"I'm scared to get out."

I don't know the answer. But I know there's a problem. And I've heard it before, more than once, just on Wednesday it was a new face that was saying it. 

I was meeting with the inmates before leaving for Baton Rouge for Thanksgiving. They were wishing me a happy and safe holiday and reminding me (for them) to eats lots of turkey. I left the prison in a bitter-sweet mood. I seriously love those ladies! And hated leaving them! I knew that as much as I looked forward to Thanksgiving and to celebrating with my family, they wanted to go home too and celebrate with theirs. I tried to imagine it, but couldn't, the thought of missing the holidays with family year after year after year for a whole lot of years. I can't imagine every year (some over a decade, some more than one) longing to go home... but knowing I couldn't. I know they committed the crime that put them there, but still that's a hard reality to swallow, a harsh punishment to endure.... especially when they're not the same person they were when they did the thing that they did. I know they should have weighed the cost earlier and considered the consequences.... but sadly, most don't.

While sitting there with them right before leaving, one lady told me, I want to go home. I bet she does. I know I would too. And then she said, "I want to go home, but I'm scared to get out. I've been here so long, as much as I want to, I'm scared to, all I know now is here."

Wow. I've heard about them being imprisoned so long that they become institutionalized. As much as they want their freedom, prison has become their way of life. They wouldn't know what to do, where to go, how to start. And starting from the beginning is not easy for anybody. But starting over again with nothing at all and so much already against them... many no home, no friends, no job, no income, no family to go back to...... What do you do when you leave with only the clothes on your back and $10 given to you upon your release from the system?

God loves the broken-hearted, the poor, the sinner, those with a contrite heart, the captive............ Do you?

Really?

Do you love them enough to help them? Because in reality, they really, really, really need for somebody to.

An exciting opportunity awaits...

I had just talked to my daughter about it yesterday. I told her that there was a place in our city where I am I told that you can find hundreds of homeless in one area. I told her I wanted to one day take clothes and blankets. Or do something of the sort.

That was yesterday afternoon.

I left after that for the prison. When I got back last night I got on Facebook... and one of the very first posts on my feed gave opportunity to do just what I'd been wanting!

I have left a message on the girl's page. But from what I gathered that was already posted there they will be making another visit on December 5th. And they had pictures posted from their visit on the 14th of November. From the looks of things, you pack your vehicle with all that you can and open it up to whatever they need. Here are some of their pictures from their last adventure:

“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’"

Matt 25:34-36

I want MORE!!!!!

Thanksgiving.... a time set aside for giving-thanks! Thus, thanks-giving!

And maybe also something more....

I had a man recently get released from prison. He needed winter clothes for job hunting. Sadly, it was easier said than done... and took longer to find clothes for him than I felt it should. But finally, (in the most humorous of ways) I think we've finally accomplished the task, and I am to pick the clothes up for him tomorrow and deliver right after. I told the girl that did this, "Thanks-for-giving in this Thanks-Giving Season."

On top of that... I recently read an amazing story about a guy that got robbed (A Victim Treats His Mugger Right) on an empty platform after an hour-long subway commute to the Bronx one night. A teenager pulled a knife out on him wanting his money. The 31-year-old social worker give him his wallet. And then as the teen began to walk away, the guy asked him, "Hey, wait a minute. You forgot something. If you're going to be robbing people for the rest of the night, you might as well take my coat to keep you warm." The kid looked at him like 'what in the world!' And the man replied, "if you're willing to risk your freedom for a few dollars, then I guess you must really need the money. I mean, all I wanted to do was get dinner and if you really want to join me... hey, you're more than welcome." And believe it or not, the kid went to dinner with him!

After my oldest daughter listened to the man's story above, her response to me was, "Oh, wow! Now I want to get robbed." Hilarious! I understood her statement. I felt the same feeling she was feeling. Oh, that no matter the circumstances or situations around us (or done to us) that we would make it a Jesus-encounter and testimony of Him when done.

I loved that the guy didn't just offer his coat too, but he asked the boy if he wanted to go eat with him also. It totally puts clothes on the verses found in Matthew 5, "You have heard it said: An eye for an eye, or a tooth for a tooth.' But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go a mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you."

I want to do something more this Christmas and Thanksgiving... other than just blessing ourselves with more when we've got so much already!

I want to help someone! I want to notice the one I pass in need! I want to have compassion for him! I want to DO something! I don't want to just talk it! I want to walk it. I want to be the hands and the feet of Jesus! I have been blessed so greatly, I want to be a blessing!

And while I'm at it... why don't you set aside some time on your calendar to "help" someone that needs it this season.

Your will, Lord! Not mine.

Sometimes things are too big to be said. I find that to be true quite often. Some feelings are too huge to contain and press to conform to a word that won't hold it. Today, precious Lord, hear my heart. Read my thoughts. Know my wants, my desires, my dreams, my wonders. Make me into all You created and made and planned and purposed and willed me to be. Not one smidget less, Lord. I need You every step of my way. On this road, on this journey, light my path. Guide and direct and lead me each moment. Give me vision when I lose my sight. Give me want-to when my want-to wavers for less. Give me conviction when evil or the enemy tempts. Give me courage when I shy away with fear. Give me boldness when timidity threats. Give me direction when confusion baffles. Give me focus when distraction hopes to steal it. Give me determination when the journey gets long. Give me discernment when I need to know. Give me steadfastness when it's hard to stay steady. Give me strength when I grow weak. Give me eyes to see those in need. Give me ears to hear the heart that bleeds. Give me hands to reach all those You put in my path. Give me a compassion that can't pass by but has to help. Give me a craving, a hunger and thirst, for You above anything! Continually and constantly give me more of Your Spirit... more of Your Word... more of Your character.... grow me ever more like You... may I do as You would have me to do! May I be ever about My Father's business! Your will and not mine! May You remind me when I fail You! I thank You for never failing me.

Thank You for Your hand that always upholds and helps me. Thank for always going with and promising never to forsake me.

"For God Himself said, I will not in any way, fail you nor give you up, nor leave you without support. I will not, I will not, I will not in any degree leave you helpless nor forsake nor let you down [relax My hold on you! Assuredly not!]." (Heb 13:5b AMP)

Listen! His blood cries!

"What have you done? Listen! Your brother's blood cries out to Me from the ground."

These words were said by God to Cain when he killed Abel.

"What have you done?" God's voice echoed to Cain. Can you imagine Him asking you?!

"What have you done?" and then (in King James' wording) "the voice of thy brother's blood crieth unto Me from the ground."

"Your brother's blood cries...."

"The voice of thy brother's blood crieth unto Me...."

The victim's blood cries for justice!

Death seeks its revenge.

When defined in more detail it goes like this: The voice... the sound... the noise... the crying... the thunder... the call........ of the blood...... calls... cries... cries out for help.... cries in grief... summons...... God Himself!

I am not much of a televison watcher. But every now and then when I do, I love watching things like: Snapped, or Cold Bold, or Dateline on ID, or I (Almost) Got Away With It, or Forensic Files, or something similar. I am amazed at the crimes that are daily committed. I am even more amazed when they are premeditated and planned and schemed and much thought out before the plan is put into action. Also, the clean-up and to what extent a person goes to in hopes to hide any evidence.

Then still yet, I am even more amazed still at the evidence that lies left behind just waiting for someone to find it..... A drop of blood. Some DNA. A hair. A footprint or fingerprint. A piece of paint. But especially the blood that is almost impossible to get totally rid of.

It reminds me every time of this verse, "What have you done? Listen! Your brother's blood cries out to Me from the ground!" 

It seeks its justice! It wants its revenge! Even when someone's life is taken, death still has its voice. It still cries out to its Savior!

I don't know this. This is totally my speculation. I've never heard it taught before. But everytime I study in Exodus about the Pharaoh that had all of the baby boys two years old and younger thrown to their deaths in the River Nile... And then, later, when the first plague of the 10 plagues that God does is that He turns the water in that Nile to blood...... I always wonder if that is symbolic of the blood that cries from all the babies that were thrown there?

Even as I type this Nancy Grace is on... the "Breaking News" is that a jaw bone has been found in Aruba and the speculation is that it may be Natalee Holloway's. It's been how many years since she's gone missing? Wow, it's been 5! The blood still cries from the ground.....

How sad! For all those that have died so senselessly and robbed by the hand of another, I'm so sorry!


"What have you done?".............. And has it made your brother's blood cry?
.

Inquiring minds want to know...

I love how we're told in scripture of this person or that "inquiring of the Lord" and asking Him what they should do. I love even more how God was so quick and faithful to answer. And how He made no bones about it, but simply spoke truth.

He promises in James that if any of us lacks wisdom in a matter, we should ask Him who gives generously to all without finding fault when asked. He states that if we ask Him He'll give it (Jam 1:5).

"But, when he asks," He goes on to say, "he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man..." God wants you to believe Him once He's answered!

It's sometimes sad how quickly we will KNOW that God has just given us an answer. We felt it! It was a knowing-knowing! And then, I few minutes later, we begin to doubt that He is the One that has said it. That, my dear friend, is our enemy pulling his age-old subtle craftiness out that he's been doing since Genesis 3 in the very beginning... whispering his same song to us that he sang in the ear of Eve in the Garden of Eden, "Did God really say...?"!

No wonder, God hates when we doubt Him! Because when we don't believe what He's said, we then have chosen instead to believe the voice of satan!

Back to "inquiring minds that want to know"...... I have an inquiry! I need some wisdom!

Not wanting to step on any toes or hurt anyone's feelings, I thought about leaving everything well enough alone. And then I thought, if I don't say something then I am not standing up for my girls. I am not warring for the ones that God has given me. I was at a query of not knowing what to do. I've decided to go to my God, our Father, my Jesus, our Savior to ask His advice. To ask what I should do. And when I do... rest in the knowing that I'll know, because I trust and know He will tell me!

What comfort! What a great God that we serve!

This is no profound blogpost. Nothing new that we don't know. Yet, how often do we try to figure out things for ourselves, or discuss them with others for their opinions without initially just taking it and laying it out before the Lord inquring from Him His answer? It's just a reminder, that's all, to remember Who it is that we're to be asking. :)



A "Precautionary Lock-down"?

Twelve  minutes after the school bell rang I got a call on my home phone, cell phone, and an email stating that, "We have been advised by the Montgomery Police Department to go on a precautionary lock-down. They are in pursuit of a subject in the area. This means that we will not let anyone into the school; buildings until the lock-down is over. We will advise when this ends. classes will operate normally during this time.School Administration"

Well... needless to say, that's an interesting notice that perks up the ears, rises the eyebrows, beats the heart a little faster, and triggers the mind to its wander.

My Senior son has "delayed entry" so he doesn't have to be to school until second period each day. I advised him of the lockdown and his inability to go in until the lock-down had been cancelled. Another "needless" thing said, he wasn't exactly saddened by it.

At 8:51 the phones rang again... along with the "You've Got Mail"... which told us that the school was no longer in its lock-down. The coast was cleared. The doors back opened. Ta could go to school now.

But....

My mind kept wandering....

"A Precautionary Lockdown"....? "

"A subject in the area"......?

How often do we (in our own hearts and minds and lives) go into a precautionary lock-down.... locking all others out for fear of suspects of subjects in the area?

Or!

How many times do we fail to do the precautionary lock-down when we need to... out of suspicion of the subjects before us? We see the signs... our ears perks to the suspicion, our hearts beat a little faster... but we're curious about (or like) this new feeling and so we fail to heed to the precaution because the desire inside us precedes on out of it's want-to?

Sometimes we lock-down when we don't need to, but sometimes we don't when we do!

"The prudent see danger and take refuge,

but the simple keep going and suffer for it."

Prov 27:12.

"A prudent person foresees danger and takes precautions.

The simpleton goes blindly on and suffers the consequences."

(NLT)

What's your cheese?

I was sitting at my office on Thursday... thinking of Kimberly, the girl that we had just recently picked up from prison. And it was the weirdest thing. It was like all of the sudden I could see all these traps. Dozens of traps set everywhere! It's like I got a visual of the enemy saying, "She's out! Set the traps!"... in hopes that one of them would succeed and catch her in it!

And then a wondering voice said inside me, "What's your cheese?" What's the temptation that you (or I) will go after? I was so aggravated! So disgusted! So mad at the enemy!

I thought of how he'd trapped her before (drugs) and how many years she'd been trapped there (30!). And as hard as she would be trying, I knew he'd set traps everywhere... in hopes to trap her again! Drugs would be the 'cheese' he'd use.... but if that 'cheese' didn't succeed, he'd have some other options. All hoping to deceive, to trick, to trap... to rob, to kill, to steal, to destroy... not only her, but her friends, her kids, and her family!

I am so frustrated at how many the enemy has trapped with the same 'cheese'... like drinking or drugs or some substance! Or sex or greed or bitterness! It's amazing how many will so quickly still follow and fall for it after seeing what it's done to a whole world of others. I hate the deception in sin and the lies that it promises in hopes to ensnare us!

Christ died to set the captives free. And once we're freed from one prison, our enemy hates it and yells, "She's out! Set the traps!"... and sets traps all around us. What "cheese" is around you? What "cheese" do you see? What "cheese" will he set with hopes to seize?

"Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. RESIST HIM, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings" - 1 Pet 5:8-9.

"When tempted, no one should say, "God is tempting me." For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He tempt anyone; but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death." - Jam 1:13-15.

"Turn my eyes away from worthless things; preserve my life according to Your word... Turn my heart toward your statutes and not toward selfish gain.... Direct me in the path of Your commands, for there I find comfort.... Give me understanding, so that I may keep Your law and obey it with all my heart.... Teach me, LORD, the way of Your decrees, that I may follow it to the end" - Ps 119:37,36,35,34,33.

Kimberly....

What does freedom feel like?

I'll tell you this... I watched it on Tuesday!

I didn't know her from Adam. Had never met her. Had never heard of her. Didn't know what she'd done. Didn't know how much time she'd been in for. Didn't know her temperment, her size, or her color. I just happened to be sitting in a meeting when I heard them mention her. I found out two things: she needed a ride and she was HIV positive. 

The prison had a bus ticket to send her from Wetumpka to Huntsville (a 3 1/2 hour trip... but at least 5 or more on a bus). She was to meet with her court-appointed probation officer (possibly having to spend the night if everything couldn't get done) and then she'd need a ride from Huntsville back to Birmingham (2 hours away). The problem is, she didn't have a ride for the second leg of the trip, the prison doesn't pay for that. 

My initial reaction was that I know several very kind-hearted Christian friends in Huntsville. Surely I could get her a ride. (Nice of me, wasn't it, to so easily volunteer someone else?) And then,... I thought.... 

"Well, I will take her!"

We were having this conversation on Friday. The girl that was talking about Kimberly had only met her the day before on Thursday. To jump through all the hoops, get all of the paperwork done, and get the "okay" from the prison was a lot to get done in the very short amount of time that we had. Though we did what we could on Friday and called so many people (that we weren't able to get in touch with), we accomplished nothing. Everything would have to miraculous worked out on Monday if this were going to happen. Plus, we needed to get in touch with someone from the prison... so that they could get in touch with Kimberly and ask if she wanted to ride with some strange woman that she'd never met before (that would be me!)... or, had she rather leave the plans as they were and ride the bus to Huntsville?

Monday ran us into one problem right after another. By as late as 2:30 it didn't look like we could get it to happen. Before the day was done though.... it all fell into place. It was a go! All okays were okayed! Kimberly said yes to me. And I had my first God-appointed newly released inmate transportation assignment!

I was so excited!

So excited!

I couldn't sleep.

As I was lying in bed Monday night I kept thinking about how excited this girl had to be! How anxious! How thrilled! How scared! How emotional! Surely she lie in her own bunk at that very same moment with her own heart pounding!

I spent most of the night praying for her. Prissy (my oldest daughter) had decided to go with us. As I was talking to her about my excitement she told me, "Mom, I'm afraid that you're going to freak her out." Okay... calm down! I told her, "I promise I'll act calmer tomorrow!"

We packed (overnight bags, just in case) and left the house by 7 a.m. to get to the prison by 8. We prayed for her on the way. A sweet lady from Aid-to-Inmate Mothers sent us with a suitcase full of clothes and things for Kimberly. I was so impressed! And it wasn't until we picked Kimberly up that we realized how greatly they were needed and appreciated! 

We walked quite a ways past razored wired fences before walking up the stairs to the entrance. We were buzzed through two barred gateways and went up to the officer sitting behind his enclosed control room. "We are here to pick up Kimberly ___."

He asked if we had brought clothes for her to change into?

No. Actually we didn't! We had some in my truck, but I thought that she would be given some to wear to leave the prison. I was so thankful that Carol had sent the suitcase!

Prissy and I walked back to our vehicle to dig through the case. It was sad. Somber. We wondered (though the choice had already been made by someone before us) what she might like? There was a sweatsuit to choose from, or jeans and a button-down shirt. Nice enough. We chose the latter. And literally prayed about that too! We prayed for God to please make it fit. We didn't want her to be ashamed or embarrassed.

Going back in, giving the officer the clothes, we were told to sit and we waited. We waited a while... grinning from anticipation. Praying that we wouldn't scare her, intimidate her, make her feel uncomfortable. We prayed for automatic liking and comfortableness! We prayed for the conversation. For what we'd do. For how we'd act. For where we'd go. For what we'd eat. We wanted ALL of it to be Divinely Anointed! And it was!!! From beginning to end!!! There is no way to put words together to tell of the wonder!!!

We saw her shyly walk through her own gated-area escorted by a woman officer that had taken the clothes and locked herself in the restroom with her while she changed. She never even raised her eyes to look at us. Coming out of the restroom (now dressed in colors and not whites!) we gladly noted that her clothes perfectly fit! She signed the papers that she had to sign. Was given $10 and a paper bag that held her belongings and turned to meet us.

:)

We made the introductions as she walked out to her freedom! There was an instant liking and bonding between us. Though she said that she had worried about who this person would be that would be picking her up, she couldn't thank us enough for coming. She had been terrified of riding the bus and dreading the extra hours it would take her.

The first thing she wanted to do was stop at the closest gas station. Another inmate when asked what she might would like to do first had guessed this. The inmate had told me it probably wouldn't really be for a specific reason... but more because of the freedom to get to do so... and just because she'd not been able to for so long.

Kimberly wanted cigarettes. Too my horror I bought her some. How could I argue? How could I not? I did. I don't regret it.

Next stop, McDonalds... for an egg mcmuffin... she'd not had one in years.

But her biggest craving, her greatest want, the thing that she'd dreamed of most was Taco Bell! She wanted that for lunch, and was saving the moment until we met her sister.. who was meeting us from Tennessee in Huntsville.

There was never a moment of silence between us. You would have thought that we had known each other forever. Prissy mostly sat in the back in awe and just listened, interjecting at just the right moments to share some of her own hopes and story and testimony. Saying exactly what needed to be said! Seriously, we all knew that the whole thing was Divinely Driven!

She was open about where she had come from, what she had done, how long she'd been in. She was in for drugs and for robbing a man. She said that this is the first time she'd been "clean" in 30 years. That drugs held her in bondage that long. It was her second time incarcerated. This time, she said, she wants to do it right. This time she wants to stay changed... stay clean. This time she doesn't want to go back. We prayed together several times. Our prayer is that she won't!

We got into Huntsville at 12:30. Met her sweet sister. And went to Taco Bell to enjoy the lunch Kim had been craving. It was such fun watching her eat it. You don't think often of the small things that we should be thankful for until there are snatched from us and not so readily accessible.

Afterward we went to the probation office and were there for a pretty long while. It ended up that we would need to stay the night, her arrangements in Birmingham still wasn't 'arranged.' We went to a hotel where Kim's son (that she hadn't seen in 3 years) met us. It was a beautiful moment! A Kodak one! The embrace between them a priceless one! A Hallmark moment if only it had been captured! We left them alone not wanting to steal even one second from between them. We knew that the time with him (for now anyway) was limited. We'd meet back with them in the morning.

The next day was just as incredible. If only I could have capsuled the conversations we had. If only I could tell all she told us. If only I could share what God gave us to say. If only I relay the lessons she'd learned. But like most God-moments, they're often too spiritual to stuff into words. This whole adventure was one of those moments!

We left our house on Tuesday morning at 7 a.m. and didn't pull back into our drive until 7 p.m. on Wednesday. A 36 hour trip that brought us back: Awestruck. Changed. Forever moved. Wanting to be different. Wanting to do more. More enlightened. More compassionate. More aware. More tender-hearted.

Crazily (at her request... and as was in her plans) we dropped her off at a Homeless Shelter in Birmingham. Not the home that she plans to live in, but as a temporary place until the arrangements were made. She should only be there a couple or a few days. Prissy and I debated about whether we could leave her there or not? But upon our arrival there we were impressed with the place that she'd be staying. You could feel a tender-spirit upon entering. Prayers and scriptures were plastered all over the walls. Children from somewhere in the back were laughing. It felt safe. Secure. Caring. God-owned.

As Prissy told Kim when we left, I don't think that this is the last time we will see you. I don't either. A bond had been made. Numbers and addresses exchanged. The home she'll be living at is a rehab center that will help her transition from being in prison and back to the outside world again... this time without drugs and the things that are so horrible and life-changing. She won't be able to have outside contact for a while.... but one day she will. And we'll be here when she does! But sweeter than that, she has a great family at home that loves her and is waiting for her... that wants her well and home with them! With God's grace in only a matter of time, she'll be there soon! Helping someone else whose shoes she once walked in!

I wrote on Prissy Facebook wall when we got back: What a wonder we've shared in the last two days!!! We have been so richly blessed!!! Who could have imagined??? And I am blessed even more to have gotten to share it with you! (I'm so glad you came!!!!) Words will never describe my feelings and that whole experience! What a priceless treasure our new friend is! It couldn't have gone any better... any sweeter... been any richer!!! I love that God let us be a part!!!

She commented back: You're so right! No words will ever be able to describe what God did the past two days! I loved seeing Him work through all of us! The whole trip was an experience Ill never forget ever.. I have a feeling that won't be our last time, just saying :)

‎"The whole trip was an experience Ill never forget ever.. I have a feeling that won't be our last time, just saying" Me either!!! And me too!!! I KNOW it won't be the last time!!! I think we were 'made' (knitted by our Father in our mother's womb) for this! :)))) Awesome! And wildly incredible!!

Thank YOU, Lord, for letting us be such a part of Your blessing!!!! We're blessed beyond measure! We love You so much!!!

So much going...

Until the last couple of days, I have been uncharacteristically quiet. I suppose the reasons vary. But the main one is due to the overwhelmation of busy.

I'm a "stay-at-home-mom"... that likes to stay-at-home... that hasn't had much time to stay-at-home-as-I-normally-would lately. And one that doesn't see much staying-at-home in the forecast. Life is busier than ever and it isn't about to be slacking.

A good-busy, mind you. But busy, nonetheless. I love what I'm doing. But definitely sometimes I mourn my lack of "staying."

I'm excited though... for the road that God has me on... and the opportunites that He's placed in my path.

Other than the doors that God has opened for me in ways that no man can make sense of... and the jobs that these doors present... and the training of this thing or that that He's offering generously and giving freely... and the roles that He's putting me in..................... He is sweetly and kindly and graciously doing even more than all those as well.

I am becoming a greater and greater believer in (because of the mounting of evidence) of "Knock, and the door will be open".... "Seek, and you will find".... "Ask, and you will receive"....... Because He is proving it to me! He's opening... showing... and giving! 

I used to often ask God to not let me pass by the "robbed-and-beaten-and-left-for-dead-man" on the side of the road that Jesus tells about in the parable of the Good Samaritan. I don't want to be too busy, too side-tracked, too involved even in good things like Bible Study or worship, or too blind to see the man-in-need that is in the middle of the road that I'm on. Well.... God is making sure that I see them. He is loudly and very visually placing many of them in my path... and having people to tell me about them to make sure that I don't forget to look, to see, and then to care in someway for their need. It's the most exciting thing!

I have more opportunities that I can tell about, but today I'll share just one.

Tomorrow morning I am picking up a newly released inmate and transferring her to another city about four hours away and then taking her to another town that is about a hour and a half. I don't know her from Adam. Have never met nor seen her before, and don't know but one thing about her. And that's that she's HIV positive. I'm not sure why that was the only thing told to me about her, but I am so very much anticipating my time with her. Depending upon the probation officer, it may call for an overnight trip.

I must get to bed! Lord, I can't wait to see what You've got planned! Thank You so much for such opportunities!...........

Updates to follow! I'm sure I'll have lots to share!

I'll trade ya!

Friday I was walking through the Criminal Justice Building to a meeting with one of the Commissioners and a few other people. I was grinning from ear to ear.... Soaring a bit from a new found pleasure. (I can get excited about the simpliest of things.)

I was recently given what I've deemed as "keys to the kingdom".... a card whose swipe gives me entrance into the barred parking lot, all of the locked entrances, and every locked hallway on all the floors of the building. I called the Re-Entry Coordinator on my way in telling him that this was better than candy! And I was still pondering upon that statement as I walked alone down the long corridor to the Commissioner's office.

Candy. I've been craving it lately. So for some silly reason that thought popped into my head. If someone came and offered me a trade... "I'll trade ya! Candy for the card (keys)!"... I was too excited, I wouldn't take it.

That thought (as most thoughts do) prompted another one. I remembered Esau's trade of his birthright to his brother for a something to eat, simply because he was hungry. I was saddened by how quickly we make trades... without first thinking of and considering or weighing the outcome or cost of it.... and usually because we're hungry and our bellies (or our heart's desires) are growling for something.

As kids we will trade this toy for that one.... an apple for an orange... a bag of chips for some cookies.... a favored possession to be included in the "club" that our friends are in.... or I'll tell you a secret if you'll tell me one.... or I won't tell on you if you won't tell on me.....

The list goes on...

And the trades get bigger as we grow older... We make bigger trades with bigger things at stake...

We often think, "I wouldn't trade you for anything".... then before we realize what what we've done, we've traded our spouses, our children, our families and homes for our jobs... or some moment's pleasure... or for another someone.

We'll trade our lives (years of our lives) for a season of drinking or drugs or some substance that one day lands us homeless on the streets or in prison.

We'll trade our joy and happiness and close relationships because some silly thing offended us and we refuse to let the offense go and so loom in and wallow til our dying death in our bitterness.

I thought about Cam Newton (which hasn't been proved true... so I am definitely not saying this is so) which happens to be that morning's rage possibly trading his reputation and career and a huge penalty for years for Auburn for some money illegally passed to him to play there for football. I hope it's not so. And think that it might not be. Yet, even if he didn't, it happens all of the time. Money is passed under the table illegally for a trade of something else all over this world all of the time. Money... and our greed for it... often costs us a LOT more in the long run!

We make trades. We're good at trading. We trade everyday. But do we weigh (and think first) about what we're trading?

I lost my train of thinking the minute I stepped into the office. The conversation there had already been started, so their conversation took me elsewhere.

Until...

After a while they begin discussing different judges and their sentencing. Some counties are harsher than others. Some sentences harder and longer depending upon the judge who is sentencing the one that's offended. They were talking about some who were sentenced heavily upon their first felony conviction. And then they gave a recent example...

Just the other day a 63 year old man (who was said to be "a very old 63 year old".... "he looked more to be in his 90's") went into a store to fill his prescription for Hydrocodone. He came out of the store and sold two of those pills to someone in the parking lot. I don't know the details. I don't know if the man knew the guy he sold it to... nor why? I don't know if the man was a friend who suffered great pain and he was selling him two pills in order to help him? I don't know if it was a stranger? I don't know if it was to make a little money because of his great need of it?... Or if it was an act of compassion? Regardless, the trade was a bad one. However much money he got for it, it cost him more than two pills. He got caught. And the judge sentenced him (first offense!) to 10 years in prison! 

Wow! Talk about bad trades and a clear example of one that represents one!

I am not at all saying that what the man did was right. I am not condoning what he did. I am just saying that often we do not ever consider the real price and how much our trade will truly cost us. I am saddened by how quickly we fall for the trades that our enemy offers... for a moment's stupid reasoning and a our dulled-senses that failed to recognize the trap hidden behind the deception!

Oh Lord, give us eyes to see! Teach me to follow Your decrees, then I will keep them to the end.. Give me understanding and I will keep Your law and obey it with all my heart... Direct me in the path of Your commands, for there I will find delight... Turn my heart toward Your statutes and not toward selfish gain.. TURN MY EYES AWAY FROM worthless things and preserve my life according to Your Word - Ps 119:33-38.

"For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?" - Matt 16:26.

What are you trading???

And in the end will it be worth its trade?

(Click here to read about 'SOLD' - "What one girl said".... )

My heart swoons at His voice...

I LOVE the wonder of God's Word!!! I love Him speaking... showing... revealing... enlightening... giving new insight... more correction... more direction... more clarity! I love what His Word does! How it compels us... moves us... heals us... mends us... equips us... empowers us... fills us.... makes us feel.... burns within us!... and makes us yearn for more!!

There is no-thang that compares with the Holy Breath of God's Word!

IF His Word had not been my delight... I would have perished in my affliction (Ps 119:92)!

‎"When Your Words came, I ate them; they were my joy and my heart's delight, for I bear Your Name, LORD God Almighty" - Jer 15:16.

As King James puts it, "Thy Words were found, and I did eat them; and Thy Word was unto me the joy and rejoicing of mine heart: for I am called by Thy Name, O LORD God of Hosts."

Woe... what a scripture! And how it speaks my heart's feeling! For indeed, I have eaten and continue to eat the Words that my Savior has spoken and still speaks to me... They are my joy (my gladness) and the rejoicing (the gaiety, the pleasure, the happy) of my heart! They are my heart's delight! What a wonder to be called by and bear the Name of the LORD God Almighty.. the LORD God of Hosts!

"Did eat"..... It's a Hebrew word that means exactly that: to eat. It is further defined as: to devour, to feed upon, to be consumed with. The hunger within me compels me, I must eat! I cannot help and cannot wait to devour it... to feed upon it... to be consumed with it! May His Word burn up and consume everything else that is not of Him within me! I must eat... or I will waste away to nothing and be wretched!

I LOVE the wonder... and the unadulterated purest thrill... of God's Word! Thank You, Lord Jesus, that You came (the Word wrapped in flesh) upon this earth... and that You still come... and still speak! These are not mere words to me... Your Words are Life!... and Life in abundance and to the FULL!

Fight! But be sure to fight "for" and not "against"...

A note to a friend:

These were MY "hope" Scriptures that I pondered on yesterday. God IS our Hope!!!! Nothing or nobody else is worth hoping in!!! Especially not ourselves."Guide me in Your truth and teach me,
for You are God my Savior,
and my hope is in You all day long."

Psalm 25:5

"May integrity and uprightness protect me,

because my hope is in You."

Psalm 25:21

"Be strong and take heart,
all you who hope in the LORD."

Psalm 31:24

"We wait in hope for the LORD;

He is our help and our shield."

Psalm 33:20

"But now, Lord, what do I look for?
My hope is in You."

Psalm 39:7

"Find rest, O my soul, in God alone;
my hope comes from Him."

Psalm 62:5

Psalm 130:5"I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,
and in His word I put my hope."

    What do people do ... the ones whose hope is not in Him?  In God?  Don't forget the battle that rages around you in your marriage is Satan's attempt to deture you.  Shall I remind you of Satan's schemes ... and where he often chooses to wield and slash his sword? The thing that is often his biggest aim at destroying? Marriages!  For with it, he takes families!  Peace.  Happiness. Security.  Our Homes was held in love and united now torn in two.

    Shall I share with you a story in Scripture that I feel relates to what is happening in your world, and add my insights along the way?   I'll put God's Words in blue, and my feeble thoughts will be colored in pink.

Nehemiah 4

"1 When Sanballat heard that we were rebuilding the wall, he became angry and was greatly incensed. He ridiculed the Jews, 2 and in the presence of his associates and the army of Samaria, he said, "What are those feeble Jews doing? Will they restore their wall? Will they offer sacrifices? Will they finish in a day? Can they bring the stones back to life from those heaps of rubble—burned as they are?""

     He ridicules us in his fury at our attempts to overcome evil with good. And in the presence of his evil men and his army he makes fun of us as he says, "What is this feeble man doing? Will he restore his walls? Will he offer sacrifices? Will he finish in a day? Can he really think that he can bring the stones back to life from the heaps of rubble in his home?" .... And he tries to weary us and overwhelm us and defeat us in our work! He makes fun of our efforts to break us, and he mocks us to crush us and to devastate all that we had hoped and planned to do.  He magnifies to us the "rubble" that we've not yet been able to clean-up ..... so that we'll give up defeated at the magnitude of all there is to do.

    So here in these Scriptures, Nehemiah hears Sanballat and what he is saying and he cries out to the LORD [who IS his HOPE and our Help!!!!]. And he continues in the rebuilding of the walls that had previously been torn down to its rubble.  Yet, do we dare think that Sanballat [or Satan] would give up so easily?  Listen to his next move ... after he's gathered all of his "associates" and his "army" around him to work against Nehemiah with him:    When God works so many mighty miracles in our lives ... to help us out of the pits that we've lived in for so long, to help us bring order to the chaos that we've made our lives into, to woo us closer to Him to listen for and to hear His voice ... and to change our want to His will over our own. When He helps us in "rebuilding the walls," so to speak, Satan becomes very angry and greatly incensed. The KJV says, "he was wroth and took great indignation," ... and so he "mocked!"  

"7 But when Sanballat, Tobiah, the Arabs, the Ammonites and the men of Ashdod heard that the repairs to Jerusalem's walls had gone ahead and that the gaps were being closed,

they were very angry.

8 They all plotted together to come and fight against Jerusalem [me/you]

and stir up trouble against it.
9 But we prayed to our God

and posted a guard day and night to meet this threat."

    The enemy has gather his forces .... and has become VERY ANGRY at the gaps that were being closed!!!!  Can't you see Satan's fury at the gaps you've closed in your own life?  Can't you see his fury in your remarrying your ex-wife after his victory in your first breakup? Can't you see his rage!!!! ... He is "very angry" ... so "they all plotted together to come and fight against ______ and stir up trouble against it."  Do you see his schemes?

    But Nehemiah?  Again, what did he do?  "But [he] prayed to his God and posted a guard day and night to meet this threat."  Day and night!  Day and night, did you notice?  It's a WAR!  In the daytime and the nightime!   It's a day and night, and night and day, and day and night kind of battle!!!!! Because Satan doesn't stop in a day.  Satan doesn't doesn't stop because it's bedtime! 

10 Meanwhile, the people in Judah said,

"The strength of the laborers is giving out,

and there is so much rubble that we cannot rebuild the wall."

    Do you often feel that your strength giving out????  Totally giving up????   Do you ever feel that there is SO MUCH rubble [debris, ruin, wreckage] that you can't rebuild the wall?  Do you ever think that there's no way?!!!!   Does the rubble ever paralyze you because of it's overwhelming mess - that looks impossible to clean up and heal and repair?  Does it ever seem so overwhelming that it appears that it cannot be done? ... so you want to leave it's mess, and move from it's chaos ..... And while we are in our despair, our enemy continues:

11 Also our enemies said, "Before they know it or see us, we will be right there among them and will kill them and put an end to the work."

    In our overwhelming state ... our enemies continue to connive: "Before they know it ... or see us ... we will be right there among them ... and will kill them ... and put an end to the work." ......... Can you see his ugliness?!!!! and his relentless evil to kill us ... and our marriages, and our families, and the walls we mean to repair and rebuild?!!!~~ before we even recognize it or see it coming?   Before we even recognize who our enemy really is?   He says: before they even know it!! ... before they even see me!!!! ... i'll be right there!!!! ... and i'll kill 'em!!!!! ... and i'll put an end to their work!!!!!  Have you had "a work" going on for years, been working on your marriage for years(!), and now he's so close, and his plan is to put AN END TO IT (!!!), once and for all?

12 Then the Jews who lived near them came and told us ten times over, "Wherever you turn, they will attack us."

    "Wherever you turn ... they will attack us."  Everywhere we look:  at each avenue, at each curve, at each turn, at each stop, at each go .. with every step, in every word, when we get up in the morning, when we leave for work, when we come home, when we lay down, when we sit up, ... while I'm eating, while I'm brushing my teeth, while I'm watching TV, when I'm mowing the lawn .... every move we make, every breath we take ... the enemy seems to be attacking us!!!!!! ... and we get tired!!!! ... and he means for us to!

13 Therefore I stationed some of the people behind the lowest points of the wall at the exposed places,  posting them by families, with their swords, spears and bows. 14 After I looked things over, I stood up and said to the nobles, the officials and the rest of the people, "Don't be afraid of them.  Remember the Lord,  Who is great and awesome, and fight for your brothers, your sons and your daughters, your wives and your homes."

    So Nehemiah did what you did on Sunday as you requested for the prayers from your brothers for their help in the battle that you find yourself in.  He "stationed some of the people behind the lowest points of the wall ... at the exposed places" ..... "with their swords," and their spears and their bows!!!!  And as he himself looked things over,  and he stood up and said ... "Don't be afraid of them!!!!  REMEMBER the LORD, WHO IS Great and Awesome!!! ... and FIGHT FOR : your brothers ... and your sons ... and your daughters ... and your wives ... and your homes!!!!"  For these things are worth fighting for!!!!!!!!!!! ... and it's what the enemy has his sights on to kill, and to steal and to destroy!!!!  We must fight for our brothers, and our sons, and our daughters, and our wives, and our homes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  For if we don't fight, we won't win,  but he will.... and it's his hope to.

15 When our enemies heard that we were aware of their plot and that God had frustrated it, we all returned to the wall, each to his own work.

 I like this verse, for it gives me the "hope" that I need to continue when I think that I can't. Because it comes a time will the enemy will be "frustrated" at God's plan, and the work He has in it ... and he'll "leave us for a more opportune time," as he did Jesus after His temptation in the desert.  And it's our job to "return to the work on the wall" that we're suppose to do!   

16 From that day on, half of my men did the work, while the other half were equipped with spears, shields, bows and armor. The officers posted themselves behind all the people of Judah 17 who were building the wall. Those who carried materials did their work with one hand and held a weapon in the other, 18 and each of the builders wore his sword at his side as he worked."

  And we continue our "work" ... with our weapon in one hand and our swords at our sides as we do! The Hebrew's definition of 'labor' here is: "properly deputyship, that is, ministry;  generally employment (never servile) or work; also property (as the result of labor)."  Ministry!!! It's our ministry!!  the work we're called to do!!!!  And "properly as the result of labor" .... that's an interesting definition.  We must work for OUR PROPERTY!!!!! ...it's the result of our labor.  Indeed, we must work for our property,  as Satan attempts to steal what belongs to us!!!  Need I remind you what that property is that belongs to us that we are laboring for: "your brothers, your sons and your daughters, your wives and your homes."  You've gotta fight, because Satan also fights for them!

19 Then I said to the nobles, the officials and the rest of the people, "The work is extensive and spread out, and we are widely separated from each other along the wall. 20 Wherever you hear the sound of the trumpet, join us there. Our God will fight for us!"

21 So we continued the work with half the men holding spears, from the first light of dawn till the stars came out. 22 At that time I also said to the people, "Have every man and his helper stay inside Jerusalem at night, so they can serve us as guards by night and workmen by day." 23 Neither I nor my brothers nor my men nor the guards with me took off our clothes; each had his weapon, even when he went for water."

    And isn't that what you email so often in your Scripture for the day? .... warning for us to never leave home without our armor!!!!  Never start the day without clothing ourselves with the protection that God has provided for us!!!!  Never going out without our weapon! ... "even when we go for water." ....... Even when drinking from the well of the Living Water!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  We must never be unequipped!!!  We must never let our guard down, day or night ... for the enemy watches and rages and seeks to tear down our walls ... or keep us from rebuilding them.  But "Our God will fight for us!!!!!!!!" ... and our HOPE is in Him!!!!!!!!! I love Him so!!!!!!!

    I'll close with that second verse in Jeremiah 2 that has Sanballat mockingly asking:  "Will they restore their wall?  Will they offer sacrifices?" ... And today I ask in all sincerity and hopefulness:  Will you?  And note the costly part,  restoring the wall will take SACRIFICES!  Are you willing to sacrifice??? And if you're not,  what will it cost you?  What will it cost your wife?  What will it cost your brothers?  What will it cost your children?  What will it cost theirs?   ""Will they restore their wall?  Will they offer sacrifices?  Can they bring the stones back to life from those heaps of rubble?""  Sure you can!  God is the giver of life,  Jesus the carpenter!  YOU the sacrifice!!!!!!!!!

    We'll still have the "work" to do.  Work as in labor [employment, job, vocation, occupation] that uses all of our energy!  Still others around us helping us, equipped with their spears and shield and bows and armor!