my day... even when I wake throughout the night. I can't tell you how awed I am of Him and all that He does! I get so scared beforehand every time! Although I have all the want-to in the world to do it, when it comes time to, I always hope that someone else will step in and take over. Fear swallowed me again so fiercely on Wednesday afternoon. I was so afraid that I could hardly stand the thickness of the fear. I was a basket case. I texted and beckoned prayers from my best-ever-out-of-state friend. On top of all else that she prayed for, she prayed for my peace. And literally within minutes I felt peace wash over me. So much so, that I put all of my notes away and refused to look at the lesson or study or prepare anymore. My trust was in God to do HIS thang... and not for me to do what I hoped He would! And wildly, HE DID!!! He DID! HE did it again!! Just like all the other times!!!!!!! And yesterday, I figured it out. I figured out why I get so afraid. It's always SO GOOD! So incredibly GOOD! So beyond me GOOD! That I think that it surely it can't be that GOOD again! And yet, of course it is! It's HIS WORD! It's ALL GOOD! Why in the world would I think any less??? I'm blown away by it still! And thrilled that my God would let me be a part!!!!
I again say what I so often do, God is raising an army within the prisons! He's lighting a fire! He's growing a passion! He's teaching them, equipping them, empowering them, and sending them out! Oh, that they are still faithful when they get beyond those barred gates that right now keep them fenced in! I am more exposed to the women prisons than the men's... And yet, I realized last week that He is perhaps doing even greater things in the men's. I grin as I type this because of the memory, but woe, last week I saw the multitudes praising and hailing our Savior... awed by the wonder of His love, amazed at His grace, and loving the Son that God has sent them! I watched the captives that are truly set free worship Him freely in prison this week!
.
Wow, glancing back over my blog, I realize that there's so much that I have not posted about. The last couple of weeks have held one whoa-ing wonder after another. I hate that I didn't make myself stop long enough to record it. It's way too much to attempt to gather into a cup to serve now. But wow, I so wish I had.. I so wish I could!
I feel like I've been around the world and back. But that's a great exaggeration. I've stayed within the limits of my own state, yet let me say, we've put some miles on some wheels in the last 14 days. We've been in lots of prisons. And oh at the people that I've had the opportunity to be touched by! I LOVE my "job"... even if I don't get paid. :) The rewards I'm blessed with far exceed what silver and gold have to offer me.
Back in Tutwiler for another Wednesday night service was such fun! Who knew that prison would feel so much like "home"? I've said it a thousand times and will say it thousands of times more, I love those girls that God has graced me the opportunity to serve!
I took a young girl (22 yrs old) with me on Wednesday. It was her first visit. Her first experience. She got in the vehicle afterward wildly ecstatic! She said, "Oh my goodness, you were all over the place in the lesson, but I can't believe how every next thing, every next verse, every next example, every next story so perfectly intertwined and fit and tied together!" She said, "They loved you!" She said, "My heart was burning!!! I mean, it was burning!! It literally hurt!! My heart has never burned like that before!!"
I reminded her of the two men that Luke 24 tells us of on their walk to Emmaus after Jesus had been crucified. I reminded her of how at first they didn't recognize Jesus when He appeared and walked with them. I reminded her of how we're told that Jesus started with Moses and all the Prophets and explained to them all of what was said concerning Him in all the Scriptures. And then I reminded her of when their eyes were opened and they recognized Him and He disappeared from their sight what they said to each other: "Were not our hearts burning within us while He talked with us on the road and opened the Scriptures to us?"! That's the kind of burning in our hearts that only Jesus can give! That's the kind of burning inside that I long for, and constantly long for more of!
She loved it! She loved the ladies! She could so relate. Her mom had spent some time in prison. So had other members of her family. So when she had the opportunity to pray with any of those girls that asked her to, she was all over it! She was beckoning the power of Heaven to come down on them. Let me tell you something, that girl can pray!
It was awesome! We had a tremendous time together! She was like me, when it was time to go, neither one of us was ready to leave.
One particular girl came up to me afterward. Her name was Sabrina, the same name as my youngest child. She said to me, "I want to do what you do!! I know that it's what God is calling me to!"
Wow! Powerful! I told her then to take advantage of every minute of time that she was given here! To keep her face in God's Word, to stay seated (like Mary) at the feet of Jesus! To not only serve her time here until her sentence was done, but to serve her Savior in the place that He's got her! I prayed that God would mold her unto a mighty warrior and that He would use her in ways her mind cannot even begin to fathom.
I left there thanking God a zillion times. I've said it ["Thank YOU"] over and over and over again to Him since Wednesday night's service. I go to bed thanking Him. I wake up thanking Him. And thanked Him thousands of times all throughout my day... even when I wake throughout the night. I can't tell you how awed I am of Him and all that He does! I get so scared beforehand every time! Although I have all the want-to in the world to do it, when it comes time to, I always hope that someone else will step in and take over. Fear swallowed me again so fiercely on Wednesday afternoon. I was so afraid that I could hardly stand the thickness of the fear. I was a basket case. I texted and beckoned prayers from my best-ever-out-of-state friend. On top of all else that she prayed for, she prayed for my peace. And literally within minutes I felt peace wash over me. So much so, that I put all of my notes away and refused to look at the lesson or study or prepare anymore. My trust was in God to do HIS thang... and not for me to do what I hoped He would! And wildly, HE DID!!! He DID! HE did it again!! Just like all the other times!!!!!!! And yesterday, I figured it out. I figured out why I get so afraid. It's always SO GOOD! So incredibly GOOD! So beyond me GOOD! That I think that it surely it can't be that GOOD again! And yet, of course it is! It's HIS WORD! It's ALL GOOD! Why in the world would I think any less??? I'm blown away by it still! And thrilled that my God would let me be a part!!!!
I again say what I so often do, God is raising an army within the prisons! He's lighting a fire! He's growing a passion! He's teaching them, equipping them, empowering them, and sending them out! Oh, that they are still faithful when they get beyond those barred gates that right now keep them fenced in! I am more exposed to the women prisons than the men's... And yet, I realized last week that He is perhaps doing even greater things in the men's. I grin as I type this because of the memory, but woe, last week I saw the multitudes praising and hailing our Savior... awed by the wonder of His love, amazed at His grace, and loving the Son that God has sent them! I watched the captives that are truly set free worship Him freely in prison this week!
.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
If the two "me"s could talk!
.
I got an email from a friend. She wrote:
"Never in my life have i been more excited about what I "do." ....... If you were to take May 20, 2004 and compare it to May 20, 2010, I would say that a huge change has taken place. When I look at myself in the mirror now, I still haven't acomplished many of the same things that I wanted to then. Yet, my whole life is different. Even what I want and why I want it is different. That is ecouraging."
Isn't it amazing how different we can become because of Jesus!!! If the two "me"s (the one that I "Was" and the one that I'm "Becoming") could stand facing each other today to talk I cannot even image what we would have to say to one another. Could they even relate enough to carry on a conversation? What would the Becoming say to the Was? Would Was even stand there to listen to Becoming? Would Is barge in? Could Becoming convince Was that Was didn't have to stay there where Was was? Would Was shake her head in sorrow to dare to even dream to become Become? Could Become see past the place where Was was, or would she be too repulsed at where Was was to hear her? Would Was even find an appealing interest in Becoming at all?.... ONLY God can take a Was to become the Becoming He'd hoped and planned for her!!!!!!!! Oh my, there would be NO hope without Him!
I don't have to think hard for my Is to remember my Was once standing and staring at myself in my bathroom mirror and asking the face that stared back at her: "Who are you? I don't even know who you are! And I don't like you at all!"
I remember getting an invitation to my 25th year high school reunion. I wrote to a friend then, "Twenty five years??????????? Can you even imagine the life that's gone on in between all those years on that time-line??? Who was that girl anyway 25 years ago? I don't know if I would recognize her? Well, maybe her laugh, but she would have never guessed who she'd be, who she'd become, what she'd do, where she'd go. You never could have told her then."
I also remember crying buckets after reading the invitation. I cried over the where-I-had-been years since I'd left there... and the I-would-never things that I had done and places I had never thought I'd go...... all in an effort of looking for life and love in all the wrong places.
Man, at how far Christ has brought me! I do hate all the wasted time, the time I lived in vain, all the time that I chose to focus my eyes on another attraction, yet all the while sacrificing so much for a miraged attraction that never would produce what it so falsely offered. I've a long way to go..... but I'm further than I used to be! I like my Is better than my Was... and I have even greater hopes for my Becoming because of the improvement between my Is compared to what I once Was!
It's as the song sings: He's still working on me, to make me what I ought to be. It took him just a week to make the moon and the stars.....
Thankfully we have a God Who Is, Who Was, and Who Is To Come! And thankfully, He can handle me in all of my times! Just as long as He's working.... Oh Lord, thank You for taking Was-es and Is-es and transforming them to Is-Becoming-s and making them each day to look more like Your image!
.
"Never in my life have i been more excited about what I "do." ....... If you were to take May 20, 2004 and compare it to May 20, 2010, I would say that a huge change has taken place. When I look at myself in the mirror now, I still haven't acomplished many of the same things that I wanted to then. Yet, my whole life is different. Even what I want and why I want it is different. That is ecouraging."
Isn't it amazing how different we can become because of Jesus!!! If the two "me"s (the one that I "Was" and the one that I'm "Becoming") could stand facing each other today to talk I cannot even image what we would have to say to one another. Could they even relate enough to carry on a conversation? What would the Becoming say to the Was? Would Was even stand there to listen to Becoming? Would Is barge in? Could Becoming convince Was that Was didn't have to stay there where Was was? Would Was shake her head in sorrow to dare to even dream to become Become? Could Become see past the place where Was was, or would she be too repulsed at where Was was to hear her? Would Was even find an appealing interest in Becoming at all?.... ONLY God can take a Was to become the Becoming He'd hoped and planned for her!!!!!!!! Oh my, there would be NO hope without Him!
I don't have to think hard for my Is to remember my Was once standing and staring at myself in my bathroom mirror and asking the face that stared back at her: "Who are you? I don't even know who you are! And I don't like you at all!"
I remember getting an invitation to my 25th year high school reunion. I wrote to a friend then, "Twenty five years??????????? Can you even imagine the life that's gone on in between all those years on that time-line??? Who was that girl anyway 25 years ago? I don't know if I would recognize her? Well, maybe her laugh, but she would have never guessed who she'd be, who she'd become, what she'd do, where she'd go. You never could have told her then."
I also remember crying buckets after reading the invitation. I cried over the where-I-had-been years since I'd left there... and the I-would-never things that I had done and places I had never thought I'd go...... all in an effort of looking for life and love in all the wrong places.
Man, at how far Christ has brought me! I do hate all the wasted time, the time I lived in vain, all the time that I chose to focus my eyes on another attraction, yet all the while sacrificing so much for a miraged attraction that never would produce what it so falsely offered. I've a long way to go..... but I'm further than I used to be! I like my Is better than my Was... and I have even greater hopes for my Becoming because of the improvement between my Is compared to what I once Was!
It's as the song sings: He's still working on me, to make me what I ought to be. It took him just a week to make the moon and the stars.....
Thankfully we have a God Who Is, Who Was, and Who Is To Come! And thankfully, He can handle me in all of my times! Just as long as He's working.... Oh Lord, thank You for taking Was-es and Is-es and transforming them to Is-Becoming-s and making them each day to look more like Your image!
.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Follow Jesus on Twitter - what it might have been like
.
My daughter introduced me to this video. I've watched it a thousand times since. I love the imagination (and some of the KNOWING) of what the twittering feed might have read like by the different whos that tweeted them in Jesus' day had they had Twitter like we do. I love seeing what Peter might have said. Or John. Or the Pharisees. Or the woman at the well. Etc. What would we have said if we had seen Him and tweeted our thinking? Tweeted our feelings? Or Facebooked them? Would we have clicked to "follow" Him or not? Do we say we'll follow Him... then don't? Do we only "follow" what we don't mind what He's told us to do, but un-follow Him when we're offended by (or don't like or agree with) what He's telling us? Do we "follow" one minute... then un-follow the next? Is that really following at all? Pilate said, "What shall I do with Jesus?".... What DO WE do with Him? What "shall" we do with Him? Do I mind Him on one thing, but don't mind Him on another? He was crucfified... He died... He rose... so that I could! So that I can die to self, too, and let Him live again in me! So that with His Spirit I can have the power to... even when at first when I don't want to. I want to FOLLOW FULLY! In all things! In everything! I don't want to just tweet it.... I want to feet it in my actions!
Here is a typed copy of the video's wording....
What's happening [on Twitter]: Prepare the way for the Lord. [Click Post]
Andrew: Could this be the Messiah? (1:33pm)
Peter: We have found the Christ! (1:34pm)
Andrew: @Peter Goodbye fishing! http://quikpic.com/463hy3 (1:34pm)
Peter: I will follow @Jesus anywhere! (9:13am)
Peter clicks @Jesus and then Follow. It now shows he's "Following."
Philip: He's the one Moses talked about (2:00pm)
Nathanael: But can anything good come from Nazareth? (2:03pm)
Philip: @Nathanael Come and see!
Nathanael (like Peter) clicks @Jesus and then Follow and is now Following Him.
James: Large crowds gather around Him.
John: Everyone is amazed!
Peter: He's healing diseases!
James: A paralyzed man just walked. #unbelievable
Pharisee#1: Hmmm... interesting.
Jesus' Followers are growing... it clicks from 100, to 101, 102, 103......109
Fisherman#1: His words ring so true.
Fisherman#2: Love our enemies too?! Wow.
Fisherman#1: Adultery, Divorce, Giving, Prayer... He's teaching on everything.
YoungScholar: @Fisherman#1 And with real authority. #amazing
SamaritanWoman: Unbelievable! A Jew spoke to me today. He knew everything about me.
SamaritanWoman: Could this be the Christ?
Jesus' Followers: 4,995, 4,996, 4,997, 4,998......5,003
Peter: He just fed thousands with only a handful of fish and bread!
Andrew: @Peter And there were leftovers!
Pharisee#1: He claims to be God himself! #blasphemy
Pharisee#2: He's been healing on the Sabbath.
Pharisee#1: He thinks he can forgive sins! #unfollowJesus
17,563, 17,564, 17,565, 17,564,17,563, 17,562 [going down]
James: Many followers are starting to turn away. #sad
John: I guess his teaching is starting to offend people.
Scripture of the Day: He was despised and rejected by mankind.
Jesus' Followers: 15,208, 15,207, 15,206, 15,205, 15,203, 15,202
Caiaphas Direct Message to Chief Priests and Elders:
Caiaphas: We must arrest this man.
Caiaphas: Talk to his disciples, Judas.
Andrew: Gathered with disciples for supper. #Passover
Peter: Something feels strange tonight.
Philip: Jesus just said one of us will betray him.
John: Surely not me!
Philip: And he said we'll all abandon him tonight.
Peter: NEVER! Even if I have to die, I will never stop following Jesus.
Jesus' Followers: 13,001, 13,000, 12,999, 12,998
James: Jesus is distraught and overwhelmed with grief.
John: It's very late... pray we can stay awake.
Jesus' Followers: 10,313, 10,312, 10,311, 10,310, 10309
Peter: A large crowd is coming!
Guard#1: We have Jesus! Let's take him to the high priest.
Guard#2: Look at his disciples flee!
Scripture of the Day: "I will strike the shepherd, and the sheep of the flock will be scattered."
7,604 7,603, 7,602, 7,601, 7,600, 7,599, 7,598, 7,597, 7,596, 7,595
ChiefPriest: @Council He has spoken blasphemy!
Council Member#1: He says he'll destroy the temple and rebuild it in 3 days.
Council Member#2: He's worthy of death!
5,007, 5,006, 5,005, 5,004, 5,003, 5,002........4,990,
Servant Girl#1: I thought I saw a disciple, but he denied following Jesus.
Servant Girl#2: H denied it to me too!
Peter: I SWEAR I do not know the man! [Peter clicks: Following... to Unfollowed
Pilate: @Crowd What should I do with Jesus?
Crowd: @Pilate CRUCIFY HIM! CRUCIFY HIM!
Pilate: My hands are clean.
2,155, 2,154, 2,153...........................................2,141
Soldier#1: Ordered to beat and torture Jesus.
Soldier#2: Who would ever FOLLOW this man?
Soldier#3: Let's get him to Golgotha.
Soldier#1: @Soldier#3 Make him carry his own cross!
1,005, 1,004, 1,003, 1,002, 1,001, 1,000, 999, 998, 997, 996, 995, 994, 993, 992, 991, 990, 989,
Soldier#2: Apparently he can save others but he can't save himself.
Local#1: He's speaking! Something to his Father.
Scripture of the Day: "Into Your hands I commit My spirit."
Local#2: It just got really dark.
Priest: AERT! The curtain in the temple just tore in two!
Centurion: Surely this was an innocent man.
Scripture of the Day: "He was pierced for our transgressions, and crushed for our iniquities."
TombGuard: @ChiefPriest Sir, the tomb is secure.
Scripture of the Day: "Thus it is written, that the Christ should suffer, and rise again from the dead the third day."
MaryMagdalene: Walking to the tomb.
MaryMagdalene: Speechless. [picture.. the stone is rolled away!]
Jesus' Followers: 100, 102,.........................................12,707,...........................17, Follow
.
My daughter introduced me to this video. I've watched it a thousand times since. I love the imagination (and some of the KNOWING) of what the twittering feed might have read like by the different whos that tweeted them in Jesus' day had they had Twitter like we do. I love seeing what Peter might have said. Or John. Or the Pharisees. Or the woman at the well. Etc. What would we have said if we had seen Him and tweeted our thinking? Tweeted our feelings? Or Facebooked them? Would we have clicked to "follow" Him or not? Do we say we'll follow Him... then don't? Do we only "follow" what we don't mind what He's told us to do, but un-follow Him when we're offended by (or don't like or agree with) what He's telling us? Do we "follow" one minute... then un-follow the next? Is that really following at all? Pilate said, "What shall I do with Jesus?".... What DO WE do with Him? What "shall" we do with Him? Do I mind Him on one thing, but don't mind Him on another? He was crucfified... He died... He rose... so that I could! So that I can die to self, too, and let Him live again in me! So that with His Spirit I can have the power to... even when at first when I don't want to. I want to FOLLOW FULLY! In all things! In everything! I don't want to just tweet it.... I want to feet it in my actions!
Here is a typed copy of the video's wording....
What's happening [on Twitter]: Prepare the way for the Lord. [Click Post]
Andrew: Could this be the Messiah? (1:33pm)
Peter: We have found the Christ! (1:34pm)
Andrew: @Peter Goodbye fishing! http://quikpic.com/463hy3 (1:34pm)
Peter: I will follow @Jesus anywhere! (9:13am)
Peter clicks @Jesus and then Follow. It now shows he's "Following."
Philip: He's the one Moses talked about (2:00pm)
Nathanael: But can anything good come from Nazareth? (2:03pm)
Philip: @Nathanael Come and see!
Nathanael (like Peter) clicks @Jesus and then Follow and is now Following Him.
James: Large crowds gather around Him.
John: Everyone is amazed!
Peter: He's healing diseases!
James: A paralyzed man just walked. #unbelievable
Pharisee#1: Hmmm... interesting.
Jesus' Followers are growing... it clicks from 100, to 101, 102, 103......109
Fisherman#1: His words ring so true.
Fisherman#2: Love our enemies too?! Wow.
Fisherman#1: Adultery, Divorce, Giving, Prayer... He's teaching on everything.
YoungScholar: @Fisherman#1 And with real authority. #amazing
SamaritanWoman: Unbelievable! A Jew spoke to me today. He knew everything about me.
SamaritanWoman: Could this be the Christ?
Jesus' Followers: 4,995, 4,996, 4,997, 4,998......5,003
Peter: He just fed thousands with only a handful of fish and bread!
Andrew: @Peter And there were leftovers!
Pharisee#1: He claims to be God himself! #blasphemy
Pharisee#2: He's been healing on the Sabbath.
Pharisee#1: He thinks he can forgive sins! #unfollowJesus
17,563, 17,564, 17,565, 17,564,17,563, 17,562 [going down]
James: Many followers are starting to turn away. #sad
John: I guess his teaching is starting to offend people.
Scripture of the Day: He was despised and rejected by mankind.
Jesus' Followers: 15,208, 15,207, 15,206, 15,205, 15,203, 15,202
Caiaphas Direct Message to Chief Priests and Elders:
Caiaphas: We must arrest this man.
Caiaphas: Talk to his disciples, Judas.
Andrew: Gathered with disciples for supper. #Passover
Peter: Something feels strange tonight.
Philip: Jesus just said one of us will betray him.
John: Surely not me!
Philip: And he said we'll all abandon him tonight.
Peter: NEVER! Even if I have to die, I will never stop following Jesus.
Jesus' Followers: 13,001, 13,000, 12,999, 12,998
James: Jesus is distraught and overwhelmed with grief.
John: It's very late... pray we can stay awake.
Jesus' Followers: 10,313, 10,312, 10,311, 10,310, 10309
Peter: A large crowd is coming!
Guard#1: We have Jesus! Let's take him to the high priest.
Guard#2: Look at his disciples flee!
Scripture of the Day: "I will strike the shepherd, and the sheep of the flock will be scattered."
7,604 7,603, 7,602, 7,601, 7,600, 7,599, 7,598, 7,597, 7,596, 7,595
ChiefPriest: @Council He has spoken blasphemy!
Council Member#1: He says he'll destroy the temple and rebuild it in 3 days.
Council Member#2: He's worthy of death!
5,007, 5,006, 5,005, 5,004, 5,003, 5,002........4,990,
Servant Girl#1: I thought I saw a disciple, but he denied following Jesus.
Servant Girl#2: H denied it to me too!
Peter: I SWEAR I do not know the man! [Peter clicks: Following... to Unfollowed
Pilate: @Crowd What should I do with Jesus?
Crowd: @Pilate CRUCIFY HIM! CRUCIFY HIM!
Pilate: My hands are clean.
2,155, 2,154, 2,153...........................................2,141
Soldier#1: Ordered to beat and torture Jesus.
Soldier#2: Who would ever FOLLOW this man?
Soldier#3: Let's get him to Golgotha.
Soldier#1: @Soldier#3 Make him carry his own cross!
1,005, 1,004, 1,003, 1,002, 1,001, 1,000, 999, 998, 997, 996, 995, 994, 993, 992, 991, 990, 989,
Soldier#2: Apparently he can save others but he can't save himself.
Local#1: He's speaking! Something to his Father.
Scripture of the Day: "Into Your hands I commit My spirit."
Local#2: It just got really dark.
Priest: AERT! The curtain in the temple just tore in two!
Centurion: Surely this was an innocent man.
Scripture of the Day: "He was pierced for our transgressions, and crushed for our iniquities."
TombGuard: @ChiefPriest Sir, the tomb is secure.
Scripture of the Day: "Thus it is written, that the Christ should suffer, and rise again from the dead the third day."
MaryMagdalene: Walking to the tomb.
MaryMagdalene: Speechless. [picture.. the stone is rolled away!]
Jesus' Followers: 100, 102,.........................................12,707,...........................17, Follow
.
Sunday, March 25, 2012
"I have seizures"
.
I was talking to a friend. She was telling me of her experience at a Homeless Shelter where she thought that she'd be ladling soup for their lunches. Instead, upon arrival she was whisked away on a whole different assignment before she realized what in the world they were doing. Bottom line is, they quickly pushed her into a room with the "homeless" and told her to go talk to them. In answer to her horrified wide-eyed woe that took control of her face, the guy told her, "Don't worry, they'll talk. They'll tell you everything."
Regardless of what he said. She worried! She went. But she was scared!
She saw a young woman working on a word puzzle. As my friend sat next to her she said, "Oh, I love puzzles! Could you use some company? Do you mind if I sit next to you and help?"
The woman nodded she could.
And then, the man was right... the woman just started talking. It was like he said, she told her everything. And then, right in the middle, like it was nothing, she said, "I have seizures."
"Oh!" my friend replied. And then to me she said, "What do you say to that?"
I was laughing hysterically! I felt that girl's feeling! I told my friend, "Oh my goodness, I have seizures too!" Maybe not the medical kind.... but like the story told of the boy in Matthew 17, I feel like sometimes when something's said or something hits, I'm like him. It throws me into the fire! Or sometimes into the water and tries to drown me. I need attention! I need help! I start seizing and lose control of myself!
I love that story! The one I just mentioned found in Matthew 17. Starting at verse 14, it's told like this:
"When they came to the crowd, a man approached Jesus and knelt before Him. "Lord, have mercy on my son," he said. "He has seizures and is suffering greatly. He often falls into the fire or into the water. I brought him to Your disciples, but they could not heal him." "O unbelieving and perverse generation," Jesus replied, "how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy here to Me." Jesus rebuked the demon, and it came out of the boy, and he was healed from that moment."
"Lord, have mercy on my son. He has seizures and is suffering greatly. He often falls into the fire or into the water."
NLT, "Lord, have mercy on my son. He has seizures and suffers terribly..."
NASB, "Lord, have mercy on my son, for he is a lunatic and is very ill...."
KJV (and my most favorite!), "Lord, have mercy on my son: for he is a lunatic, and sore vexed: for ofttimes he falleth into the fire, and oft into the water. And I brought him to Your disciples, and they could not cure him."
Jesus' reply was: "Bring the boy to Me."!!! I LOVE it!
To parallel with this boy's sickness, we too sometimes suffer a similar spiritual illness. If not us, then our "son" or our daughter or our friend or our spouse or our mother or our father or our sister or our brother or someone we know or someone we've met. We become a "lunatic" (or they do) and "sore vexed"... and we lose control! We have a fit of rage or of bitterness or of madness or meanness or jealousy or envy or (you fill in the blank) and it throws us into the fire. Or it tries to drown us in the pit of deepest waters of despair and anguish. And no one around us can heal us. Yet, Jesus watches and Jesus sees, and still I'm sure He still beacons with those same very words said in Matthew 17, "Bring the boy to Me." Or, if it's us: "Come hither to Me!" And with His touch and His word, He does the same as He did then, and we are "healed from that moment."
You know "that moment"....? One of those kinds of moments? Might you need to be healed from "that moment" that makes you go crazy and act as a lunatic in all kinds of madness when you remember it? Man can't fix that! But Jesus can heal you from "that moment"! We simply have to go to Him to let Him. Or, when it's not us, but it's someone else, we have to take them... not to somebody else, but take them only to Jesus Himself!
May we remember this! And next time we see someone acting out and making an idiot of themselves by the way that they're acting... we're NOT to take them (by talking about them) to another! No! Instead, we can simply mutter a quick prayer beneath our breath and tell Jesus, "She needs You! She's having a seizure!" And Lord have mercy, next time when it's us that's seizing, may somebody be near enough to us and to Him to return us the favor! For we have great need to be rescued from all sorts of seizing in all kind of "moments" that throw us into fires and deep waters!
Back to the girl who said, "I have seizures." I think I'd wrap my arm with compassion around the girl if she had told me and I'd tell her, "Yeah, I know what you're talking about. Sometimes I have seizures too." And then I hope I'd have the guts to hold her hand and say, "Come on, let's go tell Jesus"......
.
I was talking to a friend. She was telling me of her experience at a Homeless Shelter where she thought that she'd be ladling soup for their lunches. Instead, upon arrival she was whisked away on a whole different assignment before she realized what in the world they were doing. Bottom line is, they quickly pushed her into a room with the "homeless" and told her to go talk to them. In answer to her horrified wide-eyed woe that took control of her face, the guy told her, "Don't worry, they'll talk. They'll tell you everything."
Regardless of what he said. She worried! She went. But she was scared!
She saw a young woman working on a word puzzle. As my friend sat next to her she said, "Oh, I love puzzles! Could you use some company? Do you mind if I sit next to you and help?"
The woman nodded she could.
And then, the man was right... the woman just started talking. It was like he said, she told her everything. And then, right in the middle, like it was nothing, she said, "I have seizures."
"Oh!" my friend replied. And then to me she said, "What do you say to that?"
I was laughing hysterically! I felt that girl's feeling! I told my friend, "Oh my goodness, I have seizures too!" Maybe not the medical kind.... but like the story told of the boy in Matthew 17, I feel like sometimes when something's said or something hits, I'm like him. It throws me into the fire! Or sometimes into the water and tries to drown me. I need attention! I need help! I start seizing and lose control of myself!
I love that story! The one I just mentioned found in Matthew 17. Starting at verse 14, it's told like this:
"When they came to the crowd, a man approached Jesus and knelt before Him. "Lord, have mercy on my son," he said. "He has seizures and is suffering greatly. He often falls into the fire or into the water. I brought him to Your disciples, but they could not heal him." "O unbelieving and perverse generation," Jesus replied, "how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy here to Me." Jesus rebuked the demon, and it came out of the boy, and he was healed from that moment."
"Lord, have mercy on my son. He has seizures and is suffering greatly. He often falls into the fire or into the water."
NLT, "Lord, have mercy on my son. He has seizures and suffers terribly..."
NASB, "Lord, have mercy on my son, for he is a lunatic and is very ill...."
KJV (and my most favorite!), "Lord, have mercy on my son: for he is a lunatic, and sore vexed: for ofttimes he falleth into the fire, and oft into the water. And I brought him to Your disciples, and they could not cure him."
Jesus' reply was: "Bring the boy to Me."!!! I LOVE it!
To parallel with this boy's sickness, we too sometimes suffer a similar spiritual illness. If not us, then our "son" or our daughter or our friend or our spouse or our mother or our father or our sister or our brother or someone we know or someone we've met. We become a "lunatic" (or they do) and "sore vexed"... and we lose control! We have a fit of rage or of bitterness or of madness or meanness or jealousy or envy or (you fill in the blank) and it throws us into the fire. Or it tries to drown us in the pit of deepest waters of despair and anguish. And no one around us can heal us. Yet, Jesus watches and Jesus sees, and still I'm sure He still beacons with those same very words said in Matthew 17, "Bring the boy to Me." Or, if it's us: "Come hither to Me!" And with His touch and His word, He does the same as He did then, and we are "healed from that moment."
You know "that moment"....? One of those kinds of moments? Might you need to be healed from "that moment" that makes you go crazy and act as a lunatic in all kinds of madness when you remember it? Man can't fix that! But Jesus can heal you from "that moment"! We simply have to go to Him to let Him. Or, when it's not us, but it's someone else, we have to take them... not to somebody else, but take them only to Jesus Himself!
May we remember this! And next time we see someone acting out and making an idiot of themselves by the way that they're acting... we're NOT to take them (by talking about them) to another! No! Instead, we can simply mutter a quick prayer beneath our breath and tell Jesus, "She needs You! She's having a seizure!" And Lord have mercy, next time when it's us that's seizing, may somebody be near enough to us and to Him to return us the favor! For we have great need to be rescued from all sorts of seizing in all kind of "moments" that throw us into fires and deep waters!
Back to the girl who said, "I have seizures." I think I'd wrap my arm with compassion around the girl if she had told me and I'd tell her, "Yeah, I know what you're talking about. Sometimes I have seizures too." And then I hope I'd have the guts to hold her hand and say, "Come on, let's go tell Jesus"......
.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Don't kill anybody!
.
My kids are out there somewhere...... on Spring Break with friends.... while their mom is left here, home without them. I'm busy. Very much so. But I'm missing them greatly. I texted one just now (the youngest) that I've not heard from since last night. Just to touch base. Just to know that she's still breathing. Just to make sure that she's still able to text. Just to make sure that she's still sounding her normal.
After she replied, I wanted to text back:
The last one may not be the norm for most parent's lists. But after my today.... I resisted from it, but I seriously wanted to say it.
I was at a parole hearing for one of our inmates this morning. M has been in our class for almost four years. She completed the two-year program, and then stayed on for extra classes that we added on for those that wanted to continue. She's already served 20 years of a 25 year sentence. She went in at the age of 21. Tomorrow's her birthday, she'll be 41. She's in for murder. Her mama and her daddy miss her!
I've got a 21 year old daughter. I cannot imagine her going into prison at this age... and 20 years slowly passing by with her still in there. I cannot imagine what all wouldn't have happened in my life had I been incarcerated at 21. I wouldn't have married. I wouldn't have had children. They'd be no Prissy. No Tabor. No Sabrina. I wouldn't have been there when my grandmother died, or my granddaddy, or my mamaw, or my papaw, or my uncles, or my aunts, or my daddy! My siblings lives would have continued on without me.... while I couldn't help but think of all that I was missing because of something in a crazed moment that I had done. Every single second of everyday, I'm sure, I'd regret that I did it. I'd hate that I couldn't take back what I couldn't! I'd mourn the life I'd taken. I'd mourn the lives of those I'd hurt. I'd mourn the wrong committed. I'd mourn the wasted time. I'd mourn... I'd mourn.... I'd mourn........ a lot!
Today I watched sorrow on two families' faces! I watched hurt emerge and lash out. I watched meanness snarl because of a still piercing pain. I watched heads shake. I watched heads bow. I watched eyes squint closed. I watched jaws clinch teeth. As I wrote in an earlier post: Nobody wins in a murder. The blood still cries out seeking its justice... and in some, still seeking its revenge. All the while, the murderer begs for forgiveness, for compassion, for a second chance, for mercy. Because of the pleas made by the victim's family, the parole board denied M parole. She'll EOS in five years, in 2017.
I wonder what all will happen in my life in the next 5 years? I wonder what'll all happen in M's as she still sadly sits behind bars while the clock slowly ticks one tick-and-tock at a time as she begins to count down the 2,628,000 minutes she now has left til time to go home?
Her dad told me, "We had no idea at 11:30 that night, that at 12:01 our lives would be radically unhinged and changed forever." They hadn't a clue that murder was in the forecast. They hadn't been forewarned that they would one day face such horror.
I love M's mom and dad. They remind me so much of mine. I cannot fathom the pain that penetrates to the very depths inside them tonight. I cannot fathom the torrid of tears that they'll weep on their pillows. Because of something horrible, their little girl (even at 21) was locked up.... and 20 years later they're still hurting and sitting by their window, looking, waiting, praying, anticipating, wanting, wishing, wailing, longing for her to come home.
.
My kids are out there somewhere...... on Spring Break with friends.... while their mom is left here, home without them. I'm busy. Very much so. But I'm missing them greatly. I texted one just now (the youngest) that I've not heard from since last night. Just to touch base. Just to know that she's still breathing. Just to make sure that she's still able to text. Just to make sure that she's still sounding her normal.
After she replied, I wanted to text back:
- No drinking
- No snorting anything
- No popping pills
- No smoking weed
- Don't show too much skin
- Remember the lady you were raised to be
- Don't hang around people you shouldn't
- Be so very careful
- And don't kill anybody!
The last one may not be the norm for most parent's lists. But after my today.... I resisted from it, but I seriously wanted to say it.
I was at a parole hearing for one of our inmates this morning. M has been in our class for almost four years. She completed the two-year program, and then stayed on for extra classes that we added on for those that wanted to continue. She's already served 20 years of a 25 year sentence. She went in at the age of 21. Tomorrow's her birthday, she'll be 41. She's in for murder. Her mama and her daddy miss her!
I've got a 21 year old daughter. I cannot imagine her going into prison at this age... and 20 years slowly passing by with her still in there. I cannot imagine what all wouldn't have happened in my life had I been incarcerated at 21. I wouldn't have married. I wouldn't have had children. They'd be no Prissy. No Tabor. No Sabrina. I wouldn't have been there when my grandmother died, or my granddaddy, or my mamaw, or my papaw, or my uncles, or my aunts, or my daddy! My siblings lives would have continued on without me.... while I couldn't help but think of all that I was missing because of something in a crazed moment that I had done. Every single second of everyday, I'm sure, I'd regret that I did it. I'd hate that I couldn't take back what I couldn't! I'd mourn the life I'd taken. I'd mourn the lives of those I'd hurt. I'd mourn the wrong committed. I'd mourn the wasted time. I'd mourn... I'd mourn.... I'd mourn........ a lot!
Today I watched sorrow on two families' faces! I watched hurt emerge and lash out. I watched meanness snarl because of a still piercing pain. I watched heads shake. I watched heads bow. I watched eyes squint closed. I watched jaws clinch teeth. As I wrote in an earlier post: Nobody wins in a murder. The blood still cries out seeking its justice... and in some, still seeking its revenge. All the while, the murderer begs for forgiveness, for compassion, for a second chance, for mercy. Because of the pleas made by the victim's family, the parole board denied M parole. She'll EOS in five years, in 2017.
I wonder what all will happen in my life in the next 5 years? I wonder what'll all happen in M's as she still sadly sits behind bars while the clock slowly ticks one tick-and-tock at a time as she begins to count down the 2,628,000 minutes she now has left til time to go home?
Her dad told me, "We had no idea at 11:30 that night, that at 12:01 our lives would be radically unhinged and changed forever." They hadn't a clue that murder was in the forecast. They hadn't been forewarned that they would one day face such horror.
I love M's mom and dad. They remind me so much of mine. I cannot fathom the pain that penetrates to the very depths inside them tonight. I cannot fathom the torrid of tears that they'll weep on their pillows. Because of something horrible, their little girl (even at 21) was locked up.... and 20 years later they're still hurting and sitting by their window, looking, waiting, praying, anticipating, wanting, wishing, wailing, longing for her to come home.
.
Saturday, March 17, 2012
The promised land mourned for her people!
.
How pricelessly worded!
I've been reading through the NET Bible that I have recently purchased. Every now and then, when I don't have my Bible before me, I will pull it up on the Internet and read from there. When you do this, between the Old and New Testaments, you will find the Deutero-Canonicals / Apocrypha books (these are books included in the Septuagint and Vulgate, but excluded from the Jewish and Protestant canons of the Old Testament). And in this thus far incomplete list of books, you'll find the Book of Baruch.
The book of Baruch are words that Baruch wrote in Babylon, written at the time that the Chaldeans overthrew Jerusalem and set it on fire. It was read to God's chosen people that had been carried off by their enemies to Babylon because they had sinned against the Lord by rebelling to do what He had commanded them to. Chapter 4 writes what is called "A Poem of Comfort"... and it is written as if the land of Jerusalem herself were writing it to her people that had left her. And reading it while thinking of all those that I work with in prison, its words impacted with a whole greater meaning. I cannot tell you how precious these words were in the very vivid picture they painted. I thought I'd share it here.. thinking that you'd read them and hear them and feel them as precious too! Read them as they were meant for you to, hear the words from the Promised Land to her Chosen People, God's prized possessions, that had been taken from her. Hear her grief and the wisdom she gives her children and her encouragement to them. Her reminder of what they'd done, why they were taken... and more importantly, her reminder that they were God's(!) and, that being His, God would bring them back!
Wow! Like I said! Priceless!!! I love the faithfulness of our Father! Though He disciplines, He will never unlove His children! Though He allows the enemies that pursue to take them captive because of their rebellion... that is NOT the end of His fight! He, too, pursues! And He fights (when we've gone astray) to bring us back!
.
How pricelessly worded!
I've been reading through the NET Bible that I have recently purchased. Every now and then, when I don't have my Bible before me, I will pull it up on the Internet and read from there. When you do this, between the Old and New Testaments, you will find the Deutero-Canonicals / Apocrypha books (these are books included in the Septuagint and Vulgate, but excluded from the Jewish and Protestant canons of the Old Testament). And in this thus far incomplete list of books, you'll find the Book of Baruch.
The book of Baruch are words that Baruch wrote in Babylon, written at the time that the Chaldeans overthrew Jerusalem and set it on fire. It was read to God's chosen people that had been carried off by their enemies to Babylon because they had sinned against the Lord by rebelling to do what He had commanded them to. Chapter 4 writes what is called "A Poem of Comfort"... and it is written as if the land of Jerusalem herself were writing it to her people that had left her. And reading it while thinking of all those that I work with in prison, its words impacted with a whole greater meaning. I cannot tell you how precious these words were in the very vivid picture they painted. I thought I'd share it here.. thinking that you'd read them and hear them and feel them as precious too! Read them as they were meant for you to, hear the words from the Promised Land to her Chosen People, God's prized possessions, that had been taken from her. Hear her grief and the wisdom she gives her children and her encouragement to them. Her reminder of what they'd done, why they were taken... and more importantly, her reminder that they were God's(!) and, that being His, God would bring them back!
"4:5 Be courageous, my people!
You are the ones who preserve the name of Israel!
4:6 It was not for your destruction that you were sold to the nations.
You were delivered over to your adversaries because you had stirred God to anger.
4:7 For you provoked your Creator by offering sacrifices to demons rather than to God.
4:8 You forgot the Eternal God who nourished you;
you grieved Jerusalem which reared you.
4:9 For when she saw the wrath of God that was about to befall you, she said,
"Listen, neighbors of Zion,
God has brought great mourning upon me.
4:10 For I witnessed the captivity of my sons and daughters,
which the Eternal One has brought upon them.
4:11 For I nourished them with gladness,
and I sent them out with tears and mourning.
4:12 Let no one malignantly rejoice over me,
the widow who is bereft of so many.
I was left desolate because of the sins of my children,
for they have turned away from God's law.
4:13 They have not acknowledged His ordinances,
nor have they gone in the ways of God's commandments,
nor have they walked in the correct paths determined by His righteousness.
4:14 Let the neighbors of Zion come and remember the captivity
of my sons and daughters,
which the Eternal One has brought upon them.
4:15 For He has brought against them a nation from afar,
a shameless nation speaking a foreign language,
who shows no respect for old age nor mercy for childhood.
4:16 They have led away those beloved by this widow;
they have left me bereft of my daughters.
4:17 But for my part, how can I help you?
4:18 For it is the One who has brought these misfortunes
who must rescue you out of the hand of your enemies.
4:19 Go on, my children, go your way!
For I am left desolate.
4:20 I have taken off the robe of peace,
and I have put on sackcloth for my petition.
I will cry out to the Eternal One for the rest of my days.
4:21 Be courageous, my children.
Cry out to God,
and He will rescue you from domination at the hand of your enemies.
4:22 For I have placed my hope in the Eternal One for your salvation.
Joy has come to me from the Holy One
for the mercy that will quickly come to you from your Eternal Savior.
4:23 For I sent you out with mourning and weeping,
and God will return you to me with delight and gladness forever.
4:24 For just as at the present time the neighbors of Zion have seen your captivity,
so they will soon see your deliverance from God,
which will come to you with great glory
and with the splendor of the Eternal One.
4:25 My children, patiently endure the wrath that has come upon you from God.
Your enemy has persecuted you,
but you will soon see their destruction,
and you will place your foot on their necks.
4:26 My spoiled children have traveled rough roads.
They have been carried away like sheep snatched by enemies.
4:27 Be courageous, children, and call out to God.
For the One who brought this upon you will remember you.
4:28 For just as your minds were given to wandering away from God,
turn now with tenfold sincerity to seek Him.
4:29 For the One who has brought these misfortunes upon you
will bring you everlasting gladness along with your deliverance.
4:30 Be courageous, O Jerusalem.
The One who named you will comfort you.
4:31 Those who have treated you badly and rejoiced at your downfall are fearful.
4:32 The cities that enslaved your children are fearful;
she who took your sons is fearful.
4:33 For just as she rejoiced over your downfall and was glad over your disaster,
so she will be grieved over her own desolation.
4:34 I will remove from her the rejoicing of the crowds,
and her insolence will be reduced to mourning.
4:35 For fire will come upon her from the Eternal One,
lasting for a long time;
she will be inhabited by demons for a long time.
4:36 Look to the east, O Jerusalem!
See the gladness coming to you from God.
4:37 Look! Your sons whom you sent away are coming back,
being gathered from east to west by the Word of the Holy One,
rejoicing in the glory of God."
.
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